We all have that one person around us who loves to exaggerate about things. A bragger is a person who talks excessively about everything and knows not where to stop. This becomes annoying at times. But it is difficult to always tell it to their face to control their bragging.
Braggers are mostly narcissist, and hence the little hints of yawning or being bored do not reach them to stop talking about themselves. That is mostly because they either do not notice or they are insensitive about other people's reactions. They will be telling you about their new shoes 3 times in a day. How do you stop this upcoming storm in your life? What if that person is someone really close to you and you have to gather the courage to stop their bragging habits? Let us understand a few things about bragging.
Very few people come to adulthood as independent personalities who have no negative notions about themselves. Parents and lot of other factors work in making children self-conscious about their flaws. Children almost always end up doing things that disappoint their parents. This is where they start believing that being yourself is not enough to impress.
Once they have a negative point of view of their capabilities, they need something to make them feel worthy enough. We can call them survival-strategy behaviors as they think that they are necessary for their survival. Once they get a positive response after their first few brags, they start liking the pattern and hence continue with the bragging. After some repetitions, it turns into a habit making them the official bragger.
It is most important for them to know that they do not need the approval of others to feel okay. Also, they can stop the bragging anytime by removing the negative self-esteem beliefs.
#1. Change The Topic
A very effective method to stop your friend from stop bragging is changing the path the conversation is going. Change the topic to something that the other person loves to talk about and which does not involve their bragging. Maybe you can discuss a movie that you both loved watching. The best topic would be to talk about someone else praiseworthy and make the bragger appreciate someone else too for a change. If your friend keeps steering the conversation back to themselves, you can politely let them know that you do not want to talk about that right now. They will realize you are not liking the boasting much.
#2. Set An Example
Everybody brags at times and seeing you do it might have motivated your friend to go on with their habits. So take a pause next time you are boasting about something and admit your mistake in front of them. Make an apology to your friend mentioning how gloating is a very mean thing which makes people feel bad. Make a note to say that you won't do it in future. Looking at you realizing your folly might motivate your friend to just follow your footsteps. Your friend might already be aware of their problem about bragging, seeing you trying to accept that it is bad will take them closer to curbing their bad habit. But also be sure that you do not fake this act just to teach them a lesson as that might make them feel hurt and they will go far from sharing their problem with you.
#3. Appreciate Originality
Most people start the bragging because they have insecurities about themselves and think that others will only like them if they are something great. Let your dear one know that you appreciate them for their heart and not their fortune and possessions. Go on and talk about the good qualities you see in them. Emphasize on the fact that you will stay with them even if the other was devoid of things they boast about. This will make them feel that all the bragging efforts are unnecessary and they feel accepted by you for what they are. Once they understand that you do not get impressed by their exaggeration of things, they will feel uncomfortable to continue that behaviour in front of you in future.
#4. Give An Overreaction
Your friend is fabricating details of an event and telling something bigger than what actually happened. It is only fair that you give them a taste of their own medicine by overdoing your reactions. Do not give subtle compliments when they brag about something they own. Instead of saying "oh that is good", you try saying "oh my, that is the best thing ever" or "you are so perfect". This will make them think if the thing was actually worth such appreciation. If not they will understand the sarcasm in your tone and will avoid exaggerating the details next time.
#5. Tell About Another Bragger
Choose a good time and start your tale about an imaginary friend who shows off a lot of things. Make up stories about things friends tell about a lot. Make sure that the story runs parallel to theirs so that they are able to relate to that third person. After that mention the fact that you would have liked that person more if it was not for their bragging habit. Your friend will definitely realize that it would be better to quit the habit as people do not like it anymore.
#6. Be A Bragger Yourself
When you have a bragger friend, there are not many choices left to your rescue. You can copy the habits of your friend and try to outdo them maybe. Let them know how it feels to face someone like them. So if they tell you that they can pick up 100 kg weight, you should be saying you can do 150 kg. If they say that they know Shah Rukh Khan, you say that you know Brad Pitt. Just stay two steps ahead of them. A bragger never likes another one like them. They will stop boasting in front of you in the fear of being outdone.
#7. Discuss Bragging
If all the indirect approaches have failed to convince the person to stop with their nuisance habit, have a direct talk about how you would like their bragging to be put on a hold now. The people who brag are often insecure about themselves, so make sure you take them to a place where they feel comfortable to talk about their inner feelings. Your attitude also plays a big role in here. Be compassionate and make them understand why they need to stop boasting about things. Ask them to try being themselves for a few days and see how it feels. They will definitely feel good as they will see life in a different way now. This way, you can help them in controlling excessive talking about everything.
#8. Do Not Insult
Your friend might have been bragging for a long time now but consider the fact that their intentions were never to hurt the sentiments of others. So respect their feelings too when you plan to talk to them about controlling their boasting statements. Do not gang up on the person. Treat them with kindness and respect. If the person brags only about a few things, you should understand that it is something close to their heart. It is only natural to feel happy discussing it. They do not mean to cause hurt to other with it. Therefore, avoid insulting words if you want to discuss bragging with them.
#9. Assess Your Bond
If you are constantly being troubled by someone's bragging, you should ask yourself how important that person is in your life. You can think about limiting your friendship if none of the methods work on them. If you hold that person close to your heart, letting go would be a very big step. You can instead consider a break away from them. This will let you decide whether or not you want to go back to being buddies with them. If not, you know what to do to never see that person again.
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