Since the day a human is born, he/she is dependent on others for survival. An infant is dependent on the parents for food and protection till they become an adult. When we are in school and college, we need the help of the teacher to gain knowledge. We need friends to encourage us and to socialize. When we grow up, we need a life partner to live with us so that life becomes easier with their presence in our lives. We need help, and we have been seeking help from other people ever since we are born. We need help and therefore asking for help shouldn't be an embarrassment. However, how to ask for help is tricky enough to nail.
A lot of people find it hard to ask for help. People who have developed the idea of individualism and independence do not ask for help because they believe in doing everything on their own. They do not wish to oblige people, and they would do everything on their own no matter how tough is the task. Some people think that independence is when you do not have to depend on some other person to help you, but they forget that taking help will not make them inferior. There should not be a feeling of inferiority when asking for help.
Any person who does not take help will never make it far. At every step, you will find a difficulty that you will not be able to solve yourself. You will need the help from some other at some point in time because you are not perfect at everything. Until you learn a skill from someone, you will never succeed. A person may be born talented, but that talent cannot alone make that person successful unless it turns into a skill. All the great people in the world did not achieve what they have today by being all alone. They had and still have a team who supports them because of whom they are able to maintain their success. The people will respect you when you ask for their help. They will think that you asked for help because you trust them. They will respect your faith in them, and they will help you in need. You will also get to know who your true friends are. The person who agrees to help you instantly is your true friend and a person who makes excuses and takes time in deciding whether to help you or not is a fake friend. When you allow someone to help, you make them feel better about themselves. Helping someone makes a person feel good, and therefore you will help a person feel happy this way. Asking for help gives a person an opportunity to connect with our friends and when we socialize, our stress reduces gradually. You build a strong connection and your stress level further dips down. What else does a person need?
#1. Decide When You Need Help
Before asking for help, you must have a situation where you need one. So, decide when you need help. There is no perfect moment to ask for help, but you should also not ask for help in a moment that is not appropriate. You need to be aware of the other person’s situation before you ask for their help. See if the person is free or they are busy doing some work. If the person has been busy for too long, expecting for help from them might be way too much. Make sure that the person is available to help you and that they are free. If you need help with the dishes at home, then first analyze the mood of your spouse or your kids and then go on to requesting help. If your partner had a bad day at work, then it would not be nice of you to ask for their help, or if your kids got punished in school, then they would already be aggravated. They may not help you, or if they agree, then they may not do it properly. What is the use of asking for help if they increase the workload instead of easing it for you? Choose the moment wisely before asking for help.
#2. Make The Request For Help
Nobody will help you until you ask for it. Do you need help? Ask for it. Speak up and ask the person to help you and then wait for them to reply. You may feel hesitant, but you should be courageous enough to speak if you want something. Choose the right person you ask for help because the right person will be able to help you correctly. Others will just increase your workload instead of decreasing it like mentioned above. Make sure that the person is ready to help you not out of an obligation or compulsion but willingly. The person should be ready to help you because they wish to help you. A person who helps you because you are a senior or you have more authority will never give ease your work or provide you with comfort. They will complete the task for the sake of doing it. A person who cares for you and respects you will always be there to help you. You get to know who your well- wisher is during the times of need.
#3. Express What You Need
When you ask for help, inform the person about what their task is and how they can solve it. The person may be perfect for it, but they cannot know what you need unless you tell them. A lot of times people ask for help from people, but they do not tell them what outcome they expect and so when the person is done helping them they feel unsatisfied with the results. How will the person helping you know what you need? Tell the helper about what you have in your mind, and they will try to give you the same. Do not keep high expectations from the person because what you picture cannot be totally understood by the other person. What they do will be different from how you would have done a particular task. Be happy that you got help. You will get your work done and that is more important. For example, you want to get a painting made from a friend who is good at art. The friend will not know what you want in the painting until you describe it to them. The outcome will be slightly different from your imagination.
#4. Express Gratitude
After the person has helped, you should always express gratitude. Thank the person for helping you and giving an outcome exactly how you imagined even if it is not. Do not have high expectations from them because they may not be an expert at it. You should be courteous and kind because the person took out time to help you. They could have done something else in that time, but they chose to help you because they care for you. Be thankful for having such good people in life. If you maintain good relations with them, then they can help you in future as well, and that is why you need to ask for help from people. Unless you ask someone to help you, you will never know how good a person they may be. You create a special bond with the person, and that person may not have been on your mind for a long time. You get to make new friends this way.
#5. Help Others In Return
A person who helps you always expects help in return. When someone has helped you, they believe that you will help them as well when they will need it. Help people as much as you can because this is how it works. You help someone and they help you back. Life will be easier when your work gets completed on time without putting in extra efforts.
Did you ever ask for help? How was your experience? Share your views with us through the comments section below.
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