A lot of times we find ourselves in the middle of a path where we cannot decide which way to go. Often, we ask ourselves whether to go right, left, go ahead or should we just move back. This happens when we doubt ourselves. But why do we do that?
We doubt ourselves, our decisions because we are unsure of the outcome. At these times, we depend on our conscience to lead us through the way and we hope that the path we choose is the right one. Is following our conscience always right? It may be sometimes but not always.
Depending on our inner voice may be the right thing to do when reasons do not have back on our decisions like when we have to choose between two favorite ice creams. In this case, we may want to listen to our conscience about which one we wish to eat that day because no logic is applicable for liking two different ice creams flavors. But if we have to decide between eating healthy or eating things we like, reasoning may force you to think of the pros and cons before you make a decision. Eating healthy food will make us fit and immune but eating your favorite pizza might only add unwanted calories in your diet.
In other words, when you rethink about your decisions and they put you in a dilemma that means you doubt yourself. Doubt is when your mind is unable to decide between two contradictory propositions. You fail to trust a proposed action which also leads to delay. Doubting yourselves may snatch some important opportunities from you because you either keep rejecting the idea due to uncertain results or you cross the deadline evaluating your decision. If you do not stop this now, then some golden opportunities will slip out of your hands like sand. Learn from here how you can stop doubting yourself at work and doubting yourself in a relationship.
How to stop doubting yourself, your decisions? Here are some interesting ways to do so!
#1. Say No To Your Inner Voice
Every time you have a make a decision about anything, it is expected that you will over think about it and your mind will become a hotspot of chaos. This is the moment you have to tell yourself to STOP! The moment you realize you are getting into minute details of the proposal and creating a web of thoughts in your mind, just stop.
Overthinking will also make you emotionally vulnerable that would deviate you from your original path. The more thoughts you have, the more you get trapped in them. The possible outcome of getting deeper is that you will end up listening to your inner voice which is not the right choice for you.
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#2. Rationalize
Start reasoning with yourself. Write down all the advantages and the disadvantages of the decision you want to make. This will help you get a hold of the project’s details and will also take you closer to the right decision. When you doubt yourself, it means that you have a feeling of uncertainty, but when you start giving logics, the feeling of certainty will arise. Plan everything and be realistic. Do not hold high expectations for anything be it your work or your relationship. If you are in doubt about your relationship, then remember that a relationship is not made from one person’s efforts alone. It is a partnership that the two people enter into so think about them as well.
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#3. Peep Into The Past
Peeping into the past will remind you of the times you took a decision instinctively of which the aftermath wasn’t desirable. This insight into the history will help you make a better decision this time, and you will also know what mistakes you made so you can learn from them now. Question yourself about how many times you doubted yourself, but later you realized that you weren't fair with yourself.
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#4. Seek Tutelage
Have a chat with someone who is close to you. Seek their advice or suggestion before you make a decision. Find an experienced and knowledgeable person who can show you how things are done or how you should make a decision on a matter. You could seek advice from your boss/senior about career-related choices. If you are in doubt about your relationship, then you can take advice from your close friends or family members. These people should be the ones who admire you and are always by your side whenever you need them. Family and friends are the people who always wish the best for you so seeking their advice will only help you in making a better decision without doubting yourself. Keep distance from people who criticize you and pull you down.
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#5. What Will Others Think?
People will think exactly what you think about yourself. Our inner thoughts and emotions reflect on our body that others can observe about you. If a person is extremely nervous his/her hand or legs will start shaking. There are various signs our body gives us that project our mental status. So, you need to stop worrying about what other people think and start focusing on what you should think about yourself. Other people around you are just like you which means you are no less than any other person. The most important things you should do is to boost your confidence. Be bold, be brave and face the world. If you have faith in yourself, then people will believe in you.
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#6. Optimism
Doubting yourself means that you have a negative image of yourself in your mind. You do not keep your esteem high probably because you are not positive about yourself. You may have a habit of critiquing your decisions or yourself as a whole individual which is a bad practice. It may not be intentional or may be a habit that you have carried since your childhood. This is the right time to give up such habits which make your self-worth decrease in your own eyes. Start reading inspirational journals and personal development books to sharpen and to add luster to your personality.
“You are braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think.” – A.A Milne
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#7. Nobody Is Perfect
God made nobody perfect in this world so, do not expect yourself to be one. High expectations from others or yourself can damage your personal growth. We are our own worst critic. Do not expect yourself to be correct every time because mistakes are sometimes good. They help you learn better and memorize that fault so that you do not repeat it in the future. When you expect yourself to be right every time you make decisions in a hurry, and you cannot know every time what is right and what is wrong. In the same manner, other people do not expect from you because they are not perfect either.
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#8. Practice Makes A Man Perfect
You may not be perfect, but you can practice being better. Develop few practices to increase your self-esteem and confidence like practice talking in front of the mirror, write down the qualities you have and keep adding more to the list. Ask your partner about what they like about you and what change you should bring in yourself and start bringing those small changes. One day you may not be perfect, but you will have achieved perfection in your work and your relationships. You will start moving out of your comfort zone, and soon you will not fear anything.
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#9. Corrections
Change is the only constant in this world so we need to be aware of the fact that any mistake made can always be corrected. Some may be small, and some may be huge, but they can all be corrected. Small ones can be corrected easily, the bigger ones may take a little time but remember they are amendable. So do not fear to make decisions about yourself thinking that it cannot be changed in the future. You can do anything you want to do even if you do not know how to do it. Experiences are as much important as gaining knowledge.
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#10. Comparisons
A person may feel inferior when he/she is compared with other person, and this inferiority makes them doubt their abilities, and themselves so do not compare your self with other people. Do not pay attention more than needed when someone else compares you with other people. Everybody is subjected to their judgments and biases. A lot of people carry prejudices and biases based on their own bad experiences which have nothing to do with you. So it is not necessary that their opinion of you is correct. If you are confident about yourself and if you know you are not wrong then other people’s opinions do not weigh much.
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Share your views in the comments section below if you doubt yourself with the reasons why you do?
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There are various reasons one may have a feeling of uncertainties about their life, work and relationships. There are many people who doubt themselves at work. Some employees do not perform well in their workplace because they doubt themselves. They do not take new projects or assignments because they fear failure. These people may also doubt themselves in a relationship. Commitment may become a difficult task because they develop trust issues and they may start thinking that they are not good enough for their partners. I knew a friend who lost a relationship because he doubted himself.
#1. Low Self-Esteem
The major cause of doubting yourself can be a low self-esteem. Low self-esteem means that you do not value your worth. Lack of confidence in a person powers self-doubt and this doubt then creates a house inside the mind of the person. This person then will not value his own worth at work or in a relationship. This also becomes a cause for inferiority complex which then makes the person emotionally distressed.
#2. Pessimism
A person who is always critical of things around in the world will also be critical of himself. Critique is a good thing if taken positively but if a person takes it negatively then the person might feel unworthy of the things they already have in life. The person might give up on his work and relationships which will only destroy his life. Negativity is easily spread. The person might already be negative but when some other person comes along and criticizes then the person will doubt himself.
#3. Background
The familial background of the person who doubts himself may also be responsible for low level of confidence. If the person has been criticised since his childhood or people around him are people with low self-esteem then there may be a possibility that the child has developed it through observing others. It is also possible that the person is an introvert which also sometimes becomes the reason for low confidence.