Being let down is never a good feeling, especially when the source of this disappointment is the people we call 'friends.' We make friends not just to have a good time with them, but they are also there to support us through our bad phases. We build expectations from them and these expectations are not always met. That is when we feel let down by our friends.
Has something similar happened in your life recently or does it keep on happening? Do you feel let down by friends every once in a while? Do you know what you should do in such moments? Here are some tips that can help you in situations when your friends let you down:
#1. Try Not To Take It Too Personally
The first thing you should do is try not to take this too personally. You needed your friends and they weren’t there to help you and now you feel hurt. Surely that is completely understandable but don’t you think your thinking is stained at the moment since you are going through something? When a person is going through a rough patch in life, it is too easy for him or her to become self-centered. Your problems, your situations, your life; that is all you think about! Undoubtedly it feels nice to have some people to rely on all the time but do you think that is really practical? Like you did not ask to be in this difficult situation, your friends didn’t either, and hence, there is nothing to be mad about when they are not there for you.
#2. End The Cycle Of Expectations
The reason that your friends let you down is not your friends, but instead the high expectations that you have from them. Maybe your friendship is not that strong right now that the people you call your buddies would come to help you when you need them. Or maybe you have high expectations from them. But whatever it was, the bottom line is that your expectations are the ones that are a cause of this hurt. You can take this betrayal as a learning lesson and lower your expectations from the people in consideration. When you are not expecting much from them, there will be nothing that disappoints you.
#3. Start Working On Other Alternatives
When friends let you down, you can easily slip into a sulking feeling. But rather than contemplating why nobody came to support you, you should divert your concentration towards working on the problem that you needed your friends’ help with. If your friends have not come to your rescue, then perhaps you should now start looking for some other alternatives so that the situation does not get worse than it already is. If you keep on thinking too much about your emotions, then you are going to keep on hurting and never be able to handle your problem in an effective and efficient manner.
#4. Try To See The Silver Lining
Every dark in our lives has a silver lining. So maybe you should start looking for positive aspects when your friends let you down. Several goods can come out of this. For instance, this could be an opportunity for you to deal with your problems without anybody’s help; a chance to grow and become a better person. Or, this was when you got to know who your real friends are, who was merely spending time with you for the sake of it. Whatever it may be, there is always something good coming out of every negative situation in life. All you have to do is keep a positive attitude even in the face of grieve difficulties in your life.
#5. Give Your Friends The Benefit Of The Doubt And Talk It Out
Well, your friends did not help you when you needed them. However, this does not necessarily mean that they did not want to either. There could be a genuine reason keeping them from coming to your aid. When you feel that you have been let down by friends, it is important to not rush to conclusions and give your friends the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they wanted to help you but could not because of some unavoidable circumstances that you are not aware of as of yet. And making up your mind about something severe as breaking up your friendship with them could be a mistake. Instead, you should ring your friends up to tell them how their actions or inactivity made you feel. You can ask for an explanation from them and tell them what might happen in future. But taking a decision without even talking once with your buddies could be a fatal mistake.
#6. Forgive And Forget
This may not be easy or something that you might want to do when you are mad at your friends, but if you think practically, it is a pretty decent option. It is not possible for even you to be there for somebody you love at all times since you have a life of your own. So, the same cannot be expected of your friends either. It is okay if you have been let down by friends but if you want to keep this friendship going or give your buddies a chance at redemption, you should simply forgive and forget what happened. It is of no use if you keep on holding grudges against your friends. It is okay if cannot forget what happened but if your plans are to keep this friendship going, then at least try to genuinely forgive your friends.
#7. Spend Time With Other Friends And Family
You have just been betrayed and it is okay to feel sad and gloomy for some time. But what is not okay is not even making attempts to get rid of these feelings of rejection. You can repose by spending some time with your family or other friends to take your mind off of the people who betrayed you and enjoy the company of people who make you feel loved. If you have been let down by one friend then that does not mean all the people in your life are going to disappoint you. You just made a mistake in choosing one friend. Plan a dinner or drinks as just a meet is enough to shoo the feeling away.
#8. Take A Break
The feeling of disappointment or being let down can get overwhelming at times since it is people you trusted the most who have failed to be there for you in the times of need. It is a betrayal that you never thought would come your way but it is what it is. A simple way to get over it is going on a break. Since you were already going through something and now your friends have also failed you, what better way to repose than to escape the cacophony of life and spending some time in a place that makes you feel alive? Pick somebody who makes you feel special or maybe embark on a solo adventure to find yourself. Head out to a beach destination for a few days or spend a couple of languid days amidst the mighty mountains; do whatever floats your boat.
#9. Try Being Grateful
It is undeniable that you needed your friends and they disappointed you. But what about the times when they left everything in their life and actually helped you? Like we said before, there could be a genuine reason why your friends had to leave you alone. Rather than focusing on what happened this time, try to think about the times when your friends were there for you.
#10. Make Better Friends
If every above-mentioned thing has failed to help you and your friends keep on letting you down over and over again, then it is the time that you make some other friends and surround yourself with better people. You can start bonding with your colleagues or get in touch with your old acquaintances. You can make friends even if you are an introvert. Just make sure that they are worthy of your friendship.
Tell us what do you do when your friends let you down. Do share your thoughts in the comment section below. We always look forward to your comments and opinions.