How to ask for What You Really Want?

Why do we not ask for what we want? What cost do you have to pay to ask for what you really want or need? A great asker is an artist probably because you need to have some artistic qualities in order to ask for what you want. There could be possible some magical art behind it that allow people to get exactly whatever they want. But the question still stands tall, what should be done in order to get what you want. As they say, it is never selfish to think about yourself first. It's self-love or self-full. Self-love is virtuous. So you should ask for what you want. However, you do not need to become people pleaser in order to do that.  

You must have felt overwhelmed, resentful, frustrated, appreciated and what not. You just want to get what you deserve for that situation, but what if you don’t? You will feel as people are not valuing you the way you should be valued. Your contributions and high opinion were not appreciated enough? The ideal situation should be that you should get whatever you want without even asking for it. However, you will have to ask for it if you aren’t getting it otherwise. So you are your only savior. The lack of requests can make you resentful, frustrated and overwhelmed. 

Have you ever witnessed yourself wrestling with your own emotions? The reason behind this fight is because you are not asking enough from the people around you. Let us now see how can you really work upon it to ask what you want.

#1. First Of All, Know What You Actually Want

This is a very obvious step that you need to take in order to to be certain that what you exactly want. You really need to know what are the exact things you want in that specific situation. Take enough time to figure out your priorities and preferred things in life, personal life or even at work for that matter. The more clear you will be about your dream, the better you will be able to ask for it or get it. Once you know what are you looking, it is easier to ask for it.

#2. Then Figure Out The Reasons Why You Want That

You need to ground yourself to ensure that why you want it. Before you ask for something, know clearly what are the reasons that you want to possess that particular. Check yourself and your motives behind asking for that. How is it going to satisfy you? How is it of your use? Is there something that you deeply believe in? Ask all these questions to yourself and realize why you want to do it. Much of your work is strongly connected to your will. To ask a human for something needs a specific reason for that, that to a genuine one.

#3. Know And Communicate Your Position

Also, knowing the boundaries of your position is extremely important. You never know, the thing you want might be yours, but you do not know your boundaries and hence, are not able to get it. Consider the position of your mind. There will be many people who will try and change your mind, but your job is to stick to your position. Do not get manipulated by others because you may lose the thing you want because of this. Communicate your position as well. Let people know your position elaborately and the things you want to have. Everyone, not necessarily will walk on you, someone will understand and take it.

#4. Ask For Whatever You Feel Should Be Yours

You actually have to ask for whatever you feel belongs to you. It is very simple that you will ask and then you will probably get it. Standing back and hoping that you might get it will not help you in any case. Too many people lose the things they want just because they do not ask for it. Spend time in communicating your ideas and sharing the things you believe to achieve. You need to put the problem out in order to get it fixed in your benefit. Before people help you, it is important for you to help yourself.

#5. You Need To Forget Hints And Be Clear & Direct

You really need to make it ridiculously clear that this is the particular thing you want and you will do whatever it takes to get it. Be direct about what you want and why you want it. Your desires will be overlooked if you will not be direct and specific. Vague demands are never entertained. The shortest route to get what you want is to ask for it very clearly and directly. Giving hints will not help you in this situation. Hinds just can't cut it. Making a general comment will give only the idea to people. It is so much better to be clear and crisp.

#6. Be Selective And Targeted

Thousands of things or anything which have thousands of reasons will be not understood properly. Also, it is very important that who you ask for it. You just can’t ask anybody for the things you want. Limitations bind many of the people in your network; therefore you need to be very selective about the people you talk or ask the things you want. Do not just ask anybody and everybody that you desire, to possess this. Just be selective and choose the right people to give the right information. The more specific you become, the more chances will be to get what you want.

#7. Others Are Not Mind Readers, Stop Assuming That

Complaining unnecessarily about your problems that are not getting solved is not worth it. People cannot read your mind. You need to be really specific and tell people what you actually want. Stop assuming that people will figure out themselves and then your problem can be solved. This is a very crucial problem that people have as they are hesitant to ask themselves and instead, began to assume that the other people already know that and not wishing to help. Our boss, friend, colleague or parents will never know anything by themselves. You need to open up and tell them that you want something like this.

#8. Do Not Dilute While Asking And Be Bold

The reality is the less you will ask, the less you will get. Therefore it is very important not to dilute yourself to ask whatever you want to. The more courage you will have to ask for what you want, the chances are that you will get exactly that. If you will not have the guts to ask for your wishes, then there is no point to ask. If you are getting less than what you want just because you couldn’t ask, there can’t be a worse thing than this. Know your worth and ask accordingly because if you accept less than what you deserve then you will never succeed.

#9. Don’t Take ‘No’ So Serious, Try Even Harder

Let us all face it! None of us gets whatever we want for the very first time. Therefore, do not take “no” as a sign of failure or defeat. You can work and try harder to get what you want. If you want a promotion or something from your father, do you think you will ask and it will serve on the plate? Rarely seen! Isn’t it? Do not take a personal rejection if you did not get something you wanted at once. Just stand tall and strong and work harder. Accepting your defeat after a ‘No’ will be a failure bigger than the last one.

#10. More Than What You Want, Be Specific Of What You Don’t Want

There should be a rule in your life, that you should not be accepting what you genuinely cannot tolerate. There should be some boundaries of everyone’s life. If you think that something you can’t tolerate and the other person is asking you to do, do not do that. Be specific about the things you can’t tolerate more than the things you want. Ask yourself, what are the specific things that you can’t tolerate? You must set your boundaries and follow them.

This was our guide with which you can ask for whatever you want confidently. Let us know your thoughts about this in the comment section below.

(Images Courtesy: 1. Mens XP, 2. YouTube, 3. Business Insider, 4. VBAC Facts, 5. Medium, 6. Medium; Meeting Result(Featured Image Courtesy)