Okay, let me just start already as I am really looking for help.
I am an adult guy who is been on Tinder for 4 years long. I have talked to bunch of people (girls) on Tinder. The reason why I started going on Tinder is because, I felt like it is been too long that I have been feeling lonely and I came up with the idea that maybe if I get a girlfriend, she would keep me company.
Before I tell you what is happening, I need you to know that I am a nice looking guy. I graduated high school, have a job, and go to college at the same time. Since 2010, I have only had 4 friends while I was in high school. I would understand that having 4 friends is fair, because I came in the country not knowing English. So, it took me almost 2 years to be able to take care of myself alone speaking the language. I ended up losing 1 of my friends, because he started smoking weed and drink alcohol. This isn't really my type so, I kept my distance away from him. I lost another one, because she wasn't really a good friend. She was using me for how nice I was. When I do not offer help, she would get mad and leave. She only comes to me when she needs help. So then, I only have 2 friends since 2012.
Now that it is 2018, I still have these 2 friends. But, recently, 1 of them got a boyfriend and she barely talks to me now. We talk maybe every 5-7 weeks for maybe...1 or 2mns on Snapchat LOL. I am now left with one friend and that friend is a guy. Not happy about that because, I am almost 24 and it is time to start looking for a girl. I am not rushing but, I think that it is time for me to start looking for a girl.
I am the shy, anxious, nervous type of guy. I do not like to party, smoke, or drink. I am not social, because I have no friends for years. I try to stay away from people as hard as I can but can also get mad later for doing it. It is like I am looking for friends but, when people come to me, I want them to leave. I am not interested about 90% of what is on earth. If i get invited to the White House, I would not be surprised.
The way that people talk to me is like the way that people working at a T-mobile store talk to their customer. It does not feel like there is a friendship between us. But, when they turn around, to someone else, they act like real buddies. They laugh, play around, and I just sit around smiling at them, but, I am not really happy.
So, nowadays, I am getting tired of everything. I cannot focus in school that much, I am not happy, I do not have friends, I am always home or at work, I have no one to talk to, and I am really getting tired of trying over and over again for over 8+ years and find no results.
I feel really exhausted nowadays. I just decided to live life being by myself now and giving up to everything except school. Even if I get a girlfriend (which I never had), I would probably feel noting for her tomorrow or the next week now. That's what I mean that "I am not interested about 90%..." anymore. I feel nothing. I feel numb. Now, it is 2:11AM typing this because, I cannot sleep from thinking, thinking, and thinking...Sleeping because an issue for me too for years. I cannot sleep!
What should I do, please? Do not guess. I seriously need a good answer.