Transphobia occurs in people who become uneasy around transgenders. A lot of people have the belief that only two of the genders must exist in society and are emotionally disgusted at the sight of people who do not conform to this view that they have.
It is a very difficult transition that people have to make, as to make oneself sensitive to other people who they claim they don’t understand, take a lot of facts and talk. The fear of transgender people is perceived in a way where people think that they may say something hurtful to others or let them get in their head and lose the stubbornness about their own gender. Well, we cannot disobey the truth that we must love each other and not treat one and other with hostility to co-exist happily and co-existence is all about flexible views.
#1. Lose Your Obstinacy
A lot of people feel that they are headstrong and don’t need to change their opinion about things they encounter, and this strong-minded way can backfire when they are wrong about things. The most successful member of the society is the one who holds on the old just as long as it is good and grabs the new when it is better. You must have been raised in an environment where there was general agreement about transphobia and what others around you believed in became your yardstick for behavior. You will be pleased to discover that altering your mental attitude will alter your thoughts always steer your life as what you put in practice. Once you admit that you cannot be inflexible about anything as nothing stays permanent in this wicked world, you will never be obstinate about anything just sure till a point. Your strong-minded feelings that assert your own gender won’t change if you lose your transphobia as you are more than capable of having multiple views at once.
#2. Don’t Give Shelter To Hate
If you give shelter to hate, it will destroy you as it is corrosive in nature whereas love fills you with positivity and spreads to other people as well. There will always be things and people we shrink from and don’t fancy too much yet, we must develop a tolerance for them as well so that we never let hate to form a dark corner in our heart. Instead, reverse your thoughts whenever you feel like you are developing an intense dislike for something, put yourself in the shoes of the person you hate. This will help you know that they also hate things and your hatred is no more self-destructive than theirs, so the first step in eliminating it from both your hearts is to tell each other others than there is just a contrast present and it is nothing to hate.
#3. Initially Don’t Give FeedBack
A transgender will never be too vocal about himself/herself until they see respect from you in the form of silence. Giving early feedback can backfire and stop them from coming out of the closet. It is not very hard to discern that they are transgender, but it is hard to control yourself from saying what you think of them. If you say something like you have disguised your real self very well or you really look like you are a man or a woman will imply that you still don’t respect them for what they are. Talk about something else entirely which is in no way related to gender till they come around and confide in you about the difficulties they have had to put up with and how they finally came to peace with themselves. Now you can also talk on how you overcame your own fear of transgenders and the hardships you faced in the process.
#4. Tell Them That Being Cisgender Is Not As Big A Privilege As They Think
Cisgenders are opposite of transgenders and are people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. A lot of transgenders conform to the view that being a cisgender is better than being transgender. You need to dismiss this idea from their head by telling them that the male gender and female gender is attacked on their specific properties and sometimes just for being that as much as theirs. This will help them endear themselves to you and realize that there is no explanation for senseless abuse and the best way to dismiss it instantly is to dismiss it instantly.
#5. Handle It For Them Once
Whenever you encounter someone hurling abuses at transgenders or treating them with hostility, you must give them a good back talk so that they know better than to retake this tone. This retaliation will help them stop feeling vulnerable and boost their self-esteem. It is not always a good idea to ignore and avoid these slurs, and when you voice that you are offended, it will only stop you from thinking about why this person said that. You have reasoned with a lot of fools who have taken to this senseless abuse and have failed to correct their behavior. So, the best thing to do here is to make them feel the heat that they keep giving off and show them that you can also unleash anger to protect people from bias and blow them out of the water so that they shrink over what they said and not you and your friend. Phobia occurs when fear shrinks your confidence and speaking up for them will help you erase transphobia from your own mind and those of others around you.
#6. Live Their Life For A Day
There are many transgenders who only interact and are social with communities that consist of only their friends mainly other transgenders. There is no fear of being discriminated against as they all are alike and they really believe that they are alike when they feel safe with others. A lot of transgender youths experience homelessness and abandonment early on, so these communities play a significant role in re-establishing them. When you make this minor change in your social circle, they will see that they can also get out of their shell. Donating some of your old toys that you don’t play with or even buying them something new that they will benefit from are all positive actions.
Living their life only for a day will be the sincerest form of affection and care for them and show them your determination in proving that they are no less than you. Also when they reprise your role in your life, you need to tell people who have been around you to treat your friend just like they treat you. This will also help you remove your fear if there is any still lurking about transgenders and not make you too conscious about being around them since the ones you share your day with are practicing change themselves.
#7. Use The Pronoun They Prefer
The pronoun they prefer will be the one which is in agreement with the way they present themselves. Calling 'he' as 'she' and 'she' as 'he' can be deadly to chances of forming a good relationship with them. This will tell them you respect them and are flexible enough to accommodate anyone the way they like.
#8. Don’t Over-Apologize
‘I did not mean that’ is one of the most used phrases in the English language which tells us that people cannot talk all the time perfectly and things they say while joking or which are spoken in good intent can be taken wrongly by others. When you pass a remark that even remotely insinuates something that makes transgenders question who they are or degrades them in some way, just say ‘I am sorry’ and stop at that. Over-apologizing will trap you into speaking more things that will ultimately erase the feeling of resentment and make the apology worthless.
#9. Foresee What Will Put Them Off
Make sure you take them to a restaurant where the language is gender-neutral, and the restrooms just read as restrooms instead of men and women. This will not rekindle the hesitation they felt early on in their life and help in rehabilitating them. One way of having a firm heart is to not waver in anything you do, and this will give strength to your friend to be just the way they are. You will need to read the people around you very well before you introduce them to your transgender friend so that you only make those familiar who are not rooted in their transphobia.
#10. Discourage Extreme Measures And Views
Suicide Rates are very common among transgenders, and this has led many people to make stupid conclusions that they kill themselves because they really believe that they are worthless. These stupid views only get stronger when they have stories written to confirm them. This can make some vulnerable transgenders take extreme steps which may include surgery or hormone injections. What you need to do is tell them that people form prejudices when they become familiar with things and if they are breeding contempt then it’s their own fault, and you should not try too hard to rescue them as you risk breeding the same contempt. Keep your heart in the right place at all times and find hope and warmth in the view that it is your purpose to live and do good and block bad when you cannot prevent it.
Share your views with us and let us know how you coped with your transphobia before you finally released it. Drop your comments in the comments section below.
24 Opinions
5 Opinions
I was always afraid of trans-genders as I grew up in a household where they were severely
condemned and even seen not as human beings but something else entirely. Everyone in our
society oppressed them and the ones who started this practice were insecure and foolish so as
the population increased no one challenged this idiotic worldview and continued to purport it
only more strongly. I took to this and was never okay with people young and old being equally
mean to these social outcasts so I made sure my friends challenge the thinking of their elders to
have a more equal and just society. It was not at all easy as my friends mocked me for the same
and I was really sad about this happening because I just knew that this was not right. The more
it happened the more the rage within me seared and threatened to clash with these
conservative and conventional minds who did not have the sense to differentiate right from
wrong. I printed our flyers that I put in every house in my society inviting all the people for a
presentation and personally sought the support of few of my broad-minded friends who were
equally adamant in changing this silly and ostracizing view. It took me a lot of time myself to get
rid of my own fear and I wanted to show these people a response which shakes them to the
depths of their core and shames all of them for carrying this belief. I had to tread carefully as I
knew that the consequences of excessive shame can be disastrous and will bring more dissent
in the society than unity so I slowly started with little children embracing other little children
and then showed photos of them growing up and still friendly with each other. This was a good
way of convincing people that we can co-exist happily and banish some of the age old myths
that if you touch a transgender you become a transgender which had really arrested kids in fear.
Senseless discrimination had to leave our society and I am still grateful to the friends who
supported me in organizing this even which not only eliminated discrimination for trans-genders
but earned their respect back.