How much Freedom should Parents give their Kids?

All parents want to protect their children from harm with some parents holding their children on a tight leash and others giving them more room to experiment and express. No matter how authoritative the parents are, they always wish good for their children and want the experience they have gained to benefit their children which the children may feel impinges on their freedom and is too controlling.  

Parents need to sit down with their child and discuss the meaning of freedom; what it is and that for some things they will always rely on their parents no matter how independent they get. When a child grows up, the wish to rebel against the surroundings comes on fairly quickly and so does the awareness of how others around them behave. A lot of parents need to understand and practice what they think is good for their child as children learn from behavior quicker than they learn from words and commands.  

Why You Should Give Your Kids Freedom?

# 1. They Will Learn From Failure  

It is very easy to give in to the impulse and help your child preventing him/her from failure, but you need to understand that it can deter their ability to excel because every time they are going to fail, you stop them from feeling the pain of failure and continue to make their life easy. Our response to failure determines our character and personality, so your kid needs to fail all by himself/herself in order to taste the sting of reality and then harness the pain to prevail. Don’t forget, there is nothing like failure to motivate a person, and sure you are not the kind of parent who doesn’t understand the difference between failure and harm. If your kid is burning matchsticks and is going to put them in his/ her mouth, you must stop it.  Whereas if they insist on participating in an amateur race where they may hurt themselves but will also get the reward if they win, you must encourage them to participate.

#2. It Makes Them Come To You  

A lot of parents put restrictions on their children by telling them to do this and not do that even telling them that they can go a certain path and they cannot go a certain path. All this has become more or less invalid with the widespread use and access to the internet. Kids don’t need their parents for information anymore only it’s interpretation so that they can apply it to their best interest and don’t act on the first thing they read. It is a different approach to the one their grandparents took, but equally important as your kids don’t have the exposure and practical contact with reality to foresee the consequences of the action. The parents who respect the boundaries of their children, know that some doors are dangerous while others are harmless to allow their children more freedom than others. This approach will ensure that your child comes to you whenever there is a cry for help instead of going to anyone else.  

#3. Freedom Builds Trust  

The relationship between kids and parents is a very difficult one as it has to stand the test of time and heal every time something or the other have damaged it. One sure way to build trust and know that your child is not likely to take the wrong step is to speak about your own experiences from when you came close to success only for it to evade you or about the time you accomplished something you never thought was possible. Every child will have a life trajectory, and it will serve him/ her better to know yours so that when they can’t resist the impulse to rebel against you, they rebel against the wrong parts driving themselves with the passion for doing it right. Also, it will help them open up to you about thing their friends made a big deal of and imparted the understanding that whatever it is, can be discussed with their parents. 

#4. Forgiveness Comes From Freedom  

What is the probability of a child doing new things who has to act a certain way and obey the commands of his/ her parents at all times? Freedom in the truest sense of the word means the power to write, think or act in the way one wants. Kids like adults can also be at odds with their wants, they may want something on a particular day and not want it the next day. They should not be scolded for being fickle when the things they change frequently are not highly significant that is they can be picky about what they eat and what they wear to how they want to spend their weekend. However, they cannot be fickle-minded after a point about things that one has to be serious about in order to sustain their life. So, allowing them room for experimentation early on will surely quell the impulse to take on similar things later on in life as they would have already reaped the satisfaction of tasting the upside and downside of freedom. When something they take on in the name of freedom does not end the way they wanted it to end, it can create a rift within themselves where they may blame or hate themselves. Forgiveness from parents helps a great deal in overcoming the despair and forgiving our mistakes.  The lesson of forgiveness makes for strong self-esteem. 

#5. Forgiveness Prevents Estrangement  

The worst thing parents can do is scare their own children by showing them that if they don’t walk a tightrope or don’t fall in line with views that their parents deeply regard and live by, they will be seriously punished or even treated as a stranger in their own house. As parents, we deeply care about the life we are providing to our child. However, we do care for objects in our possession sometimes less and sometimes more than our loved ones in the house. It is one of the most difficult lessons to teach your children that is that you deeply care for them but will not tolerate action which is taken with the mindset that whatever they do will inspire love in you or the other one where whatever they do, will get a reprimand from you. Show them the extent of your forgiveness and help them learn where you draw the line.  

#6. Don’t Send Mixed Signals  

One of the easiest ways to confuse kids or anyone for that matter is to say something other than what you practice. It gives the impression that you constantly attack yourself over what you do and have convinced yourself that you are something other than your daily actions. This will breed insecurity and instability among kids, and they may force themselves to maintain a view which tells them that sticking to a particular thing for a long time is not a good practice. The values and principles you want to teach your kids are best imparted when they judge you over and over again, and your consistency stays put. This can make them call you boring or predictable, but as long as this behavior is providing stability to your family, your children will not have too much trouble achieving stability themselves. This will also tell them that they are free to chart their own course, but when they have gathered all, they will never turn their back on the hard work they did to get there.  

#7. There Is No Scientific Answer For Success 

A lot of parents teach their kids that money is important and when they fail to pursue their teenage passion, they must haul themselves from the disappointment and work towards achieving the security that will last them the rest of their lives. Our risk-taking abilities go out for a toss when we tell ourselves that now it is time to settle and have security in life. There is nothing wrong about it, and most people can see their life out like this, but these people are not insanely ambitious. Parents who acknowledge this will stop pressurizing their children to be a certain way and tell them to look up and out and not down and in. Do not mince any words when it comes to encouragement and make them familiar with the maxim that there is no scientific answer for success; you have simply got to do it and live it. Freedom of thought and action is most important for your children to live their lives and their own success story.  

# 8. Rude Awakenings Are Necessary  

No man has all pleasant experiences in life, and the later one has a rude awakening, the harder it is for them to deal with it. The struggle is a very important part of success, and one has to go through many hardships in order to reach the top. Whenever we form a plan in our mind that we are looking to execute it does not always bring out results that we hope for but the courage to make other attempts like this can dwindle if we become disheartened. Kids who keep seeing freedom as freedom despite not making it big are the ones who have learned from their rude awakenings. They may change their strategy to persist with their plan or accept that what they are trying to do is out of their reach right now but will never mourn the lack of freedom in life and are able to handle things better than others. All parents dream of raising independent kids so being overprotective and monitoring them too much won’t do it. The most you can do is tell them about things which are a strict no and discover their own right and wrong along the way.  

Tell us how much freedom you give your children. Drop a comment in the comment sections below.

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