The bond of friendship is unlike any other in the world. We do not get to choose our parents, brothers or sisters, but friends are people who we choose to spend time with and have a mutual affection with. Our friends are the people who support us in all situations and root for us no matter what. Friends and friendship fill a hole in our lives that nothing else can.
There is no denying that having friends, especially good friends, is a blessing, but there are some terrible things that can spoil it. The thing we are talking about is jealousy. Jealousy in friendship can be root to resentment and bitterness in the relationship.
Jealousy has been defined as an emotion associated with the feeling of fear, insecurity, and envy, all of which have no space in friendship. Jealousy and envy are among the most useless and negative yet common emotions that almost all of us have.
They say that you have no control over your emotions but we say you do. Jealousy does not have to be the thing that comes between you and your friends, and merely by practicing a few simple steps, you can overcome jealousy in friendship.
Do you feel that envy and jealousy have become a part of your friendship? You do not have to sit on your hands, watching the situation go from bad to worse. There’s a lot you can do about it to save your friendship and keep your friend. Here how you stop jealousy in friendship.
#1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Your Friend
The first thing that you need to do to remove jealousy from your friendship is stop comparing yourself or your life to your friend or his life. Everybody in this world is unique in themselves, with their own strengths and talents. In your life, you will always find someone who is better, richer, smarter, prettier or more talented than. If you keep hating everyone for their accomplishments, then you will end up with a very few people in your life, who do not even inspire you to achieve more. If there is one person in the world you should ever compare yourself to then it is who you were in the past.
Comparing yourself to your friend, or for that matter, anybody in the world, to evaluate your self-worth is something that will never let you win. You will never reach a point where you are better than somebody in every single respect. Learning from other people’s talents and skills is a part of what makes life interesting. So, instead of focusing on how to be better than somebody at something, concentrate all your energy on how to be a better version of yourself.
(Image Courtesy: All4Women)
#2. Appreciate Your Friend For Their Success
Your friend’s accomplishments do not have to be a cause of envy. If they are, then you need to change the way you look at things. Friendship is about supporting each other and helping one another to find more success in life and what you are doing is exactly opposite of that. Forget your friend; you should, in fact, stop hating and start being happy for other people’s success. Rather than filling yourself with resentment and discouragement, let someone’s success spark the hope for you to achieve the same or even more success in your life.
They say fake it till you make it. Perhaps you can pretend to be happy for your friend’s success till the time you actually get there. It’s okay. We understand that it is not going to be possible to remove jealousy from your friendship in an instant. That is why we urge you to only make-believe it, and in no time you will realize that the feelings you were once faking have become genuine and that you are now actually happy for your friend. Remember, you don’t want to let these negative thoughts to add to your bad Karma (https://askopinion.com/is-it-true-that-what-goes-around-comes-around).
(Image Courtesy: Think Link)
#3. Consider Your Insecurities Rather Than Your Friend
More times than not, the reason for us being jealous of our friends is our insecurities. The way to dealing with your insecurities begins with figuring them out and turning them into your strengths. It could be difficult for you to examine your flaws, so it would be better if you took the help of a confidante, someone very close to you, who you can trust to tell you the truth. Keep a positive mindset finding the things that make you insecure and do not forget that with just enough time and effort, these can be converted into your strengths.
(Image Courtesy: Classroom)
#4. Work On Your Self-Esteem
If you want to stop jealousy in your friendship, then you will have to work on your self-esteem. How you go about doing so is recognizing your strengths and the things you are good at. A good way to keep reminding yourself of these is actively engaging in these things on a regular basis. You could keep a list of all the compliments you received in the past week and read them at the time you feel insecure. Jealousy is typical because of low self-esteem, so that is where you need to work.
(Image Courtesy: Smooth)
#5. Forget About Your Friend And Be Content In Yourself
Becoming jealous of somebody is quite easy; what’s difficult is finding happiness in yourself. The feeling of being inadequate gives rise to jealousy in friendship. You start to feel that you will never be able to achieve what your friend has and become envious. When your self-esteem (https://askopinion.com/sports-plays-a-big-role-in-building-self-esteem) is based on external factors like popularity and the potential to earn, it tends to crumble quickly as these aspects appear to be fading away. Keep reminding yourself that you are capable of love, attention, and respect.
(Image Courtesy: Za News)
#6. Explore The Cause Of Jealousy
To stop being jealous, it is important to find what is causing the feeling to originate. It may appear that you are jealous of something superficial, but if you delve into it, you will realize that the feeling is rooted in something specific. You could be jealous because your friend is prettier than you or you do not have the confidence that they exude. Before you can overcome jealousy in your friendship, it is imperative to find the cause of it.
(Image Courtesy: Greatist)
#7. Admit To Your Friend That You Are Jealous
At this point, what you need to do is confess to your friend that you are jealous of them. Acknowledging your feelings will help you deal with them better. Discuss what makes you jealous and try to find the solution to this problem together. Your friend will admire you more for confessing your feelings and trying to overcome the jealousy.
(Image Courtesy: Bustle)
#8. Communicate Openly
You would be surprised to see how effective communication is. Sometimes, talking is all we need to find the solution to our problems. We urge you to be honest, but not to project your feelings onto them. Make sure that the statements you use here are about you, and not your friend. You being jealous has nothing to do with your friend, and this is your problem that you are going to have to fix yourself. Also, another thing to do is encourage your friend to share their feelings. Talking about yourself may make you feel a little too vulnerable so urge your friend to say their feelings as well.
#9. Focus On Why You Were Friends In The First Place
By you, admitting to your feelings, especially to your friend, is a sign that you wish to keep the friendship. For that, try to focus on why you guys became friends in the first place. Perhaps the two of you just haven’t got the time recently to enjoy your hobbies and interests together, and that is precisely the thing you need at this point. Focus on the things that brought you closer in the first place; the things that you liked or loved about your friend. Ponder your favorite memories together, and question yourself what you value more, the jealousy or the friendship.
(Image Courtesy: Girls Gone Strong)
Well, this is how you stop jealousy in friendship. Liked what you read? Tell us through your comments in the dedicated box below through your comments. Also, share with us other tips that you think can help dealing with jealousy in friendship. Have you ever been jealous of your friend? Share your thoughts with us. We would love to hear from you.
(Featured Image Courtesy: The Praying Woman)
Share
