"Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say. But if you aren't being open to constructive criticism, you aren't truly growing as a person." - Unknown
It is pretty hard to feel all warm and happy on the inside when our Instagram story gets a mere two views in the past 22 hours, let alone the negative feedback that we get from our superiors! But to be successful in life, it is important to accept being criticized both personally as well as on the professional front.
However, there is no better feeling than being able to hear opinions what other people have about us and also be capable enough of improving on those points. But, on the other side, how to handle the criticism is something that we as humans do not contemplate.
This is how you can kill your fear of accepting criticism without even shedding a tear of sorrow.
#1. Criticism Does Not Mean You Aren't Good Enough
Yes, criticism definitely feels like absolute rejection! Criticism feels like this thing is just about you and it is not good enough. But try to understand the difference here - rejection is what we really are scared of, but criticism is just a vehicle to carry it. It makes you think that you are not worthy enough and that you do not belong to the situation. It becomes like a fatally exposed wound which keeps aching time and again. You cannot handle the emotion of being worthless, and you may want to just might disappear. But, comprehend the fact that criticism is an external aspect whereas the fear is internal. You are enough, and you are worthy of each act that you do. Instead, ask yourself how would you respond and not react in the situation as a whole?
#2. Each Act Attracts Both Appreciation As Well As Criticism
You should always understand that admiration is not a permanent phase. Each of your acts attracts both appreciations as well as criticism. So, do not let that stop you from trying to do things in the best of your capacities. Learn from what people advice you and keep moving forward. Someone has rightly said that we would never grow up if we wish to ignore looking towards the other side. Everything that happens to us has some hidden or apparent lessons. So, always keep in mind that everything that is worth doing involves both recognition as well as rejection!
#3. Seek Not For Approval But For Improvement
This is the best philosophy to adopt when you want to overcome your fear of being criticized. Make sure that you are not steering away assuming the criticism to be a social rejection. Instead, make sure that you are drawn towards it as a cradle of insight. Start considering the positive and productive side of criticism rather than accepting it as a flaw. Help your own self in finding the newer you and do not focus on your insecurities. You don't have to seek anyone's approval but seek for the ways in which you can improve.
#4. No Avoidance
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” - Aristotle
This quote holds utmost significance when it comes to criticism. The strategy of avoidance is actually pretty damaging than you can even think of. The escapism theory is of no use as it makes you weaker in dealing with life situations. You somehow start withholding yourself from the worldly gifts. Therefore, do not let any sort of fear surpass your desires to reach the ninth cloud. Acceptance is one essential key which you always have to keep with yourself. Because when you cannot accept the circumstances, how will you ever be able to change them in any way?
#5. Evaluate The Intent
Criticism is either intended towards hurting your sentiments and bringing your self-confidence down or is focused on helping you reach the higher standards. So, even before you allow yourself to be fearful of the situation, make sure that you identify the intent of the reviews you have received. If it is hurtful, remember that the same is not about you but the other person. You are not the target, but it is about the other person's own inadequacies or fears. Under such circumstances, the other person projects his/ her own fears. They carry this practice out by tearing you apart as they aren't capable enough to build their own identities. However, if it is about the former intent, it is time for you to consider it as a positive feedback and start working towards building your own individuality.
There also are hybrid situations where the criticism isn't really helpful but is given out with that particular intent. So, take it as a piece of information that is just being delivered to you!
#6. Prevent The Swelling If You Cannot Control The Sting
Dealing with criticism isn't everyone's cup of tea. Even the greatest minds can get affected by the sting in those initial moments. However, it is totally up to you how you manage to avoid the swelling. The way you react will eventually determine whether you will be able to prevent the inflammation or you will let it affect till the very end. Whatever may be the case, you just don't have to overreact or be over-emotional. Understand it this way, the criticism is not a personal attack on you, but a way of telling that you need to improve your work or attitude. So, you are the one responsible to control the pain you attain from criticism. You can definitely change the meaning of the words thrown at you and rise above those!
#7. Determine Who Really Gets To Criticise You
Not all the criticisers are made equal. And that is why a few should not even have a seat at your table. Therefore, you need to set the criteria and also determine the action to ensure that cut so as to mentally dismiss the rest of the tensions. For such kind of shortlisting, mentors are the ones you can particularly take advice from. They are the ones who can help you overcome this fear as well as provide a safe environment for taking criticism. This way, even you will realize that situations become less frightening and over the time, you know how to deal with criticism in a positive manner.
#8. Do Not Take It Personally
The moment you start taking things to the heart is when your fears start hindering your way to success. So, the best way to manage your fear of being criticised is by removing yourself from the situation and focus on what is being reviewed. That failed presentation just doesn't fail your A+ personality. Rather than assuming it to be your fault, take it as a lesson to work harder next time on the skills that would bring out the best. Maybe the presentability wasn't your kind of thing, so that is what you need to introspect. Feedbacks are essential; they help you rectify the mistakes you otherwise would not be able to analyze.
#9. Listen And Respond Calmly
Whether the criticism is rude or constructive can only be identified if you are ready to listen properly. If the criticism is helpful, make sure that you lend your ears to learn instead of getting defensive. Similarly, when you are ready to listen well, make sure that you are also ready to respond smoothly. No matter what happens, you don't have to be disrespectful. Thank someone if the feedback has been helpful to you in a big or small way. But, in case, the critics were a total crap, do not forget to even kill them with kindness. Smiling does not make you inferior!
Liked what you just read? Want to read more such inspirational stuff? Or would you like to share any of your personal experiences or opinions? Let us know through the comment section below. We would love to hear from you!
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