There are many situations in life when we don’t get our due. People are often judged, punished and blamed for no fault of theirs. Blames, arguments, debates are a part and parcel of our lives. No one can escape them. Nor can we turn a blind eye to the series of actions and emotions before us. We have to encounter a number of things and have to accept, this is how things in life roll.
At times, when you are blamed for your fault, you go mad and sometimes you do not feel like talking to anyone. This is normal, everyone gets het-up and go ballistic. But what if you are blamed for anything without any rhyme and reason? We should not take the blame, instead of being passive sufferers we must bring in alertness and active approach. Taking blame without your mistake is stupidity. Sometimes, it can be acceptable, and it is necessary too. While you are taking blames and allowing yourself to go through this ordeal every time, you are giving others the opportunity to rest the entire blame on you. So beware, and think! Do not accept things as they are; one has to change the course of things in order to be noticed and acknowledged.
Getting yourself in the game of finger-pointing adds insult to injury, and things get aggravated to a great deal. Just do not involve yourself in petty things and move on. Discuss your problem with others and look for a solution which can actually work wonders. Manage your own work and do not drag yourself away in others’ work. Let your boss and managers know the assignments you do so that no one can blame you out of the blue.
If you always have fallen prey to others mischief or misdeeds or baseless allegations, you must have felt extremely bad for having grown through the phase of utter disgust which happened to be a convulsion of emotions. Chances are you might have been mortified. Here are some of the points which tell you how not to take the blame for no mistake of your own:
#1. Express Your Emotions Clearly
Do not bottle up your emotions, just discharge them according to circumstances and situations. If you fail to exhibit your true feelings, people will take you for granted and will pick up a habit of blaming you for every possible thing. This happens when people demean and belittle you and treat you in a condescending manner.
Stay away from people who want to put a check on your words and emotions. Your feelings should be direct and expressive. Do not beat about the bush and wear your heart on your sleeves. If your feelings are under the carpet, your good deeds will naturally slide under the carpet and will remain under wraps for keeps. It is better to let out all the tides and waves of thoughts so that people can take you seriously.
#2. Figure Out Why People Blame You
Sometimes your attitude is the reason why people blame you habitually. Just get to know the ins and outs of everything and get to the bottom of things why people behave in such a manner and have this attitude towards. People at times get out of hand, and it is at that point that they need to be pointed out. You can either talk to them directly or ask others about their weird behavior and what prods them to target you every time.
Inadvertently, people commit mistakes, and then they fail to realize this and others without informing them, think on their own. Some people fail to understand the mechanisms of behavior of people.
#3. Be Assertive
Be emphatic in whatever you say and whatever you do. Be confident and do not let yourself be oppressed or suppressed in any way. Also, stick to your opinions and do not let others deter you. Once you are adamant on something, people will realize your importance. They will value you and would not be able to blame you in future.
For instance, if you are repeatedly targeted for no fault, give the person to his or her face and tell them assertively not to repeat it again in future as you are not at all at fault. Tell them flatly and in a bit of harsh tone so that that they do not take you lightly.
#4. Introspection
Mull on things and see if you are wrong. Be clear of doubts, if you have shades of doubts surfacing on the mind, it means it is you who is the villain of the piece in bits and pieces. An iota of doubt reflects the certainty of your being guilty, however, if you are of the view that you are treated harshly by others at a class, meeting or at a workplace, you should take some stern action in order to avoid further embarrassments in future.
#5. Object Directly
Do not accept the blame right away, explain your situation to others and ask them to compare and analyze events in order to reach a conclusion. If you are always at the receiving end, you are sure to become the object of blame every time. If you want to avoid such situations, prey to such situations, you must deny any blame hurled on you. Sometimes people do it intentionally to malign your reputation because they are either jealous of you or hate you from the core of their heart.
#6. Discuss And Interact
Interaction and communication can help solve all the conflicts and altercations. One must talk to people to discuss and sort out things. We have to discuss things with others and ask them what upsets them if somebody despises you, the reasons behind their unexplained conduct and their way of dealing with you.
What happens is people do not communicate, and all the bitter things are left unsolved. Silence cannot be golden every time, so you must speak and share your thoughts with people so that all the misunderstandings are cleared straightway.
Try discussing with people what bothers them and let them know your mental state and ask them to co-operate with you.
#7. Ask Them Not To Point Out Everytime
People have this bad habit of pointing others at all occasions. Ask them to mind their own business and reconsider their thoughts and tell them to think twice before they speak. This will help them understand your value and your temperament that you will no longer take their unnecessary blame.
Tell them you refuse to be a scapegoat and would not like to sacrifice every time with no mistake or blunder of your own. After all, why do you have to suffer for the mistakes of others? Do not accept the criticism with the load of culpability resting on your shoulders.
#8. Accept When You are Wrong
Do not be in denial, admit when you are wrong and take the responsibility when you are wrong. Do not be obstinate when you are wrong. People get angry and form groups against you in order to target you or probably to retaliate. The feeling of vengeance is very bad and can break many relationships. It does not hold anything good in its lap.
When you confess and take the blame, you earn respect from all around, and people begin to trust you and start a friendship with you, and you can share your viewpoints and repressed emotions with them anytime. This also gives you confidence and makes you aware of your own mistakes.
#9. Do Not Trust Everyone
Maintaining a harmonious relationship is no big deal, people must trust each other so that they can accomplish their tasks easily but do not trust everyone. Trusting everyone can land you in a big mess. Sometimes you unfold your plans and motives to people who are not trustworthy. It is not because that they appear trustworthy, but it is because of the veneer they have. The masquerade people put on lets you down every time, and you fail to prove your innocence, and hence your life becomes all bungled up owing to this excess trust you have in people.
#10. Ruminate On Past
Think of your past and your mistakes and the times when you have been targeted for no genuine reasons. Go into your past and check if this has been happening to you since long or has started just now. When you know the exact situation, you get the picture why you have been treated in a cold manner and blamed for everything. People set you up when they feel you are an easy catch who would not be able to criticize them and utter a word against them.
Past will help you get familiar with your own deeds and misdeeds. What came about in past somehow reflects its vestiges in the present itself. Just stay alert and do not let your mistakes of the past affect your future.
Have you ever been blamed for no fault of yours? What did you do to avoid such situations? Please share your opinions in the comments.
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