Words are really like a bullet that once fired cannot be taken back. While talking to people, we often do not have an idea regarding how we sound. But, when we are at the receiving end of the conversation it becomes clear how hard hitting the words spoken by others can prove to be. Words are what we use to express ourselves and are the medium through which we tend to reach and communicate with people. Therefore, it is so essential to be careful about the words we choose while having a conversation with people.
As individuals, we tend to attach too much of importance to the words spoken by others. The general behavior of people is to react to the things that have been told to them. If it is something that is negative, they will immediately attach importance to it and will react to it. They will internalize the comment and that is the reason the words will keep ringing in their ears. What we, as individuals, forget is the fact that we do not need to respond to everything that we feel is negative, we can and always have the power to choose. If you adopt the positive and healthy habit of not attaching importance to anything that is negative, no matter what the other person has to say it will not have any impact on you.
The implementation of this habit is not as simple as it sounds. Once you hear someone using negative words for you or talking ill of you, no matter how much aware you are of the ability to choose your response, it becomes hard to completely avoid it. Our brains are wired in such a way that we tend to attach too much importance and for a longer period of time to things that are negative in nature and the same is applicable for words. There is that immediate effect of being the victim of the negative behavior of people. No matter how much we try to keep a check on the kind of people we interact with, we cannot control the kind of words they use while interacting with us. Thus, the best thing to do is to be prepared and equipped enough to be able to handle the situation.
#1. Do Not Suppress The Immediate Emotional Feelings
You need to understand the fact that your feelings that arise as the immediate response to the negative things told to you and the harsh words used against you are not the signs of how weak you are. They are the immediate reaction. Most of us tend to suppress and ignore these reactions with the hope that we will get rid of the situation by doing so. It is crucial to understand that this will not help you to get rid of the emotional pain, hurt or resentment. It will only make the entire situation worse.
The suppression of feelings can also lead to negative thinking and self-esteem issues. The more negative suppressed emotions you have, the more emotional baggage you have to deal with. You will have to understand the fact that suppressing is just a temporary way of not dealing with the matter. The permanent solution however is facing it, dealing with it and being able to look at it from the correct perspective. This is what you need to do in case the words spoken by someone hurt you.
#2. Find A Way To Get Rid Of The Emotional Baggage
The kind of importance we attach to these kinds of experiences will create an emotional baggage that will negatively impact our mental and physical health if we fail to recognize and get rid of them. This means that you should be able to vent out the regret or the anger that you have for these people. Venting it out is the only way to get it out of your system forever. You need to understand that these hurtful memories are so powerful that they can leave an impact on your mind and even though they are not something we think of frequently, they keep resurfacing each time there is a similar sort of trigger.
The best step to vent out negativity is to cry out the entire thing if that comes naturally to you or to say it out loud to yourself, just tell yourself how you felt and how bad the entire thing was? Strive for an emotional outlet and make sure that you are able to get all of these feelings out of your system and the memories will automatically be erased.
#3. Realize What You Can Do
The moment you are able to understand the fact that it is not about you, it is about the people who choose to behave in such ways and use words that can hurt others, you are back to making the decision for yourself. You will need to realize that when they behave negatively and use negative words for you, there is some issue that is not resolved within them that needs to be done away with. They are rude and negative. When you realize this and take out the time to give a thought to the idea that you let their words impact you, then you will be able to take back the power and do what it takes to be relaxed and look at the brighter side of the matter. You will be able to see the fact that you are in charge of the situation. It depends on you whether or not you want other people's words to affect you or not.
#4. Understand That It Doesn't Matter
The words are just words. The moment you attach meaning to it and the emotional value to it is when those words begin to matter. So be very aware of the value you are attaching to all the words being spoken to you. It is very essential to keep in mind the fact that you are going to be able to play with words and determine the kind of emotional impact it has over you, only if you realize where the real power of words are.
Understand the fact that you are the real power because you get to choose to attach meaning to the words that you hear. Nobody has the power to affect you until you give that power to them. Realize the fact that what others say does not matter. It is their perspective and in the end, it all depends on you, whether or not you want the words to affect you.
#5. Look At The Situation Mindfully
Extract the meaning from the situation, the lesson is always there and along with that you get to see how irrelevant it is to let the negative baggage and behavior of others affect you. When you get to see how you are being the victim of a situation, you will be able to see how trivial it is to waste all your energies on such situations. Just ask yourself if the words that have been used against you will affect you after three years from now. Most often the answer is a 'no'. This way you will realize that it is all trivial and not worth paying attention to.
Do you think this article will help you to understand what to do when words hurt you? Please share your thoughts and comments with us in the comment section below.