It is a human tendency to give importance to self and lap up all that is dished out to them in any form. We see ourselves superior and a tad bit above others which makes us condescending and vainglorious to a certain extent. When we form too high an opinion of oneself, we tend to drag ourselves into a mire of egoism. This is the provenance of all the issues that give rise to misunderstandings between people which further cause great damage. The relationship thread, in turn, turns weak. It is important to see ourselves from other’s perspective.
Viewing ourselves through our own lens is passé. We must see ourselves from the perspective of other people so that we become aware of what we actually are. Such a perspective will lend weight to what is tangible and the part that is substantial – the one that matters. When we revel in our own opinions and perspective, we always project ourselves as an epitome of goodness. Our mistakes, chinks in the armors are always taken for granted by us. People fail to get au fait with their Achilles Heal and see the world through their red-tinted glasses only to view the world as per their wishes and convenience. We must wear the shoes of others in order to know the real us, our actual flavor. It will help us know the person we are and where we lag behind.
Human beings become narcissistic and lack self-awareness and regard themselves correct in every situation. We need to check this attitude and curb this habit in order to derive a real picture that defines us in every which way. Given below are some of the pointers in which you can see yourself as others see you and get over yourself:
#1. View Others As Your Looking-Glass
Every person is different and we all vary in our taste, choices, and preferences. We all have positive and negative traits, the good and bad side in us. However, we tend to highlight our good side instead of bringing the negative part to the fore. This tendency leads to a state of mind where we feel we are better than others and what we do is always correct, be in anything. However, we don’t really know what the other person thinks about us in any situation.
Sometimes you don’t like the attitude of people around you and express disgust through various forms either by being silent or resorting to some actions. Therefore others too judge you the same way and form views about you. See where they are wrong, do their actions hurt you? Put yourself in their shoes and start perceiving things from their angle instead of doing things on your own assuming them to be good for all occasions.
#2. Know That There Are Reasons How People Think Of You
No one talks about another person just for the heck of it. There needs to some reason on the basis of which you are praised or criticized. Do not think that people hate you without any rhyme or reason. It might be some misdeed or terrible mistake in your past which forced them to treat you unkindly and in an incongruous manner.
When people see you as someone sanguine, you feel good around them as they talk good things about you. However, if you feel like a fish out of water in their presence and even in their absence, you got to do something about it. One should place oneself in the situation which is different from his or her own and then try to comprehend the entire matter. Things will become relatively easy for you as you can cut your own image and see things afresh.
#3. Understand You Get Your Best Reflection From The Person You Hate
The person you abhor can put the right picture of your personality before your eyes. It is only the person you loathe, who can show you the mirror as they know the worst things about you and probably knows where you are wrong. The person at the receiving end knows the reasons behind your behavior and conduct and your entire sense of being. When you hate someone, he or she notices it in your behavior and get an idea what kind of person you are.
We always feel that the other person is creating problems for us without acknowledging our hand in the troubles. Once you realize the importance this person has in your life, you can actually start working on yourself and see yourself as him or her.
#4. See Yourself From Others’ Lens Throughout Life
This should be a regular exercise. It should not be a weekly or monthly affair. If you place yourself in someone else’ shoes just for a short period of time, the results would be fleeting and temporary which will fade over time. However, if you continue this habit and do not judge people unnecessarily and try to think from every side without emphasizing your own emotions and circumstances, you can lead a good and peaceful life.
The moment you decide to carry this throughout life, you would get a positivity in life and brush up your skills and your bad side would probably atrophy to an extent.
#5. Ask Someone To Help You
People are often perplexed as to how to solve this issue and get over the self-image idea in order to receive their realistic and true picture. Family and friends can come to your rescue. You can talk to anyone who you feel comfortable with and discuss your problems. Any close friend of yours can help you overcome this trouble as he or she knows everything about you. Well, they can put you in different situations and ask you to offer suggestions or statements as per the circumstances. Such a strategy would prepare you for the best and worst and impromptu situations.
A friend you trust can help you in self-examination as you can openly ask them about your patterns of behavior and the ramifications it brings. For instance, you can say things spontaneously to a friend imagining a situation and then ask your friend to react on it. The reactions will state how the entire thing rolls, how others fell or what you go through.
#6. Communicate With People You Don’t Like
You have to gel with people who are not in line with your thoughts. Gathering with an altogether different tribe is a little tough, but if you have to see yourself as to how others see you, you have to join them and ask them to discuss things they do not like about you. Moreover, you will naturally know what has kept you away from them. The entire make-up is different, and this difference will tell you what others think about you. Interacting with people you don’t want to chat with can help you know your strengths as well.
When you despise someone, you tend to find fault with them, and all their good things look bad to you, this is the portrayal of the set of people who are not your type and does not go with your personality. However, they can let you know about their choices, and you can probably think about each one of them and try to see things from their eyes. Maybe the things are clearly and entirely different from what you think about them or what they think about you. Hence, communication is very necessary.
#7. Be Honest With Your Own Self
Do not deceive yourself with false thoughts regarding your own nature. Be true to yourself and see where you are wrong. Acknowledge all your traits – be it good or bad. If you keep on putting a veil on your bad sides, you will never come out with it and always labor under delusions. You should rather work hard to improve yourself so that people admire you and follow in your footsteps.
#10. Indulge In Listening To Others
Sometimes we don’t listen to what the other person says and keep on repeating our words ad nauseam which is downright wrong and rude. One must get into the habit of listening to the other person carefully so that you can reflect deeply on what others are trying to say or explain. When people listen patiently to others, the perception of others as well as self- are unfolded realistically.
We blame others and rest the onus on others in order to justify our undesirable emotions and feelings. You can only discuss things if you are willing to listen to others and give them the chance to put their thoughts forward.
#11. Ask People To Give You Honest Feedback And Jot It Down
Whoever you are with, make sure you convince them to give you an honest, clear and a true feedback germane to your behavior, actions, deeds, misdeeds, conversational tone or anything for that matter. When people give you honest responses, you are given a portrait of your self which you may or may not like, but you will have to accept in order to see yourself as others see you. Once you receive an unbiased and true picture of yourself, you can analyze things and reflect on your attitude and behavior.
Also, you can make a journal and jot down things so that you don’t forget.
Now that you know how you can see yourself as others see you, you can pitch in your opinions in the comments. We would love to hear from you.
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