How to Stop Being Jealous of Someone?

Human beings portray a lot of different emotions, some good some bad. But if there is one single emotion that we can pinpoint and announce to be absolutely evil, that would surely be jealousy. People say that jealousy is a people killer, and it destroys everything that comes in its stride.

Naturally, if one emotion can be as devastating as jealousy; the ideal discourse would be to curb it. However, that is where things get tricky. Every human being on the planet gets jealous. Jealousy is an innate human emotion, something that is hard to ever let go of.

People will tell you that their jealousy has destroyed many of their relationships, including with their partners, friends, and even relatives. Jealousy turns people mad and overwhelms them, and often gets the better of them. By now, you would have understood that the evil emotion of jealousy needs to be controlled. In this article, we discuss ways in which you can stop being jealous of other people and become a better and happier person in life. Take a look:

How Not To Be Jealous?

Before we get started on this, there is one thing that you need to know. Overcoming jealousy is not an easy thing to do by any means. What makes it even tricky is the fact that jealousy can come anytime. You might not be jealous of someone for a while, the very next moment, something might happen that might leave you jealous. It takes a lot of patience and the ability to reflect on your own life. Moreover, you need to be content with what you have in your life, and other’s success should only inspire you. Now that we’ve put the record straight, let’s see how to overcome jealousy.

#1. Jealousy vs Envy

You first need to start out by knowing the fine difference that exists between jealousy and envy. While these two words are often used interchangeably, they have a basic difference. Jealousy is what you feel when someone tries to take away something from you. On the other hand, envy is what you feel when someone has a thing that you can only wish for. Having said that, both these emotions stem from the same part of the brain. So, they’re not that different from each other.

If you want to overcome jealousy or envy, you just have to look at things differently. You have to make peace with what you have and can afford. In fact, you should use other people as an inspiration and work your way to have things that you always wanted. Start being generous and appreciate other people for their success in life. All it needs is to train your brain and make peace with your amenities.

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#2. Find Out The Reason For Your Jealousy

Like all other problems, you can only overcome jealousy when you know what caused it in the first place. Did your friend succeed in his professional life and that made you green in your stomach? Or did one of your friends got that one car you had always wanted? You first need to understand what makes you jealous. That is very important.

If it is about jealousy in your relationship, where you feel jealous of your partner, there must be a good reason why that happened. Did your partner get praised for something that you both had done together? Or did they bring in more money in the house and that made you jealous? The key is to be able to reflect and then let go. You need to know yourself completely. You need to understand that it is fine if you can’t have certain things in life. If you feel that another person is trying to steal your partner away from you, then that also might make you utterly jealous.

#3. Try To Look At Things Differently

Like we mentioned, if someone is trying to steal your partner away from you, it might make you jealous. However, sometimes, your jealousy might be absolutely unjustified. For instance, that person might just be trying to be kind to your partner. You need to have complete faith and trust in your relationship and the person you’re romantically involved with. If there is love between the two of you, then nothing in the world can pull you two apart. And if there is no love, then nothing can stop you guys from going away from each other. You being jealous and questioning all the time will never change a thing. What’s destined to happen, will happen.

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If one of your friends got a promotion at work or recently purchased a plush mansion for himself, it is natural that it might make you jealous. However, you sometimes have to detach yourself from the situation and look at things a bit differently. Try focusing on why your friend managed to have so much in his life and you couldn’t. Once you find an answer to that, you can start implementing those habits that made your friend so successful and use them to your benefits.

#4. Use Effective Relationship Skills

Jealousy is a very natural and obvious feeling, and we understand that sometimes it is beyond the control of a person. However, when it comes to relationships, in particular, you have to make sure that your jealous behavior doesn’t harm your relationship. Instead of getting jealous, use, what experts call as effective relationship skills. You can manage your relationship by being more rewarding to your partner. Praise your partner, give them compliments, go out on vacations and spend a lot of time together. Rekindle the old and innocent love you had for them.

The point here is that you have to save your relationship. And, being jealous is not the right way to do it. In fact, jealousy is a sign that you expect your partner to do all the things in order to make your relationship work. But, by implementing effective relationship skills, you both can share the mantle of making your wonderful relationship work.

#5. Understand If Your Assumptions Are Right Or Not

When it comes to jealousy in relationships, we often make the mistake of assuming some very harsh things about our partner. These things sometimes even include questions on their character. For instance, if your partner has been hanging out, or talking to someone for some time now, you start assuming that they are surely going to cheat you. But wait. How much truth is there to your assumptions anyway?

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Just because you are unable to get what you want, doesn’t mean that you’ll start assuming anything that you want to. Most times, jealousy stems from unrealistic expectations and assumptions. So, like all other things, you need to stop doing emotional reasoning. Scientists say that emotional reasoning is a huge hazard and can give rise to massive jealousy. Like we discussed above, take a back seat and love your partner. Stop assuming, stop reasoning and stop making life miserable for two people because of your own insecurities.

#6. Understand The Difference Between Competition And Comparison

Every big author has told us that comparisons are odious. Comparisons often give rise to the feelings of jealousy and envy. When you compare yourself with others, you’ll almost always fall short of your own expectations. And due to this, you’re bound to get jealous and envy from other people. When you compare two people, you tally them against each other and from there, it is like an accounting game that you play.

Competition, on the other hand, will bring out the best in you, as long as it is a healthy one. When you compete with someone, you don’t compare your life with them; rather, you assess the things that you can adopt to become a better and successful person. Remember the two people in your class who always used to compete with each other for the top spot? As long as there is healthy competition, there is no place for jealousy, and it certainly is the best way to deal with it.

#7. Gratitude And Happiness

When you are jealous of someone, you count the number of blessings they have while being absolutely ignorant of your own blessings. If you come from humble beginnings, you might often pit yourself against your more affluent friends. And, in hindsight, you forget your powers and what you can do as an individual. The key to overcoming jealousy is to be happy in life. Along with that, you also need to be gratuitous. Spread as much good will as you can, and you’ll slowly see yourself transforming into a better person.

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Just compliment people whenever you can. We all read a lot of stuff and find some pieces to be absolutely great. But, we never spend the time to tell the author that we loved their writing. Start doing it now. Don’t only think of your time, but with your emotional energy as well. When you start appreciating people more, you tend to get happy by their success and achievements. And if you keep on doing that, you will efficiently overcome jealousy. Remember that praise and love are not finite resources. You can give and receive any amount of love and praise without ever exhausting them.

#8. Acceptance

One of the most important parts of your journey to overcome jealousy is to accept that you’re jealous. It’s fine, people get jealous all the time, and there is no harm in being a little jealous. However, what’s important is to recognize the fact that you’re jealous. Whenever you think that jealousy is getting the better of you, step back and make yourself understand that what you feel is not the reality. Emotions are funny because they make you feel unreal things. It is important to accept your flaws and also to know that jealousy is just a feeling and it needs to go.

#9. Reflection And Action

And finally, the most crucial step to overcome your jealousy is to have control over your emotions. Like we said above, everyone gets jealous. And you will too. When it is about your relationship, remember that you don’t own the other person. Great relationships are often based on freedom. If ever you get jealous of your partner for any reason possible, try to let go of the feeling. If that doesn’t help, have an open conversation with them. When it comes to friends, well, learn from them. Know that they have achieved something in life that you couldn’t and see what you need to do extra in order to do better things in life.

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Jealousy is a lot like anger. Both are harmful to you and the people around you, but both can be controlled before it gets too late. Don’t let jealousy spoil your relationships and your life, in general. Jealousy will never make your relationship better, rather it will steer it towards the path of devastation and destruction. Be patient, be content, and reflect on your own life. Often times, self-control is the only key to happiness. Do as many kind deeds as you can and make other people feel happy of their achievements rather than looking down at them.

So, there you have it. Jealousy is a natural and complex emotion which needs to be addressed right away. This article was a sincere effort to educate you about the ills of jealousy and how you can overcome it. If you think that this article can help you or a friend of yours, do let us know in the comments below. We would love to hear from you.

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