"Haters don't really hate you. They, in fact, hate themselves. Because you are a reflection of who they wish to be." - Unknown
Haters are people who hate others. No matter what you do and how well you do it; they will find a reason to bring about rain on your best parade day. Hate gets accompanied by jealousy towards your accomplishments which is again negatively expressed.
Dealing with haters isn't an easy task as they are critical of just everything that happens around them. They will never acknowledge any of your positives but attack for even the smallest hiccup you create. Therefore, here is how you can deal with haters and not hate them back.
Hatred is essentially an extreme emotional dislike towards another person which is associated with disgust, anger, and hostility. Usually, it is the outcome of critical judgment. Hate can also be termed as a feeling that involves being insecure, frustrated and envious towards other person's behavior as well as successes. But, why do we hate people? What is it exactly all about? Even after being evolved in terms of civilizations and economy, why are we still floating in the air of uncontrollable resentment? What is it that turns around the human psyche and affects their thought processes?
We hate differences, we cannot tolerate individual projections, we hate uncertainties, we are unable to cope with the dark sides and for that matter, we at times hate our own selves. The entire act involves being unconscious of who we are. In this process, we classify other beings as allies, and with time this act becomes a priority. That's the easiest thing we can do - categorize people, whosoever they are. We tend to determine the level of comfort and trust that we share with the other person and accordingly size them as someone to hate or love.
It is all a brain game. Once our mind assumes something to be true, none of the bits of evidence can actually shake that belief of ours. And now we are being conditioned in a similar manner. We see hatred everywhere and we think it's normal. This way, neither do we try to save ourselves nor do we know how to actually do what we want to do. Basically, hate arises where there are low tolerance levels. At times the causes can be reasonable, but not every time. Even ego is one problem that relates with hate. When your ego gets offended easily, hatred is the final outcome. Territorial issues are another thing wherein prejudice arises easily.
Someone who hates you does that for one of these reasons - You pose a threat to them, they hate themselves, or they just want to be like you. It is very easy for us to be right and hate, but hard to be wrong and grow. Accepting things as they are, make it pretty much easier for us to not hate but love the realities.
Haters are everywhere - You can love them, you can hate them back, but you surely cannot avoid them at all. Therefore, through my experiences, this is what I can summarize about dealing with haters in just any situation.
#1. Ignore The Haters
This is the best way to deal with haters. It can be difficult at the beginning, but once you know how to go about it, things start getting sorted. After all, you don't have to pay attention to the foolishness other people have to say about you. If you keep thinking about what they say and how they make you feel, will you get the time to fulfill your own purpose in life?
And paying them the attention they want makes you also get in terms with their negativity. None of their talks and thoughts are constructive, so it's better that you do not value those and ignore such actions. People like these tend to ruin your existence to feel satisfied with themselves. So, what's the point of stressing yourself regarding someone who you cannot do anything about?
#2. Do Not Spend Time On Justification
Haters can never get over their attitude. So, always remember that you do not owe them anything. Hence, give no unnecessary explanations unless he/ she is someone really close and has that attitude because of your mistakes. You don't have to apologize because of their hate. If they approach you with a negative or cursing manner, stay away from them. But if they approach you sensibly and really want you to listen to their point of view, that's a pretty correct and respectful manner. Go ahead and see what they have to say. But make sure the situation does not go beyond your control. Hold on to your integrity and make others treat you with the same respect and value.
#3. Remember Not To Take It Personally
Critically analyze if the hate comments are actually unworthy or they can be taken as constructive criticism. If they can be, good for you. If not, do not take those remarks to your heart. Know that the feelings of hate and jealousy have nothing to do with who you are and your circumstances. It is about the shortcomings of that very person. You don't have to let his/ her actions become a measuring scale for your own success. Focus on the people who believe in you and who support you. Keep reminding yourself that people hate you because you are doing something that they could not!
#4. Address Them Head On
When ignoring and maintaining your cool is not the perfect option, directly approach the situation. Confront haters about their behavior without getting destructive. Let them know that something is bothering you which is also causing a havoc. Let them know how unnecessary their way is to deal with your accomplishments. Make them aware of their negativity and rude behavior. At times, it may even make certain people change their attitude. But if they do not, try to silence them for once and for all. Get thicker on your skin and fight their fire with your fire. Just be clear with what you have to say and keep doing the things that you think would frustrate them even more.
#5. You Don't Have To Retaliate Brutally
When you retaliate with an even more nasty comment than theirs, you are giving this person what he/ she wants. They look for such responses to create a mess out of every situation. But, what you forget is that they do not deserve your time and efforts. You don't have to embarrass them with any kinds of witty comebacks. Your brutal retaliation will only hinder your own mental peace along with getting your level down to the other person.
#6. Don't Be A People's Pleaser
Always keep this in mind, whatever you do, whenever you do and however you do; there will be that one person who would never appreciate your efforts or accomplishments. He/ she will keep following your achievements but would ruin the circumstances (even more) when you fail. You walk straight; they will have a problem. You go left; they will get crazy. You choose right; they still will get mad. But you do not have to try and fit in with everyone else's preferences. This way, you might end up pilling up more number of haters on the list. So, forget pleasing people and make sure you are following your own unique way. Not everyone is going to like you, and you have to accept that. Forget what others have to say and think about yourself first. Just be you and love being yourself.
#7. If You Can, Help Them Overcome Hatred
Whenever you feel you might not want to offer that unrealistic ignorance to a hater, opt for this approach. No matter how negative they are, you make sure to keep all your interactions positive. Guide them in a way that might raise them above this scenario. Open up regarding your own personal struggles. Let them know that they aren't alone; you too are amongst the imperfect ones. Help them arise from their inferior complexes. Do not sound superior while trying to correct them. But, support them like they are better than the rest of the world. Show them the alternatives they have due to which they envy you. Provide them with the possibilities you think they might need. And understand from where the negativity may have originated. If you can, try finding the actual source of this person's hatred. Or just ask them directly if there is something that's bothersome for them. And simplify their life along with yours.
Liked what you just read? Want to read more such informational stuff? Or would you like to share any of your personal experiences/ opinions? Let us know through the comment section below. We would love to hear from you!
5 Opinions
