The colossal task of parenting is not hidden from anyone. The myriad accountability and onus on the parents are well above the measurable level. There comes a time in life when a couple gets settled and contemplate on treading the family way. With baby comes a great responsibility. People are on the horns of a dilemma when it comes to family planning. They are all at sea as to what to decide. All things germane to a relationship and baby are quite significant as they help you chart the course of your entire life. One cannot plan to have a baby just for the heck of it. The relationship between parents and children is sui generis, it is invaluable. The depths of this very relationship can barely be gauged.
People, however, sensible they seem to be, ostensibly, they go awry with their decisions of having a baby. You might have heard people expressing their predicament and bewilderment concerning the baby. It is not an uncommon phenomenon; we get to deal with it on a day-to-day basis. What really takes the cake is the right decision and the right time. Decisions are hard to make. However, desperate situations call for desperate measures. A couple needs to hem and haw a great deal before saying hi to a baby in their life.
Greeting a baby with open arms is a good idea, however, the pressure of handling a baby is fairly high. Couples are usually in the maze of confusion as to when to plan a baby. One needs to escape from the cycle of thoughts carefully and consider all the things affecting your and your baby’s quality of life. Given below are some of the pointers which will come to your rescue when you are uncertain about having a baby:
#1. Ask Yourself If You Can Love Someone More Than Yourself
A baby needs complete attention and a great amount of love and affection. If you are past the stage of being heads over heels in love with yourself, you can think of planning a baby. However, if you are still in the self-love zone, you need to rethink your decision to have a baby. The best time to have a baby is when you are way off from the narcissistic area and ready to give all you have to the child who you wish enters this world.
Parents dote on their children and go the extra mile for their happiness. When both of you are ready to love someone wholeheartedly more than yourself, you can decide to have a baby without second thoughts.
#2. Are You Ready To Face The Changes?
If you are all set to face the changes which will spring in your life due to the arrival of a baby, you can open your arms to greet the baby in your life. Some people face many problems after an unplanned pregnancy, and they get into a lot of trouble. They cannot adjust and acclimatize to the novel situations, and this adds insult to the injury. A couple should never take such decisions in haste. When you can allow changes in your lifestyle along with your partner, it is a green signal to welcome baby.
Parents have to tend to the needs of their kids, from the smallest to the largest. When you prepare yourself to go along with your partner in attending your child’s issues, you can change yourself according to situations, and this helps you to think about planning a baby without any reluctance.
#3. Are You Ready To Learn?
You learn with your spouse a good deal after having a baby. A couple learns a mélange of things when the baby arrives in their life. Introducing changes in your life teach you a number of things, and over time you learn how to deal with your baby. No one knows the trick to manage a baby, everyone learns from experience over some period that gives them knowledge as to how to do things in an order suitable for the baby, which results in the personal and mental growth in the bargain.
When a couple feels like acquiring new habits while learning things in the process, you can think about planning a baby. If at all you have qualms surfacing regarding your habits and learning, you can wait for a while as it is completely okay.
#4. Can You Take Good Care Of Yourself?
The lethargic attitude of people causes a lot of problems, and sometimes people cannot so much as taking care of themselves. A man or a woman who cannot manage his or her own affairs manages to complete tasks at the eleventh hour, roams around here and there without even considering his own state of being cannot be expected to give time and attention to a baby, leave alone take good care.
If you happen to be a punctual and disciplined couple who manages everything with great dexterity and skill and even help the spouse in doing the same, the odds are you’ll make good parents, and probably it is the right time for you to sing the lullabies to your baby.
#5. If You Really Want To Have A Baby
Couples do not always state a good reason when they are asked about their decisions for having babies. They simply express their desire of assuming the roles of parents and inviting a new member to give them happiness and joy. It is entirely up to you and your choices; you can decide to have a baby at any point in time if you are comfortable with your partner.
The desire of having a baby at some point in time crops up naturally. A couple does not have to make efforts to ignite that particular desire. For couples who want to live their life and party-hearty for a little more while after marriage or relationship can rest and wait. It is absolutely unnecessary to give in to the pressures around you. When you really wish to want the jingles and toys in your house, you can jump on that bandwagon joining the parents’ league.
#6. When You Can Make Sacrifices
We all have sacrificed something or the other in life. Also, we do things for our vested interests but to do things for someone other than your own person is what counts. Mothers, being the embodiment of love, sacrifice, and generosity, make a lot of sacrifices. It can be said about the fathers as well. Parents try to create opportunities for their kids no matter what. Therefore if you are willing to make sacrifices in your life, starting from the tiniest thing, to satisfy your child or even your own pleasures and interests for that matter, you can decide to have a baby after talking to your spouse.
#7. When Your Spouse Is Ready
Many a time your partner does not want to hurry to become a parent, but you feel like donning the hat of a parent. This creates a big problem; one cannot force one’s decision on the other simply because of the relationship you are in. The mutual consent is very significant, if you both are on the same page regarding the baby, you can discuss and clear your doubts. Never assume things on your own. Discuss with your partner and talk openly about parenthood to them so that they can share their viewpoints. It is important to respect each other’s decisions else things would wind up in a mess we cannot even surmise.
If your partner is along with you in every decision, you can easily mull over this and prepare for the celebration and the subsequent happiness.
#8. If You Can Shower Love
Some couples are occupied within their own lives that they do not have the time to spend moments with each other which is downright unfair and rude. What if you decide to have a baby and do not care for him or her, leave alone shower love? Everybody wants love, be it a kid or an adult. If you don’t get love, your life gets withered away. A couple must keep in mind that they need to prepare themselves to love a kid unconditionally forever if they plan to have a baby.
Once you are sure about your capacity to love, you can certainly allow a third person in your life with whom you wish to spend and savor your life.
#9. Are You Financially Sound?
It is futile to plan a baby if you are in the grips of a financial crisis. Love is important, but money plays a great role too. Kid's future is decided by how well you spent on his education. Some couples, go for a baby without even considering the financial status of a family. You should not plan your baby in reduced circumstances by a long shot. Your child will not only face repercussions, but you’ll also end up in a state of mental imbalance. There is no panacea after the baby arrives and the troubles assume big proportions are making the situations for parents and the baby all the worse.
When you decide to have a baby when you are well settled and financially strong, you decide to have a good and satisfied life with your baby. Money doesn’t solve all problems, but it solves many, no doubt.
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Baby is a very huge responsibility for parents. A couple should think ten times before planning a baby. A couple needs to be mentally prepared for this. If your partner does not feel like taking the responsibility of being a parent, please wait and then plan for the baby. Do not do anything in hurry as it can have negative and grave consequences. Once you are done with everything, then think of having a baby. Please make sure you are ready to take the responsibility of someone, and that too a baby who needs extra care, attention and love. If you are willing to shower love and care as a couple you can open your arms and welcome a baby in your life. Sometimes, parents are themselves immature and too young and they take things for granted. The results are extremely appalling and they cannot bring themselves to devote their time to someone. A baby is very little, and like the article says everyone needs love in this world. Love only multiplies when you share it. A baby needs complete attention and unconditional love from parents, especially mother who spends all her time with her baby. Therefore, do not rush and think patiently as to what is the right time. When you both decide together with your consent to have a baby, that would be the correct time. I planned my baby after five years and was very much sure about my decision as I was mature enough to manage my baby and the duties that came with it. Moreover, I made my mind regarding my capacity of love and my devotion of time. A baby needs a lot of time and parents need to understand this. I was totally occupied after the arrival of my baby. I just couldn’t pay attention to my work and I took a leave from my office as well. Managing everything was super difficult, and I was totally lost. With the support of my husband and family I managed everything quite brilliantly and my baby will turn 3 years old now. A good approach and a pragmatic one at that worked wonders for us. ad we decided for a baby in the early years of our marriage, I would have probably been in a different mental state now. You have to become responsible and accept the fact that you need to attend to your child and his or her needs. Once you learn that you will surely know the appropriate time for having a baby. If you happen to be prepared by all ways, you can definitely move forward towards the family way and fulfill your desires of being a parent. Everyone wants to be apparent after a certain point of time, however, people must realize that it should not be done in haste just to don the hats of parents. It is much more and the life completely changes. You learn, grow and change. With all these things incorporated in your life, you get a new perspective of life and love of your baby, of course. So, relax, ponder on it and then have a baby.