How to deal with Rude People?

Rudeness creates loathing, sometimes even self-loathing, wherever it exists. We are openly disrespecting other people when we are being rude to them. Despite knowing these people don’t always respect everyone they interact with, this contempt for others may stem from the feeling that others despise you or are below you, not talking a lot is one of the main factors of such disgust.

This aspect is more common in people who are short-tempered and are unnecessarily peevish about things. Work, home or even a social outing, they need things to be a certain way and are convinced that the space they are in is their private space. We know it is impossible to be pleasant at all times, however, if people are more bad-tempered than good-tempered then they will always be on the receiving end of their own discourteousness.  

Tips To Deal With Rudeness

#1. Set A Limit  

People can be rude to you for any reason, and if you don’t know the person, then it would be even harder to pin down their rude behavior. They may be tired after a long night or cranky from something going on in their personal life or just work pressure. These problems are common as one quickly resigns to calm behavior when they have achieved the satisfaction they were after. However, no one stays satisfied. Either they fall back to their previous level and begin the chase again or become hungry for more, not ready to stay where they are. Nearly everyone goes through this kind of a mental state, so only a few have the patience and time to be polite and kind. Everyone can act in a paranoid fashion when they are constantly attacked that time is running out so one needs to tell himself how much rudeness can he ignore from the other person? Once the limit is set the person will not react to everything that is said to this person and thinks of him as a cantankerous fool.  

# 2. Teach Them Compassion  

If a person is unnecessarily rude to you and treats you with utmost disdain in both words and manners you need to ask them directly why are they so ill-natured? No one likes to reflect on their past actions and associate them with condemnation from other people but some people who do get caught in the view that anything they do will be condemned and therefore withdraw themselves from acting. This is a seriously flawed approach as we cannot live without acting and the ones who have persuaded themselves to believe that daily one or more of their actions will receive condemnation are sure to be more grumpy than happy. These are the most difficult students of compassion as they have to shatter these self-imposed shackles and understand that no two people are the same so they will approve and disapprove of things from time to time. Treating them with smiles even when they disapprove of them can bring a change in their feeling and even if it does not, their bad mood won’t infect you with a similar one.  Remember that rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength so they have self-esteem issues which they are masking with anger and bad behavior, the only thing which will change this is compassion.

# 3. Address The Issue  

A lot of people grow up thinking that they don’t need to mind their manners. They can be outspoken and blunt at all times even when it is borderline rude. They need to be told that it is churlish and childlike always to treat people in a bad way. You need others to know that you want respect as a human being and remind them how they feel when they are treated in a less than human way as well. It could be that they are living in a setting where being loud and dismissive is common. Once you make it known that such behaviors are not proper, either they will be reserved about it in the coming days or not change it at all. If they do, you keep interacting with them, and if they don’t, you simply avoid them and limit contact if they cannot be avoided.  

# 4. Define Rude  

A lot of people don’t know what rudeness is and this doubt is ever growing fuelled by articles and news pieces which claim that even disagreeing is rude. Rudeness is when you degrade or debase someone to the point of humiliation or treat them with aggression lambasting something they think or do. You need to define what appears rude to you and when you are having this conversation, things will come up. Mild annoyances don’t always have to generate angry and rude behavior and talking about them will help you get them out of your system. This helps reduce rudeness as the irritation for these is no longer pent-up.  

# 5. Keep Calm and Help Them See The Bigger Picture  

Rarely people are in a crisis so what they do day to day is sure to cause them to be of ill-temper, and mostly the issues are petty. Things not kept a certain way, the mode of transport they commuted in did not come on time, or they got late. Rational thinkings go for a toss when people lose their cool and become argumentative while defending their anger. Keep calm to absorb all their fury and tell them the thing they are shouting about is over so move on from it politely.  

# 6. Warn Them  

The best thing to tell a rude person about his behavior is to warn them that they will lose their family and friends and end up alone if they continue on the same track. Being hostile towards anyone will not fetch you any favors from them and continue harping on a loop about something will cancel out what future welcomes. It’s okay to be angry for a moment but to practice that behavior regularly makes more people avoid you than ones who want to be near you. Realizing that they will be all alone if they keep on the same path will help them bring a change in their personality.  Tell them that their anger is not punishing others but is only punishing them. 

# 7. Tell Them It Can Be A Career Setback  

Anyone who doesn’t endear himself to his or her colleagues and is constantly unfriendly towards them, it will be more or less despised by his colleagues and superiors, even the ones who have just joined will not approach you. This will automatically give you the name of Mr. Cranky, and no matter how good you are at your job, the management will not be too eager to promote you and may even have your name on top of the people to let go if downsizing is in the picture.  

# 8. Empathize With Real Bad Experiences  

Some people turn bitter when they go through their first bad experience and have not received the sympathy of those around them. They don’t know how to deal with it and select bitterness as the common response in these situations. The terrible feeling after first bad experience promotes even a sense of tragedy apart from overwhelming grief and can scar people for life. One needs to tell the person that it’s over now and really over as they come back to being normal not using bitterness as a coping mechanism that is not helping them and the ones around them. 

# 9. Uncover Their Despair

Every man has some kind of despair seeded in the heart as men hope for too much and take up sometimes their entire life to get rid of the high expectations they set initially. The key to unlocking anyone’s heart is to pitch yourself up to them as a friend and someone who cares about their emotional well-being. This can help facilitate a change of heart for people who gave shelter to despair and became embittered themselves. Kindness creates more kindness and no person no matter how rude can turn heartless. Sharing instances of apathy and mistreatment will help the other person narrate such episodes themselves slowly weeding out the abuse they think they received. People do fall out completely out of sync with their feelings when they overthink and overindulge in anyone as a fine line separates all emotions.  

# 10. If All Fails Shout Back

Sometimes people don’t change their behavior no matter what you do, and enough is enough why should you put in any more hours than you already have in teaching them good behavior. Holler straight at them and in the same belligerent tone, treat them like they are beneath you and if they have ever abused you or used even thinly veiled obscene language tell them the same or worse. This will tell them that you are not here to absorb all that you throw at them and can even give the same outbursts of anger that make them feel insignificant and low. You can even mock them by imitating the way in which they say things and show them their style. This is sure to spark some thoughts in their head about the rights and wrongs of their behavior.  

We cannot like everybody, and everybody won’t like us, but that doesn’t give anybody any entitlement to disrespect anyone. If an argument arises, you should settle on the best course of action after talking. Being polite doesn’t take much but being rude does take it all.  

Let us know how you deal with rude people. Drop your comments below.

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