At some point, you just have to let go of what you thought would happen and focus on what is happening. You can keep lamenting only for so long till you get tired of your own whining and surrender to things that you cannot control. There are moments when we abandon rationality just because we are in search of applying something more than we already have to exert our dominance on more things.
It is greed to wish to exercise power and influence over a lot of things and at some point or the other a lot of us are consumed by this greed which when unchecked can drive us insane. All of us want only nice things to happen to us right from the start till we pass, we want a life of joy and comfort at least we conform to the same norm in our wishes but, in reality, when we achieve something we wish for we simply starting wishing for more.
#1. SafeGuard Your Pride
Pride, no matter how much back talk it receives, will never leave our nature and remain an integral part of it. All of us are conscious of our own dignity and know our shortcomings and strengths and it is very important that we heed our true worth instead of inflating our value or underestimating it. It is very difficult to gauge your true self-worth but it can be done if we are brutally honest with ourselves registering what we excel at and what we don’t so well. It is very important to lock your pride that you gained from a particular episode in your life so that you don’t view yourself as an accomplished man in other areas. This will help you not attack yourself over the areas you cannot control as your pride knows what it comes from and what it is indifferent to.
#2. Be Rational
It is tough being rational and judicious all the time as the seriousness it builds keeps the child in us at bay which is never a good idea. We live in an era of trends and short-lived success and this can lead us to chase hype which is never a good idea because the ones who chase hype end up with no substance. You need to simply ask yourself whether you can control this or not. We have a big need to exercise control over our surroundings so that we know that things are happening for us. This can mean controlling the behavior of others around us to our advantage or scheming to hurt others when they are against us, the rational approach will always ask you to respect other’s freedom and talk things out before you make a despotic attempt. You may control how much food you want to eat or which career to pursue but you cannot control a flight delay to arrive at a meeting that was scheduled earlier? When things happen to you, plan in advance what will you do if something like this happens again so that you are not as highly irked and practice calm in situations.
#3. Take A Step Back
Sometimes when you are invested at the moment and get all worked up about it, you tend to lose the real significance of the thing you are worried about. Taking a step back will remind you that it doesn’t matter as much in the long run and you will take this underwhelming experience in your stride and bounce back from it. Trust your resilience at all times as only troubled times prepare you for the coming years in which you are certain to fare better as you have already had a fall once.
#4. Step In Other People’s Lives
When something bad happens and you cannot block it out of your mind as you are too busy milking the sense of tragedy, you need to get involved in another person’s life so that you stop dwelling on your own. This provides that much-needed shift of perspective that is needed to stop you from coiling up in a corner and embracing your misery.
#5. It’s a SetBack Not A Disaster
You need to understand it very well, life is full of minor setbacks and people bouncing back from a loss to emerge victoriously. Loss and victory both don’t last very long so you just need to choose a war that you think is worth fighting for. We follow the example of a man closed in a prison cell when the people who held him hostage kept dripping a drop of water on his head from above and it was a drop of water dropping on his head nothing else but the man drove himself crazy about it and eventually banged his head against the wall knocking himself unconscious. We will get mad, we are bound to get mad all through our lives but the way we react determines us in the end. Setbacks happen all the time and so does success, so never unlearn the lesson that life is not just one moment but a series of moments.
#6. Analyze The Story You Tell Yourself
Often in our lives, we listen to the advice of a lot of people and hear what they have to say about things and what opinion they hold of us. We certainly replay these things in our mind when we are all by ourselves or even when others surround us but thinking that. We develop our little narratives and are greatly affected by them as they are the ones who determine our happiness and sadness. One who tells himself positive things never lets himself be morose.
#7. Figure Out The Body Signs
When you think you have lost all control or are in the middle of a storm that just doesn’t seem to last, notice the way stress manifests in your body and do a little dance or go for a short walk to counter this development. You can never be in a position where you cannot practice at least some degree of control over your emotions so keep this in mind to stop telling yourself you are nothing.
#8. Grow Your List Of Plan B’s
Welcome to reality, it has just thrown you out here in the open dismissing the utopian view you were holding dear. What to do now? You can either cry your heart out and lament that change is not coming or take your own life into your hands. The idealistic plan you had in mind about your life has crashed badly so add realism in your thoughts and make a different plan. The moment we think we need a full psychological workup, is the moment we need it the most; the key is never let that arise again after it has come out once and always make plans and their back plans for you never to let despair enter your life circle ever again.
#9. Perfection Is A State Of Mind
This is for those control freaks who want their life to be perfect and want to control each and every aspect of what they do and what they don’t do. Right from the start, their aim to make plans to achieve them and then make new plans- this is all that life lesson is all about for them and with every success, they convince themselves that they have no flaws. Certainly, it is good to hustle all the time but not dive deep into miserable depression when some of the plans don’t take off. One who maintains a view that our failed endeavors are perfect for their failure and the successful ones are perfect for their success one won’t fret too much about losing or gaining control.
#10. Live In The Present
Living in the present is all about going through the day with a certain ease and enlightenment. It takes a lot for our mind to not linger in the past and not hope too much for the future. Present ultimately will become past and future ultimately will become present and when this transition is happening naturally, the only thing you are worrying yourself about is the pace of your life and it takes a lot of personal convincing to understand that it is only your heart’s rhythm that races and dies and all the life inside you and in others is nothing else but a game of passion.
Share with us the ways in you deal when you cannot control the things which are happening to you. Drop Your Comments in the comment section below.
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5 Opinions
I was always disturbed about things globally and it was not just the situation of our country. Our
country was going in the right direction when we are talking about stronger gun control laws and
insurance covering birth control pills. This would have detracted people from committing wanton
killing and having unwanted abortions. I always believed that a nation can only progress when
people understand that unnecessarily hurting anyone won’t benefit them and all the money that
is in the economy should be taxed so that the government can improve life for the civilians in the
society. I thought everybody lost their sense of rebellion when they made the transition from
adolescence to adulthood but that was not the case. I had too much trouble at times blocking
the thoughts of world peace and why is this basic thinking not applied on a world scale? Why
are people going on shooting rampages ? Why is black money there in the economy ? Why are
countries defending them from other countries ? There are different cultural values but are all of
us too blind to see that we are just one ? How can people lose control of their life ? Isn’t
everything in our control. I had the view that the world is one and when we elect those who are
in power how can they assume a superior attitude and take actions out of their ego ? The whole
constitution should be designed in a way that says all of our each other’s servants in one way or
another so to poke fun at another’s expense over what he does is to poke fun at ourselves as
we can also assume the role they are playing and they can also perform the role we are playing.
I thought that we do this and everyone will be happy and no one will get hurt but I was so wrong.
People are paranoid about eating and they know the risk of accepting that they are just passing
through life as it can make one incapable of acting so they get always greedy for more and it is
this greed that is often their undoing as there is no end to it. I read something that evil is only
perpetrated by those who don’t take the time to think about good and evil and act just for the
sake of acting. Everyone does not think about the consequences of their action before acting
and sometimes people just get so caught up in a hole about things that they refuse to act at all.
It is very difficult to not act so I always act keeping my self-interest in mind and whenever a
conflict with someone else occurs I talk to resolve it feeding my impulse that I am in control of
my life and telling myself that this much control is all I can ever practice.