How to have 'The Birds and the Bees' Talk with your Kids?

Being a parent may be the most joyous feeling in the world but it is also among the most difficult jobs on the planet, Earth. The responsibilities of a parent begin even before the child is born and these have no expiration date as well.

A parent’s life is laden with hardships as well as some embarrassing moments that never seem to end. But most parents would agree that the worst part of being a parent is teaching your kids about physical intimacy and reproduction. Yes, the dreaded 'birds and the bees' talk.

We understand how nerve-racking it can be for a father to talk to his teenage daughter about using protection or abstinence or a single mother to talk to her adolescent son about what goes where. But no matter how much uncomfortable the 'birds and the bees' talk may make you, it is something that you are going to have to go through if you are a parent.

That is why we are here today with some tips that might help you deal with this generations-old problem. You do not have to make the same mistakes that your parents made in their 'birds and the bees' speech and scar your child for life. Here are some simple tips that will help you get over with the 'birds and bees' talk with an 8-year-old.

#1. Decide What You Want To Discuss

Unless you want to make it real awkward for your son or daughter, throwing in your random words of wisdom about sexual intimacy and how kids come in this world, you would want to stick to a plan and walk a straight line regarding the topic of your discussion. Before you zero in on what exactly it is that you want to discuss, you must take into account the age of your child. You ought to hold off the talk about intercourse and reproduction till your child is 10 or 12 and some other topics for the teen years. You might also want to talk to your daughter about mensuration before she hits puberty, so she is ready when it actually hits.

(Image Courtesy: The Health Site)

#2. Take External Help

We know they call it a ‘talk’ but who said you cannot take help? Plus, you may not want to indulge in the conversation again so try to make it as easily understandable for your child as possible. And, what can help you in that is some additional content. Several children’s educational books regarding physical intimacy and how babies are made are available in the market as well as online. These can be an excellent option if you want a discussion to happen in a kid-friendly manner. Just ensure that the content you are using is not too graphic for your kid.

#3. Let Your Child Talk

Well, perhaps this might surprise you but your 8 or 9-year-old child, in all likeliness, knows about the art of lovemaking than you would expect him or her to. There may be something that he or she might have learned from friends or perhaps the school has already started the sex education class. So, when you talk birds and bees, do not just talk, listen as well. When you know what your child already knows, you can improve your teaching. What your child knows may be a little surprising to you but try to maintain your demeanor at that time as seeing a negative reaction, your child may hesitate from sharing with you in the future.

(Image Courtesy: Cone Health Medical Group)

#4. Do Not Try to Hide Stuff

We understand that some topics may be difficult for you to discuss with your child but those may also be the most crucial ones. Also, when it comes to the health of your child, you do not want to keep something hidden under the wraps. Kids can sense when you are trying to hide something from them, be it from the way you talk or from your body language. The feeling that something is a taboo or is only meant to be danced around can make them hesitant to come to you in future.

#5. Keep A Positive Attitude

We cannot emphasize more on how important keeping a positive attitude towards physical intimacy and this conversation is. Your attitude could be a determining factor in how your child looks at physical intimacy all his life and how he or she is going to feel talking about the birds and the bees with you in future. Your child might say some things that might surprise you, or the conversation may not go as smoothly as you planned and never lose your composure in the middle of it. The idea behind the birds and the bees talk is to educate your kids about sexual intercourse, not create a good or bad aura around it.

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#6. Call It As It Is

What often happens is parents give private parts amusing names that make the talk almost a cartoon story for the kids and instead of learning from it, they take it as just another boring tale. According to experts, using the correct names for body parts will help you create comfort with your child’s body, as opposed to shame. In addition to that, giving nicknames to private parts also builds sort of a mystery rather than building an open environment. Secrecy is not a good thing, especially when your child is in his or her adolescent years.

#7. Let Your Child Ask Questions

We know; this is the worst part, right? Kids do not just want to know where the babies come from, but sometimes they want to write a research paper on private parts, and sometimes they want to just get over with the conversation as soon as possible. If you are stuck in the latter situation, try to make your child comfortable so he or she can ask you questions regarding intercourse and reproduction without hesitation. You may also want the conversation to end right then and there, but that is not going to do you much good, is it? What is the benefit of this conversation if your kid does not get the required answers? For that, make sure there is a comfort level and a positive tone is maintained in the discussion since its beginning.

(Image Courtesy: Parents Magazine)

#8. Do Not Underestimate The Power Of A Good Setting

When having the birds and the bees talk with your child, it is very easy to throw them out of their comfort. The setting or the location you choose to have this conversation can play a crucial role in keeping them relaxed and open. The first thing to keep in mind here is that you want to carry this out in private so you and your child can share personal thing without hesitation. Experts suggest that when having the birds and the bees talk with a boy, it is better to indulge in some kind of activity like playing with the ball or doing the dishes. Eye contact can be a deal breaker in this case so other activities like going for a walk or something similar can also be a good option.

#9. Do Not Overshare

You might be surprised to see this point, especially since we told you not to hide anything from your child earlier, but you need to understand the difference between the two. While you do need to be open to your child about various sex topics, there are things you should let them figure out on their own. For instance, if you are getting into the bird and the bees talk with your 8-year-old child, explaining where babies come from, you do not want to present a graphic picture. There is a time and age for everything. Just make sure that your child is satisfied with the provided information.

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#10. Always Keep The Door Open

The last thing that you would want to do while having the birds and the bees talk with your kid is making them understand that they can come to you whenever they want to talk. It is not a crash course that they do once and get it over with. Your kids are going to keep learning about sex from school, friends and various other sources. So, it would be better if they came to you to discuss things rather than doing something rash. Keep yourself available so your kids can come to you at any point to discuss the things that they have on their mind.

Lastly, we would like to suggest that you have the birds and the bees talk on a regular basis as you can’t expect them to act responsibly at a fragile age. Indulging in the birds and the bees talk now and then can help you make sure that your child will not forget what you have taught him. But just do not overdo it and embarrass your child. Teach them that they have to be responsible and there is a lot at stake here; that there are unfavorable consequences that they might have to face if they are careless.

What do you think about the article? Did we have some useful points? Have you had the bird and the bees talk with your child? How did it go? How did your child react, and was it comfortable for you? Tell us through your comments in the dedicated section below. We would love to hear from you.

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