"Breakup," the word itself sounds very sad and depressing, no wonder why people take drastic steps after it actually happens. Love, a beautiful feeling, the strange combination of anxiety and excitement that makes you want more of it again and again, even when you know it's going to hurt you and drift you apart in pieces someday. The truth is, love is painful. But, that shouldn’t stop you from falling in love with someone, if you honestly want to. Life is full of ups and downs and breakup is one of them. Breakups happen every day, every single moment, there’s someone who is breaking up with their partner, and it's not easy even for them. So, don’t just give up and lose your confidence after a breakup, there are plenty of reasons, things, and people to live for.
We know it gets messy and difficult to deal with a breakup, and saying things is easier than following it yourself. But, at least we can try to stay strong and never give up, keep the confidence levels high, and move on.
Below are some tried and tested steps to deal with a breakup, all you need to do is give it a try.
#1. Spoil Yourself
The best remedy to cure the damage caused by love is to love yourself. Take your time post break up as an opportunity and start loving yourself. Give yourself some extra dose of love and care, allow yourself to do things which you always wanted to do but couldn't do because of your relationship. Stay away from things that remind you of your ex.
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#2. Get Rid Of Things That Remind You Of Your Ex
Things associated with your exes like their pictures, their gifts, their letters, and other stuff that make you nostalgic. One thing you can do is, collect them all and pack them together, and send it to your ex with a 'Thank You' note.
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#3. Write A Letter To Your Ex
After break up, we have so many things to say to our ex, and meeting them isn't an option as that would complicate the things. Thus, either write a letter to your ex or take out a photo of them, share or say everything that you would like to, read it after you're done; and then flush the picture/letter in the toilet. You'll instantly feel better, and that's a personal recommendation.
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#4. Find A Distraction
Start doing something, or join some club and do something new, whether you like it or not. This new activity will keep you engaged and make you forget everything slowly.
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#5. Find Someone To Talk And Keep An Open Mind
Talking is often good after break up, but make sure that you're ready for suggestions. Talk to your dearest friends, family, or elders about it. Start being kind to others, get along with elderlies and try to learn how to enjoy life.
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#6. Forgive And Forget
Last but not the least, forgive your ex and let it go. Forgiving someone for their actions is the best that you can do to recover faster. As soon as you forgive them, start forgetting them. It will take time, but it will happen instantly.
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Getting back to normal after a breakup is a two-way process; things to and not to do after your break up. Follow them, and you’ll regain your confidence back again. Again, we can only suggest, but it's you who has to perform it, so best of luck.
Step 1: What Not To Do After Your Break Up
#1. Stop Blaming Yourself For The Breakup
Whenever we part our ways and break up, the first thing we do is start blaming ourselves for such actions, and that has to stop if you want to get over it. It's not your fault, not entirely. Even if you were a little messed up, there were two people involved and the decision was mutual. Also, things won't get better even if you continue blaming yourself if you guys broke up permanently. Take it as a lesson and try to learn from it. Stop blaming yourself now, or it will take years to repair the damage that you do to your inner-self.
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#2. There Are Others Waiting For You
As said above, there is an infinite number of people and reasons to live for. The world is a huge place, and you’ll surely find someone else who deserves you more than the one that left you. But, if you don’t recover from your break up, you’ll miss out on those waiting for you, waiting for you to come out of your miseries and find them.
#3. Restore Your Faith In Love
There are very high chances that if you deserve people in your life, you'll find someone else very easily after your breakup. But, the only problem that might cause the darkness to prevail again, is your lost faith in love. Victims of break up start doubting their new partners of taking similar steps as their ex. These doubts inside your mind will never let you stay happy and will cause issues in your relationship. No one likes to be doubted, it's okay if you had a troubled past, but stop doubting everyone. If you continue to compare and doubt, your new found love will surely find out, and the same things will keep repeating, and this time it would be your fault entirely. So, better take preventions than running for the cure.
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#4. Stop Comparing Yourself With Your Ex's New Partner
Comparing yourself with your ex's new partner won't help you. Your ex-leaving you for them doesn't mean they are better than you. They might be more attractive than you, but if looks were the benchmark in love, then every average person would have died alone. However, it doesn't work like that. Besides, people fall in love with each other's soul, not with their physical appearance. So, if they left you because they found someone who looks better, than you, they will realize their mistake sooner or later and might come back to you. But, don't keep waiting for them, give yourself a second chance and get back in your regular routine.
Step 2: What To Do After Your Break Up
#1. Keep Moving Forward
Time and tide wait for none, and it won't change its course for you too. So, leave your past behind and bid goodbye or else you'll always be stuck with it. Life is moving ahead, so aim for the future, your Prince Charming or Queen Gorgeous is waiting for you somewhere, and you have to move on to find them.
#2. Find A New Dream/Goal
Some people, after break up, waste their time sobbing, blaming themselves, and try to win back what's lost. Whereas, there are people who take break up as an opportunity to try something new, experiment with their life. Most of these people use travel as an escape, and this works really well. But, if you're not an outgoing person, you can try other things which you like doing such as learn yoga, try any form of art, hit the gym, start a blog or write a book, and even a road trip helps. It will give you a sense of accomplishment and keep you busy.
#3. Start Dating Again
As much as you don’t like the idea, this is one thing you have to do to finally get over with your break up and all the emotional damage that you’ve endured. But not instantly after your break up, wait for some time, and then start. Dating back again is one of the best ways to regain your confidence and boost your morale. And this time, don’t rush into things, take your sweet time to know each other as friends before getting into a relationship.
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We hope you liked the article. And, next time you break up, instead of making yourself feel miserable, just remember the quote “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours forever”. Let us know if you have anything to ask or share using the comment section, we are all ears.
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10 Opinions
Your Self-confidence and self-esteem are the biggest assets that you can carry with yourself to heaven and hell. So, preserve it till death, don't let anyone damage them.
First, starting with self confidence, I and you both know the importance of self-confidence. If it was not for self-confidence we might not have had few great things in life like Facebook, Whats app, Angry birds, Microsoft, Apple, not even UC Browser. The reason these things exist today is because the men behind these great platforms never gave up. Why? Because they knew they can do it, and they didn’t stop until they achieved it. I hope you agree with the given examples. If you are confident about yourself, there is nothing you can’t achieve. But if you’re not, you will fail even in making a good coffee. This is all about the mindset and how you trick your brain into believing things that you want it to believe.
Coming to self-esteem, it’s what would be known for. There are people who survive the world. Whereas, there are people who live the world and do things that are remembered for centuries. What is their secret? Their self-esteem is the answer. People like Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela, and Socrates are very strong examples of ‘people who never compromised with their self-esteem’. These guys lead the fight and sacrificed their lives for their strong belifs and values.
According to me, money earns you all the luxuries you need in your life, but before compromising with your self-esteem for money, ask yourself if it is really worth it? Self-esteem is associated with your inner self. When you choose to make a compromise with your self-esteem, your soul suffers the consequences. You can repair physical damages, but there’s no medicine developed yet that can repair your self esteem.