How to deal with Needy people at Work?

Do people often turn up to you whenever they have to get some work done? Are you the first person people think about whenever in need? Are you the all-rounder at your workplace? You are a kind person and you love to help people around you. You helped a few people at your workplace for which your colleagues appreciated you, and you modestly replied “anytime”. Now those people have taken your, “anytime” seriously and they appear suddenly anytime to seek your help.

It happens so many times that people need your help, but you cannot be available for every person. Not one, not two but the whole staff is looking forward for your help, and you cannot even tell them that you cannot help because they may take it as a wrong sign. They make think that you are being a nasty person or you have too much attitude. You want to help people, but you have your own work to do. And when you turn down to help someone you feel guilty of doing it because you think you have the left the opportunity to prove your reliability.

Who are these co-workers who always need your assistance? Are they needy? Do you have a clingy partner? What are the signs of a needy person?

#1. The person wants to be with you all the time. There is one person at your workplace wants to spend time with you all the time. During the lunch, when you enter the office and when you exit the office, they want to be with you every time.

#2. This person always seeks your validation. They will come to your desk asking if they made the right decision or not or if they are looking good or not. They constantly need your validation which can be annoying sometimes.

#3. They always ask for your opinion and advice. Whenever they have to make a decision or when they need an opinion on anything not even related to work, they will come to you for your opinion. Your opinion matters to them a lot. They constantly ask you about how you feel or think about them.

#4. You sometimes feel that they are a creepy stalker. They like and comment on every picture of you on the social media. They keep asking you about your whereabouts and what is happening in your life.

Now the thing is how do you deal with such a needy person? How to deal with a miserable person at work? Let us know how.

#1. Learn Refusal

You need to learn to say ‘no’ to people who need you every time because you have a lot of work to do. You should be able to tell the person without hurting them, and that can happen when you decide to follow what is more important for you then. Do not use words like “I may do it” or “I will do it.” Be precise about your decision and tell the person that you cannot do it. Making a clear statement will show the person that you really do not have time for them and that there is no space for the needy co-worker in your life. When you are clear about something, then that should be expressed with confidence because it shows your strong viewpoint and your loyalty towards the work.

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#2. Boundaries

You should set boundaries with the person you feel is needy at your workplace. Make sure that the person knows where their boundary lies, and if they cross it, then you may not be available for them ever again. If they stalk you over the media and it offends you then tell them that you are their colleague and that you do not involve your work life with the personal life. You need to set the lines for them which they should not cross. Not every person is allowed to interfere in your life about which you should make clear statements. If you find them stalking you, then ask them how much time do they spend on social media and how much work they did the whole day. Remind the person that they also have work to do.

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#3. Limit Interaction

If you limit the interaction with this needy person at your workplace, then there are chances that the person also understands the signs and stays away from you. Do not talk to them when you are working. Tell the needy person that you cannot talk because you have a lot of work. Talk to them if you think their problem is genuine. It can be very hard for the person who is being needy because such people lack confidence in their life and they need validation from other people. Therefore, do not avoid interaction altogether. Just put limitations on the time you spend with the person.

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#4. Confess

If you have had enough of this needy person coming up with lots of work and their personal issues, then confess your concerns to them. They should know that you have a lot of other work to do and if they need to discuss something personal, then they should find the right time and place for that. If this needy person is also emotionally needy, then inform the person that you cannot help them during working hours. At this stage, confession is the best strategy because you cannot find alternatives all the time to get their work and your own work was done.

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#5. Be Polite

In order to make things right, you will have to be polite with the person. Be polite with the person because they lack confidence and maturity to understand your strict behavior. Sound apologetic of not being able to spend time with them because you have other priorities. If you talk to them properly, they may understand that they are being needy. Since nobody wants to be known as a needy person, they will maintain the distance from you that day forward.

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#6. Apologize

You should apologize to the person who needed your help at work because you had promised everyone that you would help. Even if you did not promise to help, it is your duty as a responsible human to help others in need. You can tell them that you had a lot of reasons for not helping and that you regret not being able to help them. This way people will not create a wrong image of you, and you can still enjoy your position at your workplace.

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#7. Compromise

If you really want to help the person, then you will have to make a compromise. You can expect from the person to either help you at work, or you can ask them to wait till you complete yours. If you are ready, then you can compromise your work and give a helping hand to the needy person. Or you could formulate a way in which your work would get completed, and you could also help the person by making certain adjustments with the person. Suggest ideas in which the other person can make adjustments according to you. Negotiate with the person until you get to an agreement.

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