Parenting is a mammoth task that must be done in a planned and careful way. One wrong step and you’re toast. The repercussions are terrible and affect the bond. Guiding one’s own kid is relatively easy. Impediments creep in when you have to attend to the needs and desires of stepkids. Relationship with stepchildren must be dealt with kid gloves, else things fail through, out and out.
The role of managing stepkids comes with a ton of responsibilities and the stigma. The lack of emotional thread between the parents and stepkids becomes the sole reason for tumultuous relation. Maintaining relationship with stepchildren is a hard nut to crack, but the mission is not unattainable. With certain efforts and unconditional love, one can earn respect and love from stepkids.
How To Build A Positive Relationship?
Positive relationships are not built overnight; it takes continuous effort and cautious planning. Stepparents and step kids have an uncertain relationship which has no certain future; it is but through the sanguine approach that the relationship becomes stronger with time. Here are some of the points in which parents can build a positive relationship with their stepkids:
#1. Try To Comprehend Your Stepchild’s Views
Children are very unpredictable and they can go awry with their conduct in no time if ignited. Parents should consider the behavioral patterns of their stepkids in order to have a better understanding of the child. Relationships with stepkids can go smoothly if you get the picture of their ideas.
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#2. Do Not Expect High
High expectations always lead to disappointments, so you must give your stepchildren freedom, do well to them in every situation without expecting anything in return. Relations fail if you set a bar too high of expectations because that amounts to nada if you get the results otherwise.
#3. Give Time
Things take time to transpire, parents and children have no time to bond at the rate of notes. Parents should ponder on giving time to the stepkids so that they get accustomed to the new environment and do not feel awkward.
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#4. Participate In Their Life
It is unfair to leave the stepkids at the hands of fate and destiny. Stepparents ought to connect with children considering their interests and pastimes and should try to enjoy with them and partake along with them, so that it builds confidence in the kids as well and they get positive vibes.
#5. Converse With Stepkids
Silence is golden – but silence can cause major differences when it comes to relationship with kids. Parents can get into confabulations with children so that they can be au fait with their interests, hobbies, and preferences.
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How To Bond With Stepchildren?
Stepparents, at times, go through the motions of reluctance and apprehensions which keep them away from interacting with the stepkids. They should go with a positive outlook and approach in order to make a connection with stepchildren.
#1. Let Them Spend Time With Biological Parent
Do not meddle in the affairs of a biological parent and your stepkids. Provide them the appropriate space so that the stepkids do not think that you interfere in his or her personal matters.
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#2. Be Friends
If parents are friends with their stepkids and share things, laugh heartily with them, go out for movies together, kids feel loved and reciprocate it in the form of respect. So friend-zone them and chat nineteen to the dozen on a mélange of topics to get a slice out of their life.
#3. Maintain Good Relations With Spouse
Backbiting and complaining about your stepkids cause bitter differences. This can affect your relationship with the spouse as well. Considering your relation and the stepkids relation on different levels, try to be supportive and lend him or her a helping hand as and when required.
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#4. Involve Stepkids In Family Dos
When parents involve their stepkids in family gatherings and functions, a child becomes secure and feels a part of the family. If you do not tend to his needs and distance him or her away from the family traditions, the kid feels ostracized and neglected. Relationships with stepchildren if nurtured well can yield fruitful results.
#5. Pay Them Attention
If you remain nonchalant and carefree, stepkids go the wrong way and tread the direction which drags them towards chaos. Therefore parents must pay heed to the kids, understand them, talk to them about things they like, take cues from them and work accordingly. They won’t give a hoot if they find your attitude bad. The concern is very important in relationships.
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How To Parent A Stepchild?
“Blending a family is like a dish that takes a long time to cook.” – Molly Barrow
It is, by degrees, that you get acquainted with your stepkids. Once you decide to take up the gauntlet, you can surely succeed with some of the things stated below :
#1. Organize Family Get-Togethers
The family does help you connect with your kith and kin, you get to socialize with people having different interests and mindset. Your child will love to be part of gatherings and would feel important having claimed a particular space in the whole family.
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#2. Do Not Go Fast
Slow and steady wins the race, it is absolutely true in that if you hurry and go strong on the kid, things can ruin owing to some wrong steps taken in haste.
#. Don’t give lavish presents just to gain love.
#. Attend his or her school
#. Learn their habits slowly
#3. Don’t Sermonize
Preaching on different subjects can irk the child. When parents give uninvited suggestions and recommendations on a roll without knowing the child’s mindset and emotions, children do not pay attention to them. Be light on your stepkids, do not coerce them into doing something you like.
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#4. Love Them Equally As Your Own Kids
Parents tend to be partial which, in turn, causes gaps in the relationships with stepchildren. Stepkids should be conditioned, nurtured, educated, treated equally. If you’re biased, the kids will never accept you and will always look down on you.
#5. Teach Good Manners
A well-mannered person is respected everywhere. If you teach your stepkids good manners, ethics, virtues of life and morals, he or she will grow up to be a good and virtuous person and you would earn accolades for that. Nothing better than the praise heaped on you with a label of being a real parent than a step parent.
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#6. Talk To Their Friends
Going out with your stepkid’s pals, enjoying their company, inviting them home for lunch and dinners is a key to the healthy relationship between you and your stepkids. Parents get a wind of what is coming about in the lives of their kids and they can know them well with the aid of their friends as friends are someone with whom children and almost everyone shares things which he/she thinks cannot be discussed at home.
#7. Develop Trust
If you teach your stepkids, to be honest, they would share and interact with you about almost everything. They will look for solutions for their problems. You can connect to them and when you present your true self instead of a garb or deceit, the child gets confident and feels good in your company.
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There you have it, all the essential pointers to keep in mind while you connect with your stepchild on a personal level. If you have opinions on how to bond with the stepchildren, kindly share your views in the comments section below. We're all ears!
