The Martyr syndrome, also known as the
victim syndrome is categorized as a psychotic trait where the person seeks pain
and suffering in order to satisfy a psychological need which convinces them
into believing that they are being a martyr for their own good which will lead
to positive outcomes. This kind of behavior is often seen in women of abusive
relationships or ones seeking for co-dependency of any kind. Masochistic
behavior is categorized under Martyr Syndrome where the person receives sexual
gratification or satisfaction by the infliction of pain.
The Martyr complex makes the person adopt a kind of victim mentality where the person is convinced into believing that he/ she suffers for the negative actions of others which will, in turn, bring about a positive change. The person behaves as a victim and or more like he/she is convinced that he/she is a victim suffering for the sins of others. This kind of behavior is commonly seen in women and people of low stature. When people tend to become co-dependent on their other half, they are convinced into believing that they are the weaker person in the relationship and tends to provide all the power to the other person and submissives happily to their controllable behavior. Some psychologists also consider this as an actual psychotic disorder where the person cannot stop thinking about harming himself in order to pay for the sins or negative outcomes of others. The person seeks pain and suffering just like a victim of a situation must feel.
The savior or the messiah complex, however, makes an individual into believing that he has been destined or born to be the savior of others. Martyr complex is also known as the saint complex. Being a martyr means dying for one’s country or the nation. A person suffering from a martyr complex is convinced into believing that he/ she is suffering for a cause, and therefore see themselves in a constant state of self- sacrifice. In simpler words, they think that they have no control over their lives and surrenders to live the life of a victim. This kind of behavior can be seen in people in relationships, workplace, amongst siblings, etc.
People suffering from a martyr complex usually suffer from low self- esteem. Sufferers of this complex usually tend to seek appreciation and worth by sacrificing self. You have to understand that if people don’t appreciate your worth, then it doesn’t make you less of a human being. Everyone has good and bad qualities and if you think that you are not appreciated for something that you wish you were appreciated for, usually to seek attention from a specific person, then stop trying too hard or surrendering your self-worth to that person. This kind of behavior is usually found in acts of sexual masochism where one person tends to inflict pain upon oneself (BDSM) to help the other person achieve sexual gratification.
Victims suffering from this complex usually tend to avoid responsibility by blaming all failures and disappointments on his family, friends and external factors without taking any responsibility for his actions. If you think you always act right but bad things keep occurring to you, you might be suffering from this syndrome. People also tend to overexaggerate their situations and have a pessimistic attitude towards their life, blaming people for bringing bad luck or the reason for their failures. They tend to portray himself as a saint or a sufferer who sacrifices for the service of others.
The Martyr Syndrome makes the person live the life of a victim where he/ she tends to lose all control over their minds and fail to recognize the options and opportunities around them. In order to overcome this feeling or complex, the person must learn how to express themselves. When the person feels like a victim inside his/ her own head, he tends to feel somehow that he has no control over his actions, mind and above all, life. Another thing that you have to follow is to stop considering yourself as a victim or a sufferer. Convey your thoughts to others if you think your opinions are not being clear to the ones around you and stop feeling like you are inferior to them in any way because everyone has their own voice and opinion which deserves to be given a heed. Stop overworking if that makes you feel like a sufferer and do not overburden yourself with work. Resist the urge to just surrender to someone who has a manipulative personality and just speak up if you feel like your opinions are not being taken into consideration. There might be a possibility that your opinions are different from the others. Embrace this uniqueness and accept the fact that it is okay to have a different opinion than others. Sometimes people tend to manipulate weak minds and if you think you can be manipulated easily and find it difficult to say a ‘No’, then reconsider the situation and think of ways how you can act on it. Have an opinion and take a stand. Even if you don’t really have an opinion and are forced to accept other people’s opinions, then you should gather courage and voice against it. Speak your mind and let others know that you are not okay with a particular decision.
Every problem has a solution. There are actions you can undertake to treat this behavior as well and here are some pointers as to how!
#1. Accept
Accept the fact that there will always be people at your workplace or school that will have a different opinion as yours. Accept that not everyone will like you. So stop surrendering to their opinions and rather have an opinion of your own that you can express.
#2. Be Strong
Some people tend to get manipulated easily. The first step that you must do in order to fall into this pit is to recognize the signs that you surrender easily to others opinions. This kind of behavior is related to low self- esteem and low confidence. Sometimes you can be in a relationship and yet you might never even notice how you tend to agree with every word your other half says. Be it a band, a cuisine or comfort, if you think you are being forced to like the things you do not have the hots for, you have to voice against it and save yourself from that unhealthy, draining relationship. Don’t stick around, give them the power to treat you less than what you deserve or as a scapegoat for their own failures. This kind of behavior is most often seen in abusive relationships where one person tends to inflict physical abuse on the other person or where one person seems to be dependant on the other, and therefore surrenders to every single word or ill action that they inflict on them.
#3. Seek Therapy
Human beings are complex creatures. Not everything is in our hands to control, and some things just develop by facing certain situations such as childhood troubles or a strained relationship that eventually molds you into thinking of yourself as less than the others. If you think you have no control over your personality and are easy to manipulate or just cannot say ‘no’ to things that you are not in support of or make you feel comfortable, then seeking professional help can do wonders and change your life for the better. It might help you to build a stronger character or develop a positive outcome towards life apart from getting to know things about yourself better and accepting who you really are. Therapy will help you manage your thoughts in the right direction and overcome the unnecessary feelings of regret and guilt.
#4. Overcome Unnecessary Feelings Of Guilt
Sufferers of this complex have the ability to blame himself for the negative actions of others and most of the time have no control over how they feel. They might contain many unnecessary and unwanted feelings or guilt within himself which is important to treat as it can hamper your lifestyle and productively greatly. Try to think rationally and add some practicality in your life by not falling in the guilt trip that others try to inflict upon you and stand up for what you stop thinking of yourself as a victim who deserves to pay for his penance.
Here's a gist into the Martyr or the popularly known victim syndrome. We hope we helped you know yourself and the people around you better and gave you a reason to take a stand through this article. If you found this article helpful, leave a comment!
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