“If you judge people, you will have no time to love them.” ~ Mother Teresa
All of us experience faded friendships from time to time due to several reasons. Be it a lifestyle adjustment, differing interests or any other conflict; each relationship goes through that rough phase of life. But, if now, you are on the verge of wanting to get back the broken friendship with any of them-BFFs, we are here to help you.
Old disagreements keep creeping in when we allow it to happen. Fortunately, if you have the willpower, nothing can stop you from reaching the desired goal. Just follow these steps and begin the revitalization process of your broken friendship.
I wanted to contact my best friend all this time, but something or the other kept me occupied. This way I wasted almost 4 years of my life, assuming that he will be the one who would initiate. But when he didn't, I kept on delaying my individual efforts. A huge conflict broke our friendship and all the connections that could bring us back. One of us was to blame for the distances that drifted our friendship apart. But, the void somewhat led me to realize how important friends are, especially if you have shared half of your lifetime with them. So, this is what worked for me and might also work for you! Don't hesitate to device your own ways.
#1. Don't Be Scared Of Taking The First Step
If you are the one waiting for your friend to take that first step, it becomes really difficult to manage broken friendships. Take that initiative and don't wait for the other person to come up to you and mend the relationship. But on the other side, be prepared to accept that the other person may not be ready to reconcile. So, even if that is the case, you will at least get an idea of what your friend has been thinking about all this time. You will exactly know if you should rebuild the relationship or not.
#2. Learn To Apologize And Forgive
If you somewhat feel that your own actions ruined the friendship, be prepared to say this to the other person and offer them a sincere apology. Just make sure you know exactly what to say and how to start the same. You would not want to ruin your efforts. And if it is the same on the other side, your friend is ready to apologize, then realize that it is important for you to forgive and forget. Even if you don't want to be friends with them, just ensure that you know how to forgive and move on. If forgiveness matters from both the sides, your friendship will create a great tomorrow.
#3. Make Future Plans
Certain odd situations came in your way, you fought, you stopped speaking with each other, but now, it is time for you to let that past go. Do not look back at what all negatives happened and affected you personally. But make sure that you heal yourself in future. Take the initiative; don't start with the past but with the present. Try to make time for each other. Do not show that you want to heal your old scars. Just be willing to make your present and future run towards the best. Recall the instances that made you the best friends and simply follow the track that life puts forward.
#4. Give Them The Processing Time
You have been in a broken friendship, and each one of you needs that time to process and analyze the situation and the alternatives. Even after taking the initiative, you and your friend will need to invest some time to understand how to go about after the break. So, just because one of you is ready to rekindle does not mean that the other person too is. The other person might just be off the coast. You need to let them get on the track and give it a thought. And of course, none of you would want to make a decision that you regret after getting back from a broken phase. It is just unaffordable. Accept the reality of friendship. The other person could be occupied, with their set of friends around, juggling with work and family along with handling matters of other sorts. And if you get back, you will have to undergo real shots to make things work again.
#5. You Need To Respectfully Listen
Yes, be a good listener. Keep your meeting short and crisp. No matter how great a bond you shared, you will have to interact in a manner that's acceptable. And by listening to them is how you can actually pay more and more respect. Do not make the other person feel like they are not important or it is all about you. No, that is not how it would work. You need to carry out some really meaningful conversations and encourage them to speak their heart out. After the entire time gap, it may seem awkward to say anything. But, if that's what you are focusing on, then you might never ever be able to get back with the friend who was like your guardian angel as well as a partner in crime. If there is any confusion, you are free to clear your doubts. Try to get that point expanded to avoid any miscommunication.
#6. Understand The Difference
Friendships, or for that matter, no relationship is ever perfect. So, you need to also understand that the dynamics of your friendship too will not be perfect, especially when you are trying to mend the one that is broken. Times change and so do people. Do not hold anything negative against your friend. It's not their fault. Change is constant, and so it has to occur. Accept them the way they are now. You don't have to concentrate on how much they have changed from that of their past self. But embrace their present. Put your efforts and the time into nurturing the relationship in an innovative way. But, remember to put in efforts for people who also want to respect your time and perspective!
#7. Let It All Go
Some relationships are just not meant to stay together. So, maybe after all those efforts, this is why the two of you are not able to reconcile. This is when you should just let it go and focus on your personal developments. You have faced all the difficulties and tough times together. Maybe that's all that your relationship was about. Some good days and some bad days make you learn some great lessons. You are adults, and you need to let it go! And why you should let it go is simple - past is really the past and that is how it's going to be. So, just stop clinging to it and live a happy life. Isn't that what even all the Disney characters keep telling us from time to time? Things were out of your control, but they aren't anymore. You will be happy and healthy if you are able to love yourself more and let the past remain in the past.
#1. Do not write them off in the heat of the situation.
#2. Your thoughts of fear are just keeping you stuck at one place.
#3. Surround yourself with objectivity.
#4. Give your ego a break in such circumstances.
#5. Do not play the blame game and try that just for once.
#6. Get ready for apologizing if it was your fault.
#7. Do not force reciprocity.
#8. Don't make them pin against the wall and list the WHYs.
#9. Remember that you are playing with fire.
#10. Free yourself from guilt.
#11. Remember that you have to maintain certain boundaries.
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