How to Stop being Socially Awkward?

904 Views Updated: 14 Oct 2017
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How to Stop being Socially Awkward?

A lot of people feel anxious in social settings, and this can make them shun out all interaction with the fear of being judged and ostracized dominating their thought pattern. There have been moments in everyone’s life when they have felt like they are being left out. It could be when two people are talking, and they are not involved. The ones he/ she is with may not deliberately exclude that person and are just speaking to each other to discuss something that includes only the two of them.

Withdrawing oneself from society will only increase one’s anxiety as when we are alone, our past is with hand’s reach and over thinking on it can be insanely agonizing. All of us act self-consciously at one time or the other and become troubled over the silliest of things which damaged our relationship and self-esteem. In such moments, it is essential to quiet the mind and just focus on what’s important.
 

Things That Are Essential To Stop Your Social Awkwardness  


# 1. Know The Centre And The Edge  

All human beings come under the sphere of life and are born with a certain level of consciousness that grows and shrinks as they keep living. Living in the center is all about feeling the attachment towards your fellow men and experiencing life as it is- eating, breathing, sleeping and walking. A lot of time people get bored of these things, and they ask more from their life. It is okay to ask more from life, but one must understand that they cannot make a big impact all of a sudden. Making a big impact takes time and planning, and the ones who lose their heart because they had not made any impact when they did not plan it at all are behaving naively. This disappointment takes us away from the center of our own life and while on edge we become disillusioned. 

Disillusionment is also of two kinds, and both these take place when we have traveled far away from the edge.  The first kind being the idealistic disillusionment in which we wish to rejoin the center and this time do it better than we did before which is a ridiculous idea since we cannot make big changes to us. The things we are born with are on display in our first tryst with life in the center. The second kind is cynical disillusionment where we are doubtful whether anything will happen other than living in the center and have a negative view of the center itself. 

It is difficult to live in the center with a positive attitude at all times as within us, we carry these two polarizing extremes of utopia and dystopia when all there exists is a reality. All of us get to the edge in our life at some point or the other, but it is critical that we tell ourselves that life is better in the center and what we are doing and how we be are the only two aspects we have to give constant care.


# 2. Don’t Chase Views

A sure way to destroy one’s self-esteem is to keep thinking what other people think of you and make yourself timid and scared about the views you generate in their mind. Do this a lot, and you become terrified of negative opinions about you crushing yourself under the weight of expectations both yours and theirs. The question you need to ask yourself is how can what they say matter more to you than what you think about yourself? Maybe they are on edge at the moment and are grappling with the same struggle to live in the center. You have to carry the authoritative attitude that what you are doing and the way you are is enough to make you happy.

# 3. Talk To Yourself

Talking to oneself is very important when one is going through periods of doubt and hesitation.Your sense of ease runs the risk of constantly being disrupted by a lot of people around you who say negative things. It is important that you steer clear of their thoughts and not allow them to get in your head. Upholding one’s self-esteem and maintaining a positive attitude is done by talking to oneself and elevating to a level which negativity doesn’t touch.


# 4. You Are Not One Final Moment But A Series Of Moments

Every one of us has one mortifying experience or another which can make us feel terrible when we recall it and make us more reserved about our conduct. There is a thin line between enjoyment and over-enjoyment, boredom, and shame. All of us want to have nothing but positive experiences since our inception till we pass away but it is not the case for all of us. Sometimes we lose out to happiness that others get, and it’s okay because it doesn’t diminish us in any way. One has to keep one’s heart in good condition at all times so that it doesn’t lose the ability to hope for more happiness than it has.

# 5. Forget The Interactions That Did Not Come Good

During our life, we have plenty of interactions that do not blossom into friendships. It is okay to let them go and bury them instead of continually reliving the agony of not turning them into meaningful bonds. You need to understand that everybody won’t like you intensely and you won’t like everybody profoundly as well. Keep valuing the interactions you do have so that you are always emotionally invested in your present keeping the demons of past and future at bay.


# 6. Don’t Over-Familiarize Yourself With A Person

One habit of socially awkward people is that they have a voice in their head continually telling them they are not okay that their conduct is not acceptable and people don’t approve of them. All these thoughts are a burden to carry and can force you to express yourself too much to a stranger in the hope of establishing trust immediately. Your approach here should be to ask only a couple of questions politely and then reply when they ask you something about you. Don’t sit cross-armed or cross-legged as they can convey disrespect instead just sit back and give them a real smile from time to time.

# 7.  Laugh With Everyone

Time and Again people like having fun at the expense of others. It may be something like walking in a funny way, leaning more on the right leg or emitting noise involuntarily that makes everyone laugh. Don’t take these things too seriously as you have not repulsed anyone but given them a break from their seriousness. Remember that we want to live in each other’s happiness, not in each other’s misery.


# 8.  Build Confidence

A lot of people who are socially awkward shy from interaction because they have yielded to fear and insecurity. One has to acknowledge that we cannot help the things which have already happened to us but what we can do is influence our attitude towards these things. If we recollect a particular activity, we undertook and did not excel at we just need to take it up again so that we do better and remove the damage done to our self-esteem instead of that activity. Why do this? Because we have already allowed it to influence us and time and again we get obsessed with it negatively. 

The way to cancel this negativity is simple to understand we get obsessed about it still and succeed. It’s okay if you do not achieve and become the best at it but even doing it will banish your insecurity. Get obsessed about it again and succeed.  Because we have already allowed it to influence us and time and again we get obsessed with it negatively. The way to cancel this negativity is simple, to get obsessed about it again and succeed. It’s okay if you do not succeed and become the best at it but even doing it will banish your insecurity.

# 9. Every Place Can Be Your Zen Place

A lot of people convince themselves that they need to confine themselves to their room or a particular place that increases their spiritual power and keep negativity at bay. This belief throws them off when they receive an invitation to a party or have to be a part of a social gathering because they feel their spiritual power will be threatened. It’s important that they tell themselves that people don’t always talk about their happiness at a stretch and frustration and disappointment does seep in when they are talking. This should be taken as normal and not something that causes you to become negative yourself.


# 10. Cry Always Cry For The Pain You Cannot Overcome

Sometimes we just cannot help ourselves for what life does to us. This inseparable part of us can damage us and threaten to destroy the peace we can put in our life. The realization that it’s all too pointless or attachment to someone who doesn’t love you back and yet you are helpless to kill your love for that person. These feeling when given more thought and time become ingrained in our subconsciousness and surface from time to time. It is important to accept them and face your weakness so that it doesn’t boil over to other aspects of your life which can still be good.

Share with us your experiences of social awkwardness and how you overcame them. Drop your comments below.

( Image Courtesy:- 1. The Team W blog, 2. Mind Hacks, 3. Dr. Marks and Michelle Sherwood, 4. Fort Worth Event Venue, 5. We heart it; Beach Boundary(Featured Image Courtesy)
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Answer

I was a really awkward person who had a difficult time growing up as I was always hesitant to make friends and approach people. All of this started when i was in school and foolishly claimed I am very good at boxing when I did not know anything about it as I had never boxed in my entire life. The reason I said it was to hold myself superior to the boy who was claiming that he was the best at beating other boys in school. This triggered a lot of anxiety in me even when other boys were afraid of coming near me and talking crap to me because they thought I would beat them up and hurt them. One day a fight was going on and it was a boy from a higher class than ours but was beating on a boy from my class. The boys of my class looked at me with hopeful eyes of interfering as I quietly passed by without turning my head towards them. THe boy who was beating on the boy from my class stopped and came towards me taunting me show me your boxing skills you sissy. It was sure to cause embarrassment but I had not already surrendered and gave him a good fight till he overpowered me and I fell hurting to the ground. After this when I went back to my class I was haunted by both what actually happened and the lie I told to my classmates. The rumour spread like wildfire with every pair of eyes gleaming with the same question why did I lie ? Just to act big ? I am not honest enough to accept myself as I am ? I avoided social interactions at all times and did not show up on my friends birthdays milking this one bad thing which I did giving way to negative energy. This was no reason to hate myself and a crushing blow to my self-esteem .I was so self-conscious I was on the verge of developing an anxiety disorder. I decided enough was enough, sitting here doing nothing but cribbing is helping no one so I took the same fight challenge to the boy who beat after school and gave him a few big ones on the cheek and in the abdomen. I lost the fight again as there was no way to defeat that freak of nature but it earned the respect of my classmates or did it ? Wasn’t fear and confidence just in my head and was it just not me associating positive self-image and negative self-image with my actions ? Yes it was. I learned it later that we can either get busy living or get busy recollecting the way in which we have lived till now and not take any action of our own. I eliminated the fear of being judged from my head altogether allowing people to form whatever opinion they wanted to form of me. I was a man who never took any action to hurt anyone and have remained so, everything else I did was me being a person and if other people had a problem with being a person then they were not of sound mind themselves.

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