How to Build Self-Confidence & Self Esteem?

2,250 Views Updated: 11 Dec 2017
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How to Build Self-Confidence & Self Esteem?

If you're old enough, you must have come across two kinds of people- the negative ones and the positive ones. If you want to know the difference, just ask them to do something- the first one will give you an instant NO, while the other one would happily accept the work and reply with a YES. The difference between the two is the self-confidence, one lacks it and the other has an abundance of it. Some people always give a negative reply to anything like “I don’t think I can do it” or “I’m sorry I can’t do it”. The lack of self-confidence or faith in themselves makes them doubt their own potential. And this negative attitude towards life often leads to depression, loss of opportunities to excel and overcome the various situations in life. Whereas there are people who never give up, they take failure as an opportunity to learn from it, and do better next time and never give up unless they try it. The Go-Getter attitude towards everything helps people, and there are many examples of the same in the world, namely Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and other prominent people are good examples you should read about.

So, if you have a plan to lead a successful and happy life, learn to say YES to challenges rather than succumb to the pressure. Don’t give up unless you try, and keep trying till your last breath if you know it’s right and really want it to happen.

What Is Self Confidence And Why Is It Important

Many confuse self-confidence with self-esteem, however, self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same, they have striking differences that may help you to understand the difference.  

Self-confidence is when know you believe you can do it if you try instead of giving up. Self-confidence is having a positive perspective towards the future, which gives you the courage to take up risks and achieve your personal and professional goals.

Self Confidence

Whereas, Self-esteem, on the other hand, is the terms which a person lives by to maintain his/her self-respect and may differ from person to person. The personal values which make you different from others, a personality trait that helps you praise yourself, your beliefs, your appearance, your emotions, and your behavior sets you apart from the rest and differentiates your superior quality.

Self-confidence is knowing your capabilities and take up challenges to succeed in life with a positive mindset that helps you overcome any challenges in your life. Whereas, self-esteem is the respect that you have for yourself, not doing things which will hurt your sentiments or your beliefs, leading a life on certain conditions, knowing you can do it but won’t because it’s not right, or restricting actions that are against your self-respect.  

Both of them are equally important, but either of the two at the extreme high and low ends of the spectrum can be damaging. A balanced self-confidence and self-esteem can lead you to the success you’ve dreamt of.  

The good news is, both self-confidence and self-esteem can be improved or gained through by following certain steps, if you’re ready to follow it.  

How To Build Self Confidence And Self Esteem 

Below are the steps to build up your lost or hidden self-confidence and self-esteem.

How To Build Self-Confidence

#1. Stay Away From Negativity And Bring On The Positivity 

Whenever it comes to negative thoughts, it's better to stay away. Thus, if you feel they are occupying your brain, start doing something to keep them away. It's true that your surroundings affect your personality. Try to build up a positive environment around you by staying in the company of positive people.

negative people

#2. Do Things To Boost Your Confidence

Dress up nicely, wear good clothes and talk to people. Groom yourself properly, a shave and a shower can make a huge difference in your self-confidence. These activities have nothing to do with your appearance, but dressing up well and proper grooming will make you more conscious about your appearance and will make you feel better and boost your confidence instantly up a few notches.

#3. Take Up Challenges And Identify Your Talents

The more you know about yourself, the higher your self-confidence grows. So, in a bid and quest to reach the apex of your self-confidence levels, start taking challenges positively. Figure out what you can do and things which you can't, it's only possible when you start venturing on a journey of self-exploration by taking simultaneous challenges. Just for an example, most youngsters get scared when they drive for the first time, but once they get behind the wheels, then there's no looking back.


#4. Don't Give Up Unless You Try

Don't give up on things before you try them. Prepare and aware yourself for the worst case scenario and you'll never say NO to any challenge. If you need some inspiration, read about the story of Robert Kearns, the man who invented the windshield wiper, and his legal battle against one of the biggest Automobile Manufacturer Ford Limited. Robert Kearns invented the windshield wiper and the Ford stole his invention leading to a legal battle between the entire FORD and Robert Kearns. Robert Kearns lost almost everything he had while fighting but he never gave up and got what was he deserved. He won the fight after a lot of hardship. Just imagine what would have happened if he never filed a complaint against FORD.

#5. Maintain A Positive Support Network. 

When you face failure or you break down, there will be two types of people- the ones who’ll constantly push you to try harder and motivate you, while the others will try to deteriorate your situation. So, find people who constantly motivate you and keep them with you forever.

positive support

#6. Be Stubborn To Failure And Shield Yourself From Negative Voices In Your Head

When Henry Ford said, "Failure is an opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." he wasn't wrong and he proved it. Not just Henry Ford, there are few more names like Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba Group, the parent company of popular mobile browser UC. If you read his story you'll find out about the failures that he faced, and how difficult was it for him. But today, Jack Ma is one of the richest man in the world. Such luminaries instill a feeling of achieving our goals no matter how hard they seem to be, they teach us not to give up and always keep trying.

And, if the voices in your head try to pull you down, surround yourself with strong determination and hope to shield yourself.

#7. Accept Compliments And Be Proud Of Your Achievements

Learn to accept compliments and be proud of yourself for what you have achieved even if it was really easy. The compliments make you feel good and boost your morale. But try to keep a balance. Optimum self-confidence is good but overconfidence can ruin you if you can’t handle it properly. So, next time when someone says, “Hey, you did well”, accept the fact that you were good.


#8. Look Things From Multiple Perspectives

The good side and the bad side are the two different perspectives of a single event which you need to look for whenever something occurs to you and pulls your morale down. Though there are much more, yet focus only on these two right now. Adding an extra perspective to everything that happens in your life will help you analyze the situation better and highlight the things that really matter than degrading your self-confidence.

#9. Keep Smiling

No matter how bad the situation is, keep smiling. If the situation is tough, smile more. As a result, one day all you’ll remember is your smiling face.

keep smiling

How To Gain Self Esteem

#1. Learn To Listen To Your Inner-Self 

We all have a soul inside us which is capable of making the right decision, no matter how difficult is the situation. And the best part is, it's a part of you. So, you never have to go outside and seek some counseling to reach to a conclusion. Just learn the art of soul conversation, and you're in good hands. Seek out peace whenever you feel you're low on confidence or stressed out and initiate a conversation with yourself. The answer will be right in front of you in minutes.

#2. Don't Let Anyone Hurt Your Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is like your child: timid and fragile. Take care of it as you take care of your child, don't let anyone hurt it. Once someone hurts your self-esteem, it will be very difficult for you to answer yourself.

#3. Deny The Existence Of Fear

Stop fearing the consequences of your action unless it hurt others. If you fear the consequences, you’ll hurt your self-esteem again and again, and the damage will be beyond repairs. It’s better to suffer a little by facing the consequences than letting your self-esteem hurt out of fear repeatedly.

#4. Forgive Yourself For What You Lack

It’s okay if you don’t know something, don’t let anyone tame or overpower you for that. There are many things which you know, focus on that and balance yourself with what you know.  

#5. Never Compromise With Your Self-Esteem

If something is against your beliefs, or if you feel something is not right and you’re forced to do it, then it’s better to give up than compromising with your self-esteem. Be like Lt. Nelson Mandela who is known for his self-esteem, and his firm belief on his ideologies. The man behind independent South Africa who stood firm and strong to end the practice of apartheid in the nation. 

#6. Get Rid Of Things That's Hurting Your Self-Esteem

Last but not the least, if you believe that being a part of something is damaging your self-esteem, leave them. Everything in this world has a replacement, except for the broken self-esteem.  


Self-confidence and self-esteem are your biggest personality assets, these are the things you’ll be known for. So, if you have one, then don’t let anyone steal it from you with their actions. We hope you liked the article, let us know using the comments if you really did.  

(Image Courtesy: 1. Visual Meditation, 2. Sharon Strokes, 3. Experts, 4. Womenpia, 5. European, 6. Fanpop, 7. Pixabay; Abdullah (Featured Image Courtesy)

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