Do you have big goals in your life? Do you feel the urge to talk about your goals with the whole world? When we decide that this is something we want to do in our life and it is our ultimate goal we feel energized. We feel like we have discovered the purpose of our life and the satisfaction that we get from it is unmatchable. The excitement of having a direction to life makes a person share the news with people. We all love to share our feelings with the people we love, and we think that they will support us in our decisions. But should you really share them with other people? Would it be wise to let other people know that you have set your goals and you will make them happen?
Your goals are the targets that you want to achieve, and the first thing you would want to do is to inform your family and friends about it. However, studies have shown that one must keep their goals to themselves if they want to achieve them. It is advisable not to talk about your aims to people especially those who are absolutely not concerned.
The reasons why you should keep your goals to yourself are numerous.
One of the reasons is that it is not necessary that you will succeed in whatever you do. You may have very high and unrealistic goals, and when they do not get fulfilled, people will be making fun of you. Are you ready to live with failure? Are you ready to live with embarrassment? People want an opportunity to make a person feel ashamed, and people like to look down upon others. When you speak of your great aims, you give a chance to other people to say things behind your back. They will make fun of you for being too ambitious, and they will pull you down. If you think you can deal with this attitude of the people, then you can tell them about your goals. But when people speak such things behind or in front of you, it affects your performance and your will to work towards achieving success. People’s comments and remarks will make you question your decision, and you may give up on your dreams. What we must understand is that people are judgemental and they will judge you according to their set of beliefs, and we cannot change that. But we can always avoid informing them about it.
It brings negativity in your life. There will be people who would tell you that you cannot do whatever you have planned to do. They will stop you saying that they care for you. They will tell you it will not be a good place to be but you have to stick your plan. Those people will feed you with negativity which will make you pessimistic. You will start finding excuses for discontinuing the task, and you will start looking at the negative parts of your plan. You will be afraid of the risks it involves because the people would have made you oppose your own wishes. The motivation you had in the beginning before talking to people about it will vanish, and you will stop moving towards your destination. The inspiration will become vague, and slowly you will stop seeing your inspiration. You will have lost all the hopes, and you would start finding other options. Some people have the power to influence you, and they will stop you from achieving what you want. People forget that in order to rise one must not pull the other down.
Another reason is that when you talk to people about your goals, you do more of the talking rather than the doing. You just keep talking about what you should do and your plan does but when it comes to doing it, you fail. It happens because the other person gets involved in your conversation and you get satisfaction. It feels like you have come half way towards your target whereas you have not even started working. Dr. Gollwitzer had conducted a study in 2009 where 163 people wrote down a personal goal. Half of them announced their goals while the other half did not. They were supposed to work towards their goal in 45 minutes, and they were allowed to stop any time. Those who did not announce their goals worked on their goal the entire time whereas the others worked only for 33 minutes because they felt that they were close to their target and did not have to work for so long. The group who worked for 45 minutes said that they still had a lot more to do. Therefore, the people who kept their goals hidden were actually closer than the other group because they had little distractions and they worked for a longer period of time. The other ones gave up early without completing their task.
Informing other people about your goals created distractions for you, you start believing that you are close, but you are not. You start wasting time and the tortoise wins the race. Slow and steady wins the race. Similarly, keeping your goals to yourself will help you win the race.
#1. Write Down The Goal
If you have goals and you want to make them happen then keep your goals to yourself. If you feel like sharing your excitement and you can’t keep it inside you then take it out. Do not inform a person instead write it down somewhere nobody can read it. Write it in your personal diary or paper, and then you can hide it or throw it. You just want to share your goals with someone, but you do not want failure so share it with a notebook. You can write down all your feelings along with it so that it is the thought of sharing the news completely goes out of your head.
#2. Resist The Temptation To Speak About Your Goals
Resist the temptation you get to tell a person who is simply sharing their goals with you. You would think that you can at least share it your best friend but do not share it with anyone. Control yourself as much as you can because sharing it with will have bad consequences. Stop yourself from thinking about your goals when you are with other people. What you can do is decide a punishment for yourself if you speak about your goals to anyone like you could retain yourself from watching your favorite show or anything that can be a big punishment for you though failure is a punishment in itself. You need to have control over yourself otherwise you will not be able to succeed in life ever.
#3. Do Not Seek Social Support
A lot of times when we set a goal we are not sure about it initially. We seek opinions from other people about it so that we do not make a mistake in our life. And it is not wrong if you want to know its pros and cons, but if you want appreciation and approval from other people, then it is wrong. You should not seek social support because it shows lack of confidence and a lack of ability to make decisions for yourself. A person who needs other people’s support is weak and weak people do not triumph.
#4. Talk About It WIthout Excitement
If you couldn’t resist yourself from telling your friend about it, then make sure that you do not sound sure of it. Talk like it is no big deal for you and then the other people will not take it seriously as well. Tell them that you have other plans as well so that they do not expect a result from you from the goal that you are sharing. Talk about it without excitement or great interest. If you just want other person’s opinion, then it is the best way to talk. They will not think that you are going after it. You could also inform the friend by saying that one of your friends has set the goal. You can have an indirect conversation as well.
#5. Think Of The Consequences
Before you go on to speaking to someone about your goals, think of the consequences. The reasons and the aftermaths have been discussed above. So, think about them before you go on to spilling the beans. You could lose your interest in your goals, or the person can get jealous. People can do a lot of things in jealousy. They may hurt you to stop you from getting close to your dreams. They may pretend to be on your side, but they will try to lure into other things to distract you away from your goals.
Do you always share your goals with your friends and family? Has sharing discouraged you from working towards your goals? Should you really keep your goals to yourself? Share your views in the comments section below.
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