“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” - Unknown
Relationships are difficult, no matter if they are personal or professional. And in case, there arises some sort of difficulty, communication or confrontation, it can lead to pain and worry along with anger or anxiety. But, each time that we face our fears are the times when we gain strength, confidence as well as courage. Confrontations feel like impossible challenges, but they also give us the power to get things smoothly on the right track.
However, the right moment never comes. We are the ones responsible for creating the moment. What do we do next is speak up and at least be true to our own selves. But, how exactly can we really address someone directly as well as proactively in the circumstances where it is necessary and in the right manner? Let us tell you!
#1. Prepare Yourself For Confrontation
There is not just one thing but several aspects which you will have to keep in mind before confronting anyone. Make sure that you are able to clearly identify the reason why you need to confront the other person. Understand that confrontation is not about starting a fight, but is about effectively addressing an issue and also coming to a resolution. Next, you need to evaluate your own thoughts and feelings to separate these at a later stage. Emotions do not allow your brain to take a rational decision. This kind of an analysis also helps you not to throw in any frustrations that have been bottled up since long.
Also, make sure that you know what exactly to say and how to talk. Maybe you can note down the questions to avoid any confusions or misunderstanding in a particular situation. And at the end, just picture yourself finding a resolution. When you visualize yourself that way, it gives you more power to confront the person in an acceptable manner. It helps you move towards the outcome and make the conversation a productive one.
#2. Show The Willingness To Listen
You must have heard a thousand times that one should also be a good listener. But, how many times do you actually pay attention to this advice? You are there at the moment just to react; however, you should respond with utmost serenity and have a willingness to listen to the other side before preparing your answers.
Always remember that any conversation that you want to make productive will involve responding as well as listening. And most of the times, we forget to listen when we are confronting someone. We try to get off the focus from the wrongdoings, and that is how the conversation derails from its path. It actually dwells into yet another argument that sooner or later you will have to deal with.
#3. Confront Them When You Are Not Angry
Yes, it is pretty essential for you to confront someone the right way which includes being calm in that very minute. In the heat of the moment, we tend to speak out things that aren't meant to be or are hurtful. We might not even mean them, but they just ruin the situation. However, if you give yourself the time to cool down and remove the tensions from the equations, you are less likely to turn anger into a massive argument. Therefore, be calm and composed and do not confront the other person in a wrong manner. The right way always involves being courteous enough to listen to what the other person has to say. And say your points with composure.
#4. Follow The O-H-D (Open, Honest, And Direct) Rule
“Integrity is telling my own self the truth. However, honesty is telling the truth to other people.” - Spencer Johnson
Whenever you decide to confront someone, make sure that your conversation is pretty open, honest as well as direct. You would not want to create any misunderstandings, but you would definitely like to attempt a mature conversation related to the issue. What you will have to keep in mind is not to throw insults or inflammatory comments while confrontation. Make your viewpoints heard and respected. Apply discretion as much as possible and make sure to take the circumstances towards positive outcomes at the end.
#5. Stand By Your Point, But Also Expect A Defensive Attitude From The Other Side
While confronting the other person, make sure that you stay firm with your beliefs if they are absolutely correct. You are confronting a person for a reason; hence it is important for you to stick to your points. Keep in mind that yes, your opinions do matter and they are worth putting forward.
But no matter what happens, be prepared for a defensive behavior to be displayed from the other side. It is very much likely for the other person to not feel pleasant if they assume this to be a personal attack. Therefore, even when you will be making a valid point, they may not support you or agree with your views. So, remember that it is easy to give rise to an argument with a defensive person, but your task is not to do so. This is surely not going to make the situation productive in any way.
#6. Know When Exactly You Should Confront
When you have decided to confront someone regarding a certain issue, just make sure that you also know when is the right time to confront them. You may want to confront someone when the problem area is recurring. So, keep in mind that one way you can find this out is through the Rule of 3. It is considered that someone who performs a negative activity thrice or more than that, it is time for confrontation.
So for instance, someone is in the habit of forgetting their wallet whenever they come for an outing and this behavior has happened thrice, the situation is probably worth a confrontation. You will have to approach them, if the problem starts burying you underneath. Maybe if they are taking you for granted, or they are intentionally undermining your personality, it is time to confront the person and discuss the issue. But, also beware of a potential threat that the other person can pose. You want the issue to not escalate any further, and you may not want someone to harm your safety. So, make sure that confrontation does not take a toll on your happiness or security.
#7. You Don't Need To Sweat Out On The Small Stuff
Sometimes, the issue that is bothering you might not even be that important like how you have been assuming it to be. Confronting someone, issue after issue would definitely backfire, and in return create even more stressful situations. Therefore, it would be productive enough for you to focus on maintaining the positivity within the two of you and let things go as smooth as possible. Try and if possible, just skip the battle and maintain that respect for each other. Stress and stressful situations come and go, what stays on forever are those relationships, affection, and care!
#8. What To Say When You Confront Someone?
You really need to know in advance about the responses you will be letting out. Be very straightforward with your approach and do not allow the previous incidences to keep lingering. Precisely focus on the things that have happened in the recent past because of which you had to confront the person. Explain your reasons and listen to their responses. Perhaps, there might be something that you will have to learn. Be gentle with your choice of words and sentences. Stand for the truth. And if you will be able to deal with the situation in an absolutely effective manner, you will feel proud of the outcome!
#9. Hope For The Best But Also Be Prepared For The Worst
This is one advice that I usually keep giving to those people who are always hoping for the best - be prepared for even the worst to happen. Not that I am pushing them towards the negative side, but just that one should move forward with a balanced approach and keep in mind several precautionary measures.
Confrontations come with multiple risks, but also with the ideal reward that you might have thought of. So, before you take the decision of going head on head, make sure to also consider the worst case scenario. You cannot really control what happens to you at times. But all you can do is to be accountable for your own actions as well as responses as no one else is going to do so. Hope that the best may happen while confronting someone. But, also be prepared for the worst as you have no idea how the situation might just flip ridiculously.
Liked what you just read? Want to read more such informational stuff? Or would you like to share any of your personal experiences/ opinions? Let us know through the comment section below. We would love to hear from you!
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