How to deal with a Controlling Friend?

All of us have friends in our lives who always try to get their way. They want us to do exactly what they say and get mad when we do otherwise. Most of the time, we oblige just because we do not want to escalate things but there comes the point when we can no longer bear being told what to do all the time. It’s not that we do not love spending time with them anymore, but it is just that there is a part of their behavior that they need to change.

Do you have a similar kind of person in your friend circle? Do you know how to deal with such personalities? No? Well, then no worries as we are going to tell you how you can handle your control freak friend. Here are some tips.

#1. Avoid Reacting To Their Behavior

One thing that all controlling people have in common is that they are always seeking reaction to their behavior and they do not respond well to criticism or resistance as well. For instance, if you get aggressive or mad at them for telling you what to do all the time, they backfire. Therefore, the best thing you can do when your friend is trying to control you is avoiding giving them any sort of reaction. However, if you find them crossing their limits, we suggest you calmly hold your ground and tell them what they are doing wrong.

#2. Try Empathizing With Them

While there are no excuses for behaving badly with your friend, it can be helpful for you to try to see where they are coming from. There may be underlying emotional issues that have turned your friend into a control freak, and understanding these can help you zero in on the best way to address their need for control. The origin of their controlling nature could be an overpowering parent or anxiety . Their nature could also be a result of a background that values certain behaviors.

#3. Never Get Into An Argument

Controlling people love power struggles and never give up in an argument even when they know that they are on the wrong side. All they want is to rope in someone into an argument and keep it going till that person admits defeat. The feeling of winning is a need that they just can’t get enough of. If you want to keep things calm and poised, never let the discussion get into an argument. Keep listening to them, nod your head, and wait for them to get tired of speaking all the time. There are only two possible results of getting into an argument with them; the first one is that you lose the argument and the second one is that your friend gets spoiled. Have your pick.

#4. State Your Basic Rights

Never forget your rights. We are not talking about the ones you enjoy being the citizen of your country, but the ones that you have while engaging in a dialogue with your friends. These are being addressed with respect, offered the opportunity to express your thoughts, have your separate opinions from the group and chance to say ‘no’ without the guilty feeling. If a situation arises when you see the person in front of you forgetting these rights of yours, then it is your responsibility to remind them. If you let a controlling friend treat you in a bad way once, they will probably develop a habit of behaving that way every time.

#5. Tell Yourself That You Are In Charge

What better way to deal with friends who try to control you than taking away the control from them? You may not be able to regulate the negative behavior of your friend but you can choose to how you react, and as a result, it falls upon you how you let them treat you. Thinking along the lines of ‘I am the in charge here, and it is up to me how I let others behave with me’ can give you the courage you require at these moments. Do things that assert that you have the control of the conversation.

#6. Establish Boundaries

You must have observed that your controlling friend is always trying to push the limits of the people around them as they enjoy knowing that they have broken someone’s barrier. When you feel something like this happening between you and your friend, be prompt about establishing the boundaries and making them understand what part of their behavior is tolerable and which one is not. If you do it once, probably they will remember the limitations of their behavior every time they interact with you again.

#7. Spend Time With Other Friends

If you want to give a subtle hint to your friend that you can no longer tolerate their controlling behavior, then start spending some time with your other friends. This will probably get them thinking that there is something that they have done to trigger this behavior and will probably come to understand what they need to change. Also, it is never good to let the opinion of one person narrate your self-worth. So, just keep a diverse group of friends to get positive reinforcements whenever you need it.

#8. Talk To Them About It

Your controlling friend probably does not want to hear how s/he is always annoying you with their behavior, but there comes a time when there is no other choice. If you have tried and failed to handle their controlling nature, then perhaps it is time you became blunt about it. Talk to your friend about how their behavior gets frustrating at times and that you need the freedom to choose what is right for you and what not. What you need from them in your weak moments is their support and not them telling you the way you should live your life. If your friendship has reached a breaking point where you are always annoyed by your controlling friend, a confrontation can be a good option.

#9. Limit Interactions With Your Controlling Friend

Sometimes, the best way to handle a controlling friend is to create some distance between you and them. If they still haven’t corrected their behavior after you have talked to them about it, then they need to realize that their actions can have consequences and you cannot compromise on your individuality. Hopefully, this will make them aware of their detrimental actions.

#10. Walk Away

Nothing says you have had it up to here louder than just walking away from the person. We understand that they are your friend and hurting or insulting them is probably the last thing that you want to do but there is a limit to which you can bear being controlled and if a strong and sturdy step is what you need to take, then walking away is what we suggest. There is a chance that your friendship might end but there is also a chance that they will realize what they were doing wrong. But whatever the outcome may be, you do not want to let anyone tell you what you need to do all the time.

So, this is how you handle a bossy friend. Did you like the article? Do you have any controlling friend in your life? How do you deal with that person? What do you think is the best way to handle friends who try to control you all the time? Share your thoughts with us through the comment box below. We absolutely love it when you write to us.

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