Dealing with children can prove to be the most difficult task for many parents, especially in the situations when it becomes impossible for them to explain it to children why certain things are not acceptable. Children do not have the required amount of maturity that is necessary for parents to make sure that they understand all the things that parents wish to bring to their attention. Most parents find it challenging to be creative and patient when dealing with their children. As a result, the most common way in which parents tend to respond to children is by saying ‘no’ for most of the unacceptable things that their children wish to do.
What is essential to understand is the idea that using 'no' as the response makes things worse when it comes to children. For them, a 'no' from any authoritative figure is mostly about the things that they are forbidden to do and consequently, they feel more attracted towards such things. It is child psychology that when you say no to something the urge to do that becomes stronger and they will do what they are told not to do.
What looks like a simple way of guiding our children and making them aware of the fact that they should not do certain things because they may cause harm becomes a negative approach. Parents and guardians need to understand the fact that when we are dealing with children, we need to make sure that we are being tactful enough, doing all that we can to bridge the communication gap and trying to get along with children.
If you are tired of saying no to your children and wish to do things differently then, you need to keep certain things in mind. If you are looking at finding some effective tips to communicate with the children properly and avoiding all that conflict, then keep on reading. Here are some tips by which you can say 'no' to your children without actually saying 'no.'
#1. Suggest A Better Alternative
Instead of bluntly asking them not to do something or just saying no for something, the best thing to do will be to suggest something that they can do as an alternative to the activity or idea they were suggesting. What this will do is make it possible for you to introduce something else to consider and they will not get the feeling that they are being asked to not do something in particular. Thus, the urge to go against your 'no' will not arise. If you are tactful enough you will be able to steadily convince them about the alternative and divert the entire conversation to make space for negotiation.
It is all about the way you make them feel that you are not giving them a negative reply and are just making a suggestion. When you do not give them a negative reply you are ensuring that they feel that no one is exercising their authority over them. This makes it possible that they do not strive to do the things they were asked to not do.
#2. Change The Subject
When they ask for something that you find is not appropriate for them, try to change the subject and do not give a direct reply. The more subtle you are while doing this the better effect it is going to have on the response of the child. What is essential to understand is the fact that anything other than giving a negative feedback will make it possible for you to handle the situation well. The best alternative to saying no is to change the subject and divert their attention to some other subject that is of value to them. Why you will need to do it in a very subtle way is because your child may prove to act in a more stubborn way if they will figure out that you are ignoring their demand and trying to have it your way.
To keep their interest alive, you will need to choose a topic that can keep them engaged. This may include something that is of such high value to them that they will remain hooked to it. Make sure that the topic you are choosing to divert their attention is more interesting than the topic they are trying to attract your attention to. This way you will be able to capture their attention.
#3. Make Sure You Speak To Them In Their Language
Children have a different way of dealing with life; they are most often found living in a world of their own and having different ways of looking at ordinary life. Sometimes when we try to explain things to them and choose to do it by using practical arguments, we are not able to communicate properly with them. This is clearly because of the fact that they do not have enough understanding of the practicality of the things that we as adults are able to understand.
In order to make sure that you are able to clearly explain our point to them, it will be essential to resort to the kind of language and references that they can easily understand. What is important is that you make an effort to refer to the examples that can help to explain things to children in an easy way. Sometimes there is a lot of communication gap between parents and children. It arises because parents are not able to understand what will make proper sense to their children and how to explain the details that are not easy for children to understand. Parents should bridge this communication gap by talking to the children frequently as it will inculcate a friendly relationship between both the parties.
#4. Why Don’t You Let Them Say No
Just do not say no to them and make it sound such that they will be the ones saying no to you for the same thing. As parents, you need to have a few tricks up your sleeve so that you can manipulate your children when needed. There are lots of aspects of life that they are not familiar with and all they need is your assistance to find out the reality regarding them. Use this to your advantage and explain things to them in such a way that they are either not interested anymore or find the idea of what they wished to do useless and say no on their very own. Making them say no is a much better idea as compared to when you say no to them.
#5. Refer To Previous Situations.
There are many times when things tend to go wrong and your children do remember all of those instances. Just bring those times to their attention, when they were in a deep mess and needed your help to get out of it. Previous mistakes can be a great way to make sure that your children have the consequences of doing things against your wish in mind. When they remember the fact that they did not choose to listen to you and were in deep trouble as a result of that, they will want to give it a thought and do what is going to make sure that they are not in deep trouble.By referring to the times when they faced trouble, you will be able to alert them to the fact that when things go wrong, all that they will need to do is to ask for help from their parents. This is a sure shot way to convince them not to do all those things that are not going to be good for them.
If you have been making an effort to deal with your children and have not been successful at it, if you are looking at finding conflict-free ways to interact with your children, you will have to ensure that you interact with them and say no in a very subtle way. Do you feel this article will help you to deal with your children in a better way and say no to them without saying no? We would love to know your thoughts, so please share them with us in the comment box below.
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