What to do when you are Feeling Unwanted & Unloved?

1,046 Views Updated: 07 Mar 2018
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What to do when you are Feeling Unwanted & Unloved?

The feeling of being unwanted and unloved is something that can prove to be very negative for the emotional health of any individual. Yet there are times in our life when it becomes impossible for us to avoid such feelings, either because of the behavior of other people in our lives or because of the kind of circumstances we are going through in life. There can be various reasons that make it impossible for us to avoid such feelings, irrespective of knowing that we always have someone or the other to care for us. We just need to focus on the right people and the positive experiences.

Irrespective of how emotionally mature we are and how much we have the ability to deal with our circumstances effectively, some situations lead to so much emotional weakness that it becomes impossible for us to control the emotional flood of sadness or even those gloomy feelings that tend to cloud our minds.

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As humans, it is impossible for us to live a life of complete isolation and the one where we are not able to find those people who we can easily associate with, who have the same set of beliefs and who can effortlessly understand who we really are. Irrespective of how social or anti-social we tend to be in our day to day life, we all will, at some point of time in life, feel the need to associate with people who we can effortlessly get along with. The absence of this makes it impossible for us to contain our frustration and often leads to the feeling of being unloved and unwanted among people who we cannot resonate with.

What is important to understand is the fact that we have complete control over the way we feel or the way we choose to feel. Keeping that in mind at all times is the only thing that will make it possible for us to deal with any kind of emotional weakness and all those negative feelings around feeling unwanted. Please understand the fact that we have the power to make sure that we give our self the permission to feel worthy or feel unwanted; we have the power to let others actions negatively affect us or not impact us at all. If you have been experiencing the need to stop feeling unwanted and wish to get out of this self-imposed prison, here are the things that you can do in order to make sure that you stop feeling unwanted and unloved.

What To Do When You Are Feeling Unwanted And Unloved?

#1. It Is Not About You It Is About Them

This is the most essential thing related to any relationship among human beings. The way a particular person will react to situations and the way they treat you has nothing to do with you. It is not about how you are and the things you do when they behave cruelly, it is all about them. They do so because they are broken inside, they behave negatively because they have a lot of negativity within them, and they are not able to love unconditionally because they are broken inside.

We have the habit of blaming our self for the kind of behavior that others exhibit and keep searching for where we have gone wrong and what we lack. You do not lack anything when someone treats you with anger and negativity; it is so because they are dealing with a lot of negative emotions. The moment you feel like someone is making you feel unwanted, please understand they are not ready for the unconditional love that you are sending their way and are dealing with a lot of negativity themselves.

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#2. You Have The Power

We are so used to living a reactive life that we tend to forget that our biggest power is to live as proactive beings. The simple and clear way to understand this is the idea that, we cannot control the way any person is going to treat us and what will take place in our life tomorrow. But we have all the power to control and choose how we are going to respond and deal with these circumstances of our life. The way we choose to respond is the way we ultimately impact our own life. This is exactly where the power is.

Take your power back and each time you feel emotionally weak because of the way someone else treated you, choose not to let their behavior affect you, only let positivity impact you. This can prove to be very hard to practice, but when you take note of the above-mentioned point, it becomes clear how no one is intending to make you feel unwanted but, they are just behaving the way they are.

#3. The Need To Learn Self Love

The fact is that many people are afraid of love and are not able to love the essential person in their life, which is they, themselves. In case you are in the company of a person who is full of hatred for self, it really is not going to be wise enough to expect them to treat you otherwise. There are people who cannot love the way they are; they have become so full of hatred that it is impossible for them to be kind to others as well.

Keep the facts in mind that a person who is not able to love themselves is not going to be able to exhibit love to you or to anyone else. Are you going to let yourself feel unwanted because of a person who is not able to deal with their own baggage? Or is that even worth it?

You need to understand the idea that due to the kind of past experiences we have, we tend to have baggage that we carry from those past experiences. If someone is not able to get rid of them and heal themselves, they are probably feeling unwanted and unloved. There is no point expecting anything from them.

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#4. Their Soul Is Just No Ready

It is very important to understand the fact that all of us have a journey that we take up, which generally comprises the life experiences we tend to have. But, along with that, our souls also have a journey, and the reason this knowledge is essential here is that people whose souls are not mature enough and are not ready, they are just not ready to be compassionate and loving and kind like those people who have old souls. The ones who have old and mature souls have the ability to be kind and compassionate no matter what. We may not remember the journey our soul has had but, we all are the product of that. This is the reason why some people have a greater tolerance level and others are often easily irritable and find it hard to be compassionate.

It is just that they are not ready in the present moment and with the further experience, they will be ready someday. But, the point for you to keep in mind is that you cannot let their journey make you feel unloved. Please understand the idea that you cannot expect people to go out of their way to make you feel a certain way it is completely your responsibility.

#5. You Need To Love You First

The best solution to the need for being loved by others is the realization that you do not really need others to love you and make you feel worthy, that is not their job. You have the ability to fill whatever void you feel and make things possible in your life through your positive thinking. The only thing that you will need to do is to practice self-love and self-care.

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When you realize the fact that you do not need anyone else to approve who you are and accept you, you are already the best version of yourself, and then it becomes possible for you to accept all that takes place in your surrounding and not take things that personally. You will need to be able to love yourself and will have to be able to make peace with the behavior of all the others around you. Once you stop controlling and let go, you will see how different you feel and how easy it is not to let others affect you.

If you can love yourself unconditionally, you will show people how they can love you. Please keep in mind the fact that you can show people how to treat you and also choose how you are going to allow them to treat you.

If you are someone who is finding it hard to deal with the feeling of being unwanted and unloved, do you think this article is going to be able to help you to deal with these negative feelings you are having? Please let us know!

(Image Courtesy: 1. Scs, 2. Huffington Post, 3. Kindness Blog, 4. Carols: Loner Wolf(Featured Image Courtesy)
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