How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child?

1,049 Views Updated: 09 Jan 2019
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How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child?

Emotional intelligence is the new measure of success. A person with higher Emotional Quotient (EQ) is believed to be more successful in their life than a person with a higher Intelligence Quotient (IQ). What exactly is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. An individual with self-awareness, self-regulation, social skills, empathy, and motivation are the key components of emotional intelligence. All these qualities along with powerful cognitive abilities are responsible for a person’s success. We often do not recognize our skills and abilities until we grow up and get exposed to the ideas. If a person could be aware of their emotional intelligence in a young age, then the chances of achieving their goals would increase. With the help of training and an appropriate upbringing, a child could accomplish anything they wish when he/she becomes an adult. Our parents were not conscious about emotional intelligence and its benefits. But, we can mold our children at a young age to assure their success in future. How to raise an emotionally intelligent child?

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You know what is emotional intelligence now, so before we learn how to raise an emotionally intelligent child, we must now explore the signs that tell you that if you're blessed with an emotionally intelligent child or not. An emotionally intelligent child is very expressive. They will cry or laugh instantly. They are sensitive to feelings and things happening in their environment affect them a lot. They will mimic you and their friends which shows that they are artists. They may like to draw and paint as an expression of their emotions. Your child may have opinions about certain things or people which is quite unexpected at such an age. If your child talks to you about the feelings of a character in a story and has opinions about every character, then know that your child is emotionally intelligent. Your child would be curious to know more about people and stuff around them. Children with emotional intelligence are more obeying. They will listen carefully to everything you tell them. They are sympathetic, and they do not judge other children. Usually, they will be the problem solver in their group. Most importantly, they think before reacting. Children react quickly to anything that they do not like, but if your child pauses before reacting, then you have an emotionally intelligent child. When they take a pause, they think about the situation and the reaction which is a very good sign of intelligence. The child will grow up and become wiser. So, now that you have a list of signs to tell that your child is emotionally intelligent, you can jump to the part where you can know how to raise an emotionally intelligent child.

#1. Pay Attention To Your Child 

The first and the foremost thing is that the parents should observe their children closely. Parents often forget to pay attention to their children which also becomes a big problem in raising the children properly. If the parents do not listen to them, they will never know what the child needs and how they feel. Parents should lend their ears to their children because they can feel a variety of emotions altogether and they may not even know how to express them. If the child does not find a way to vent their emotions, then it will affect the child’s mind. The child will turn troubled and irritated. A stressful childhood will stunt the growth and overall development of the child. Therefore, the parents should listen to their children because they need extra care and affection from the parents.

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#2. Validate Their Emotions

If your child is very young and has no idea about what emotions are, then you can instill in them the value of emotions. Build their vocabulary with the words for different feelings so that they know which word is used to describe their emotions. And when the child is able to express his/her feelings, then start validating them. Encourage your children to feel and determine that it is not bad to express your feelings. If your child is angry at something, then validate their anger by saying that it is normal to feel that way. If you ask your child not to feel or express an emotion, then they will evoke a feeling of guilt. It will again become a source of stress for the child. Accept your child’s emotions, so they learn to manage them. Disapproving your child’s feelings will make them repress those emotions. Praise your child for expressing their emotions so that they learn that their emotions are acceptable. It is okay to feel the way they do.

#3. Encourage Them To Speak Their Mind

Encourage your child to speak their mind. They have plenty of thoughts and emotions in their mind. Children are the most curious beings because they do not know anything about the world. They are just exploring the world, and when they have questions, they need answers too. They ask questions from their parents, so it becomes the responsibility of the parents to clear the doubts of the child. Let the child speak his mind and let them give their opinion about something. Correct them if they made a wrong opinion or just answer their queries because they need to know the right information. During childhood, we build certain theories or facts that are not true, but if the child knows the accurate facts, then they will start questioning further. Problems are very vital for the growth of the mind. They force the child to think and find a solution to those problems. Encourage them to display their emotions without fear. They should not have any sort of fear about anything, and when you solve their doubts, there won't be any room for illogical fears and apprehensions.

#4. Be Their Role Model

Children learn everything from their parents. Kids are in the habit of mimicking their parents and teachers as they observe them the most. The behavior that the parents portray is caught by the children swiftly. They wish to become like their parents as they are the idols for them. Hence, the latter then must maintain a conduct of behavior. They should not hide their emotions because children sense there is something is wrong. They will know when you are upset or angry. And if you repress those feelings in front of your children, they will assume that those emotions are to be hidden and they will practice the same. You should be expressive with your children and the environment at your home should be warm and welcoming. You should have healthy debates at home instead of aggressive and violent fights. The children should be allowed to argue and stand for what they believe in which will help them achieve their goals in future.

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#5. Teaching Them To Be Thoughtful

The most important part of emotional intelligence is the ability to understand other person’s emotions. You should teach your child that other people’s emotions are equally important and that they should think from other people’s perspectives as well. Tell them the difference between sympathy and empathy. They should be empathetic and should work on taking care of other people. They must know that they should be thinking for every person irrespective of the relationship they may or may not share with them. They should respect strangers and elders without biases. If they understand other people’s feeling, then it will be easier for them to feel their own. They will be able to help people in need. Being empathetic, one can build strong relationships that will last long. Every person wants to be heard and cared for, and emotionally intelligent people should pay attention to other people’s need.

#6. Discipline The Child

If you want your child to succeed in life, then they should be disciplined. The child may feel a lot of emotions, but they do not know how to control them. They should know the difference between the right and the wrong. If the child does not handle their emotions, then they can end up hurting themselves or others around them. Inform your child that it is not wrong to have negative emotions, but they should be able to deal with them. If they are angry, then they should take it out without hurting someone. Biting, punching or using abusive language is prohibited for them. There are other ways with which they can relax their mind like they could write whatever they feel or paint if they like. They could distract themselves through music or do something that pleases them. This can be adopted by adults as well to control their feelings. Make the child solve their problem without investing too many emotions in it. Teach them that emotions alone should not control their actions. They should think about the consequences and effects of it on other people. Their actions should be based on its relevance. If the child inculcates these habits, then they will surely accomplish a superior lifestyle. 

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(Image Courtesy: 1. Baby Center, 2. Parenting, 3. Smart Kid, 4. Creative; Beenke (Featured Image)
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