Though rejection is a part of life, nobody in the world likes to be left out. The feeling can make you sad and depressed. Being rejected by the people close to us is something that happens with all of us. Not everyone gets invited to each party, and not every single guy or girl gets asked to join on every holiday.
Though it is normal and happens to the best of us now and then, the feeling can be a little too difficult to shake off. It can make you think that you are boring and nobody wants to spend time with you. That is why we are here today with some tips that will help you do so. Do you ever feel left out? Do you know how to deal with this feeling? Keep reading to find out how.
#1. Understand That Rejection Is A Small Part Of Life
No matter how charming, dashing or good with words someone is, they have to face rejection in their life at one point or the other. It is something that you cannot avoid, and if you try to avoid it, then you will end up missing out on some of the greatest pleasures in life. You can repose in the fact that the sense of rejection that you have right now is only temporary and will fade away with time. However, if rejection and being left out is something that occurs in your life on a regular basis, then perhaps you should give deeper thought to things since there could be something that you are doing wrong. This brings us to our next point.
#2. Consider The Reasons
Well, you may not like to hear this, but there could be a genuine reason why your friends left you out of their plans. For instance, they could be planning something that they know you do not like and most definitely would say no to. Maybe they thought what is the point in asking if they already know your answer. We understand that it feels good to have been at least asked but what would you have done if you were in their shoes? If you were planning something that one of your friends has consistently said no to? Would you keep on asking him or her till forever? Also, there could be worse reasons why you are left out. Maybe your friends consider you a spoilsport as you consistently say no to things and end up ruining plans for others.
#3. Be Realistic
More times than not, we feel left out even when there is not even a reason to. Be realistic and take a look at the situation from different angles. There could be a side to the situation that you haven’t considered yet. Sometimes, we feel things that we shouldn’t be as there is no basis for them. What you have to do is be realistic about the things you feel and how you perceive this situation.
#4. Distract Your Mind With Something You Enjoy
The feeling of being left out can eat you away so never let it deepen its claws in your mind. If you find the emotions taking over, distract your mind with some activity that you love to partake in. If it is reading that you enjoy, then you can pick up the novel you have been looking forward to read, and if it is listening to music that brings peace to your mind, then you can play your favorite songs. Just indulge in anything that can take your mind off of this feeling. You can take a hot bath, go for an invigorating workout session, spend some quality time with your family or pamper yourself with a delicious meal.
#5. Use Positive Self-Talk To Feel Better
Positive self-talk is perhaps the most underrated tool for self-motivation. Time and again we have had people and books telling us to try it when we feel low, but we seldom consider it as something that would work. You can consider this as one of the dozens of times you had somebody telling you to try positive self-talk, or you can finally give it a shot and turn your life around. When feeling left out, look in the mirror and say things like ‘I am a good friend’ or ‘I am an interesting and fun person.' Saying this repetitively will make your brain believe it and you will start to be happier and content with your situation.
#6. Confide Your Feelings In Someone
Sometimes, all that we need is talk to someone about how we feel. If you have somebody in your life that you share all your feelings with like an inseparable sibling or supportive parent, then talk to them. It is not about finding answers for why you were left out, but confiding your feelings in someone. At the very least, this will make you feel like being accepted. Somebody or some people in your life may have left you out from their plans, but there are some who genuinely care about you. However, you have to be meticulous about who you choose to talk to at this time. You want someone who is supportive and will not just brush off your feelings. The latter can make you feel even worse than before.
#7. Talk To Your Friends
What better way to deal with your feelings than talking to the people who left you out! Let them know that their actions hurt you. Perhaps the explanation for their actions will help you understand that they had genuine reasons and you will feel better. Do not condescendingly talk to them like you are blaming them for something, but ask considerate questions that help you build a fruitful dialogue. Maybe this will give them a heads up and they will act more thoughtful in future. This is also a good opportunity for you to set straight any assumptions because of which they might have left you out like lack of funds or controlling parents.
#8. Arrange Things To Enjoy With Your Friends
There is a chance that you were left out because of your own situation like hectic schedule or other commitments. In that case, you can be the one who makes plans for future. You can plan the next outing or whatever activity at a time that you and your friends both agree to. When you are making plans and organizing everything, there is no chance that you will be left out. If your congested schedule does not allow you to indulge in fun activities with your friends, then you can spend time together doing mundane tasks like grocery shopping and going to the gym.
#9. Make New Friends/Surround Yourself With New People
If you are getting left out on a regular basis even after making attempts to include yourself, then maybe your best option is to accept that you cannot count on these people and start seeking joy somewhere else. We understand that this will be hard, but if your current social circle is only making you feel bad, then there is no choice other than changing it. You need to surround yourself with people who respect you and want to spend time with you as much as you with them. Join a club, volunteer, pick up a hobby, and you will soon cross paths with people who share a common interest with you and enjoy your company.
So, this is how you deal with the feeling of being left out. Before you leave, the last thing we would like to say is you do not run away from your feelings. Process them because otherwise, they would just keep on eating you from the inside.
Liked what you just read? Want to share a few suggestions of your own? Use the comment box below. We would love to hear from you.
10 Opinions
9 Opinions
Not sure if everyone feels left out, but I certainly do. I am an introvert who does not open up with people
that easily. So maybe people think that I am not interested in talking to them and they do not include me
in their plans. Most times it is okay since I myself do not want to be included in their plans by sometimes
it feel a little left out. They say you get used to the feeling but you do not really do. You start working at a
new place, thinking you are going to try harder to make friends here, talk to your colleagues on a regular
basis and start to believe that you are a part of their group. But you do not really get invited to their
intimate parties or get together. Then you do feel left out.
The thing to note here is that all of this can be easily avoided by putting in just a little extra efforts. How I
deal with feeling left out is that I get in touch with my other friends. For instance, if my colleagues have
made a plan to hang out together without me, then I get in touch with my college friends and plan a get
together by myself. This way, I can keep myself from keeping on thinking about why I was not invited to
the party and what did I do wrong. This also helps me in spending quality time with my friends and
deepening the bond that we share.
Another thing I do when feeling left out is I go for a walk. It calms me down and it has been years since I
have been doing this to calm my anxious mind. I go for a walk around the block or to a nearby park,
whatever I feel like and try to deviate my thoughts away from feeling left out and try to think about
something else.
Also, if being left out makes you angry, then maybe you need to find something to blow off your steam?
While this is something that I have never needed, I have seen this to be helpful for other people who
found themselves in similar situations. There are many ways you can blow off you steam. All you have to
do is indulge in something that gets the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Anything like going for a
run or an invigorating workout session at the gym can do the trick for you. Or maybe if you own a
punching bag, then you can land a few swings on it.
Sometimes, I also try to persuade myself that it was even better that I was not invited to the party. I do
not like spending much time with people and this one action of theirs tells me so much about them.
What I do is I go to my room and talk to myself that it does not matter that I was not invited. I have many
other things that I would rather spend my time doing.
Feeling left out is something that none of us what but many of us have to go through at some point in
our life. If you feel left out, you can try any of these steps. Let me know if you found any of these
effective.