Verbal abuse is a broad term that has much more to it than what meets the eye. The reason behind a person being verbally abusive towards his or her loved ones could be many. Most of the time, this nature is characterized by impulsive behavior coupled with the feeling of fear and failure of taking responsibility for his or her own actions.
The reason for this attitude that develops in a person could range from low self-esteem to a troubled childhood, where the person looks for someone weaker to vent out their anger upon. A person usually does not seek repentance and acceptance for his/her impulsive actions, and such a person should be made aware of his or her irrational behavior soon. These bouts of anger may be following some bouts of guilt or repressed failure in life that never had an outlet. Sometimes when people get out of a strained relationship being the victim, they tend to force their power or superiority in the next relationship in order to set up a boundary for himself so that he cannot be treated this way again. The same way, people with strict parents or a troubled childhood tend to vent out their frustration by bullying people directly or indirectly, often using verbal abuse as their major weapon. The ways a person can bully a verbally abusive can vary from criticism, sarcasm, calling names, putting a person down, etc.
Verbally abusive people are not just low on patience but also low on self-confidence and venting out their opinions through aggression seems to be the easiest way for them. If you are in a verbally abusive relationship or your loved one is, or if you happen to know someone with a verbally abusive behavior, then you must start by clearing their misunderstandings. You must tell them that their impulsive and irrational behavior with that cranky volume won't manipulate anyone or bring any good to them. The most effective method to treat this behavior is through therapy.
#1. Suppressed Guilt
Most common reason why verbally abusive people act the way that they do is that they have some repressed guilt regarding some failure that they might have undergone and weren't able to approach the matter as they wished to. They tend to manipulate those around them just to make themselves seem superior, especially in a relationship. They tend to build such walls in order to prevent getting hurt.
#2. Failure In Life
Impulsive people usually tend to put the blame of their life's failure on their friends, family or loved ones. They tend to remain frustrated and dissatisfied with life almost all the time and put an end to their day by putting the blame for it all on the people around. By shouting or abusing, they express not just their anger but also try to prove that they have built barriers. They are usually not bothered by other’s opinions on the matter and tend to force their decisions on others. According to several studies, it has been proven that this kind of behavior is most often seen in men, although women equally hold grudges and express it in a verbally abusive way.
#3. Inability To Take Responsibility
When verbally abusive people realize that they are wrong, they subconsciously avoid taking responsibility for their own actions by venting out in an abusive manner. Most of the time, verbally abusive people need not even shout in order to put others down and use demeaning names and labels towards their loved ones or people around them. They are amazing manipulators and will make you succumb to their decisions. Avoiding their random but common bouts of anger are the best way to deal with people having this kind of behavior, be it at a workplace, a friend, a family member, etc. Therapy goes a long way, as well as professional advice, always helps.
#4. They Lack The Ability To Forgive Easily
Accepting their faults and forgiving others are some qualities that are seen lacking in people with such behavior. They tend to express their disagreement and frustration verbally, and if someone close to you seems to act this way, it is your job to clear their misconceptions regarding this behavior. Explain to them calmly how reacting this way will only lose other people’s respect and make them drift apart. They will become a topic of mockery and eventually nobody is going to pay a heed to their opinions.
#5. They Run Low On Patience
Impulsive behavior is related to low patience in people. While driving or waiting in a line, such people tend to lose their patience and get into an unnecessary fit of range. Ask them to see a therapist and talk it out with them. If you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, then you can also take the aid of your loved ones and discuss matters with them as they are always there to help you find a solution to your problems.
#1. Talk It Out
Bad habits die hard, and people resolve to impulsive, rash behavior for a long time, sometimes they need a constant reminder to keep it in control. Being an important part of their life and vice versa, it is your job to talk to them about having adopted this kind of attitude and ask them to cut it out for good. Since it did not develop in a single day, you have to understand and keep patience on the matter and realize that this may take awhile to fade away as well. If you think that being verbally abusive with the people around you is something that is uncontrollable, share your feelings and discuss the problem with your friends and family to get a better insight of the problem. You can also attend popular anger management groups, something that has just recently blossomed and you can also join the support groups and communities.
#2. Indulge In Physical Activity
If you are way too stressed and your only outlet remains to be taking it out on your partner or loved ones, then it’s high time that you realize this mistake and not treat others around you as a scapegoat for your own failures in life. Get an outlet for this anger and take up activities such as gymming or exercising. Hitting the gym regularly will give your built-in energy a perfect outlet. You will hence become calmer and give your anger an outlet into something that’ll not only benefit you but your relationship with others as well.
#3. Seek A Professional
Have a look at what it might be that is forcing you to react this way. This might be due to your monotonous old job, relationship with your parents or stress regarding other external factors. If you are, for instance, unhappy with your job or in a dilemma and stress relating to your choice of career, then maybe you should seek a professional therapist on the matter to help you realize your true abilities and interests. When you decide to drop the grief in life; clarity, peace of mind and improvement in behavior is bound to occur!
#4. Deal With The Roots Of This Problem
If whilst reading this article, you have surprisingly realized that you might somehow be such a person, then you should give it a deep thought and deal with the root of what might be causing you to undertake this behavior. It might be anger towards someone from the past, unsuccessful attempts to achieve success in your life or simply no self-control on your peaking rage during a difference of opinion with someone. This behavior holds roots somewhere in the past pertaining to some unresolved issues that maybe you must confront and clear in order to achieve peace of mind for yourself. Introspect and opt for a critical approach to address issues which might have been supressed within you for a long time.
The effects of verbal abuse can be plenty. It not only affects your mental and physical health but also your relationship with the ones around you. No matter what your position or age is, talking to people gently will always make them listen to you. Verbal abuse can even lead to physical abuse, straining your relationship with the people who love you. It also causes self-doubt, insecurity, and depression which can take a toll on the person’s mind, body and health. If this behavior is not paid a heed or treated as soon as you spot the symptoms, it can even make the person suicidal or self- destructive.
If you or a loved one is suffering from this behavioral disorder causing him to vent out via verbally abusing people around him, don’t take the matter lightly and seek a professional help immediately! If you think this article was helpful, leave a comment and let us know what you think!
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