Perhaps most would agree that stubborn people are the most difficult ones to deal with. They do not listen to what you have to say and are never ready to admit that they are wrong. Dealing with a stubborn person is like talking to a wall where whatever you say comes back without making any impact on the other person. Another problem is that they are over-sensitive towards their views and take offense whenever somebody suggests a different opinion.
Behavior experts explain stubbornness as a personality trait in which an individual refuses to alter his opinion regarding a situation or refuses to change his mind about a decision that he has made. They adhere to their ideas and opinions no matter what and nobody can make them think otherwise.
While none of us likes to get into a discussion with a stubborn person, since every discussion for them is a heated argument, there are times that the circumstances are unavoidable. So, how would you handle a conversation with a stubborn person and convince them that you are right? Here are some tips that can help.
#1. Start With Flattery
How you want to start your interaction with a stubborn person is by stroking their egos; that is of course if you want to win the discussion. Never begin by telling them that they are wrong and let them know that their opinions are being valued. Telling them that they are wrong up front will make them alienate the dialogue and shut down completely. If you find any of their points right, make them a part of your opinion, so they know that you do acknowledge the things they say. This will especially help if the person you are dealing with is someone new, with whom you haven’t had much interaction.
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#2. Pick Your Moment
If you are dealing with a stubborn roommate or a partner, then be meticulous about when you want to get into the discussion. A reasonable person may act stubborn if he is not in the best of his moods and a stubborn individual may be open to ideas if you pick the right moments. Apart from the time when you want to discuss things, it is also crucial to zero in on the right place for it. You do not want to discuss a vital matter when you are in the kitchen and your partner is in the shower. Rather, pick a suitable place like the living room where you both can sit and raise your arguments in a healthy and positive way to come to a conclusion.
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#3. Play It Like A Game Of Chess
Whenever you get into an argument with a stubborn person, don’t take it as a normal conversation that you are having with a friend or acquaintance. Think of it as a game of chess where with one right move you can checkmate your opponent and a wrong one can take away your king. Be mindful of what you convey to the other person and strategically plan your entire conversation. “No, you are wrong” is the last thing you would want to say in an argument with a stubborn person. Instead, present your opinion with dignity and respect so as to avoid heated arguments.
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#4. Take A Break
When you are dealing with a stubborn person, the urge to engage in an argument is natural but that might worsen things up between the two of you. Besides affecting your relationship, the argument will also lead to frustration. Therefore, whenever you feel the discussion to be turning into an argument, take a break. Silence can be more effective than throwing your opinions at the other person in opening them up to new ideas. Whenever you feel your discussion to be slipping into an argument, it is better to take a break and calm your nerves down. Believe us, the wall standing in front of you is not worth getting worked up over. Also, taking a break could also help in throwing off the person off their game and help you take charge.
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#5. Take It As A Challenge
An argument with a stubborn person is a demanding task as well as a chance for you to test your emotional strength. People do not change overnight; so, rather than changing the perception of your opponent and proving them wrong, focus on how to put your point in the discussion in the best way possible. This will require a lot of patience, and that is where you are going to be tested. The thing about stubborn people is that they cannot see you win a discussion even when they know you are right. So, when they are about to be proven wrong, they try to break you down emotionally by making you lose your temper. A calm attitude and patience can be your key to convincing a stubborn person.
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#6. Never Attack
The thing about stubborn people is that they think they know everything and are easily offended when people tell them otherwise. They are even sensitive to the difference in opinion, considering it a personal attack even when you mean no harm. Therefore, if you start to actually attack, they will move into their shell and you will never be able to persuade them. Rather, be polite and firm, conveying your ideas to them in a humble way at the same time acknowledging the good ideas that they have and praising them for those. In a polite way, pick their every single point apart and prove yourself.
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#7. Get To The Bottom
More times than not, there is a reason that stubborn people are the way they are and it is usually either reward seeking or pain avoiding. It would be much easier for you to prove your point and persuade the other person when you know the actual reason behind the stubbornness. Sometimes, the case could simply be that the other person does not like to admit that they are wrong. In that case, make sure that the discussion stays about which point is right, and not who is. If they know that admitting your point will not make them stupid or dumb, they will readily accept your point.
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#8. Mind Your Pace
It does not take too long for a discussion to catch fire. Rushing things can only make them worse. Start slow and take ample time to understand what the person before you is saying and come up with the best response for it. Also, it is significant to give the other person the time to understand what you are trying to convey. Raining your opinions on them will make them go on the defensive mode. You will need to understand that a closed mind takes time to open up.
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#9. Change Yourself
You will have to understand it that this is not a regular situation where the person you are dealing with is open to ideas and respects your opinions. So, the attitude you generally keep is not going to help you here. Handling a stubborn person is not merely a challenge, but a chance for you to become a better version of yourself; calmer, more patient, confident and respectful than you have ever been. Change yourself and you might just see the stubborn individual changing his ways.
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#10. Explain How It Benefits Them
The reason that most people stick to their opinions in the first place is that their viewpoints are beneficial for them in some way, and that is rational. To get your viewpoint through to them, you will need to make them understand how the new idea is natural, reasonable and rewards them as well. If they see a way that bringing on a new idea or practice could help them in some way, it is very likely that they will readily accept it. If there is no direct way the new thought could help them, perhaps you could try a little bit of bribery.
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Well, this is how you handle a stubborn person and convince them that your point is right. The next time you come across a stubborn individual who isn’t ready to admit when he’s wrong, just keep these points in mind and strategize your conversation. You will be surprised to see how easy it became to persuade him. Can you think of other things that might help to deal with stubborn people? Great, share those with us through your comments in the section below. We would love to hear from you. If you are one of those hard-headed stubborn people, looking to drop the stubbornness, then here is something that can help.
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