To a certain degree, tension amongst kids and parents is somewhat said to be normal. You may struggle to maintain a harmonious balance, but one day you might just make the circumstances seem right. But if you are not able to rate your relationship a 10 on 10, then the situation might not be normal.
You might have tried multiple times, yet nothing seems to mend. If this is really your case, then leave it on us for we have tried and tested solutions to bring about a change in the relationship. Therefore, here is how you can better the relationship with your parents and just any family member.
If you are the one who has struggled enough and is still struggling to improve the relationship with your parents, then it is time to find newer techniques to make the change. Parents are the people in our lives who we did not look forward just for monetary help, but they were also there to love us unconditionally and act as our guiding stars. But as time starts to dwell and we become adults, adolescence starts to fade and the relationship becomes pretty sore and dull. So, here are a few pieces of advice to improve the relationship with your parents.
#1. Talk To Them
Genuine communication increases your chances of maintaining a better relationship with your parents. Talk to them as a friend of yours. Half of the problems gets resolved when each one of you is willing to communicate your thoughts and emotions. This is one way you can make the relationship more dynamic. At the end of the day, they are your parents, and no matter how uncomfortable things are, you can easily get to a solution. Just remember to stay calm and make sure you are on the way to rebuilding your trust.
Be open and be honest in at least every situation. Because when you are ready to listen to them is when even they will make the efforts to lend you an ear. Communication leaves a significant impact and let things flow in the right direction. So, just to maintain that positivity, make sure you talk to them more often and possess an optimistic behavior. Give them a smile, whenever you can, and you will observe how gradually there develops a positive aura.
#2. Respect Them
This is one aspect that each one of us has been taught throughout our lives. Respect is a two-way tunnel - the more you give is, the more you get! Our parents or for that matter each of the family members who are elder to us is wiser and also have more life experiences than us.
So just for that matter, it is our moral responsibility to deal with this child-parent relationship with utmost care, affection as well as respect. We might not agree on several issues as our perspectives do not match, but that does not allow us to become disrespectful towards their parenting style or our treatment towards them.
#3. Look Out For Trust
The first and foremost advice to improve your relationship with parents is to sustain the trust within. It is very much necessary for anyone to maintain a healthy two-way relationship. You need to earn their trust, and the similar thing needs to happen from their side as well. Once the foundation of trust is firmly built, things start to flow smoothly and naturally.
#4. Consider Their Perspective Too
We are not advising you to totally follow their beliefs in life. But just for the sake of it, try and at least consider their decisions and perspective for once and see how the relationship move towards the road of betterment. You don't have to necessarily go with their choice, but you will at least get to know about each other's viewpoints. If you want to initiate a bond of friendship, just try and get to know them like you would know any of your friends. Even if you keep fighting over petty issues, just stop at that very moment and imagine things from their perspective. Take a minute to look at things in their particular way. Even our parents have feelings and thoughts, all we need to do is just analyze what are those and act accordingly.
#5. Remember, They Are Humans Too!
As kids, we have always looked up to our parents when we needed answers to just anything in this world. But, as and when we start growing older, we assume that we are the knowledgeable ones and that parents are wrong due to huge difference and generation gap that takes a toll on our relationship. However, what we forget is that they are humans too. They can also make mistakes, and they can also undergo emotional trauma exactly like the rest of us. No one in the world was a born parent. They learned it gradually and made sure to do their best for their kids. So, the moment you let your mind and heart register this fact, it will automatically help you improve the relationship with your parents.
#6. Learn The Art Of Forgiveness
Now that you have understood that your parents too can make mistakes, it is time for you to also realize that we do not have to hold any grudges against them or their actions. One example that I would like to quote is from our childhood days. Just imagine the number of mistakes, and in fact blunders, we might have committed back in those days. What did our parents do in that situation and how did they react? They were calm and made sure that support is all that we got. Why can't children act the same? Why is it like adulthood absolutely washes off our etiquettes to deal with our parents? Why is it that we as children of our parents cannot have a forgiving heart and stop holding grudges? Try it once, and you will unfold the magic. No matter how brutally you might have ended the relationship, the broken trust and understanding can still be mended with your efforts.
#7. Do Not Over-React
Whatever your way of dealing is, what you don't have to forget is to maintain your cool in every situation. Overreacting is a sin. It ruins situations especially the delicate ones. So, if you are having an argument with your parents over something, make sure to put your thoughts forward in a very calm and polite manner. Tell them how you feel in a friendly way. This way, even if they are shouting, their tone will automatically lower down. It also shows that you are mature enough to handle such circumstances and that is how your parents will pay more attention to your perspective.
#8. Spend Some Time Away From Home
At times, all a relationship needs is a break! Yes, even if it is about you and your parents, you will have to consider the option of having a temporary timeout. You might be an adult and be spending almost 18+ years of your life under one roof with your family. So, this is why if your relationship is not getting better, try getting involved in other activities rather than staying at home stuck with your mom or dad all the time. It is not only necessary to improve your relationship with your parents, but also gives your own self a sense of responsibility towards your actions and improvement. Establish some space for all of you to breath!
#9. Keep Your Sense Of Humor Alive
I am telling this to you from my personal experiences, this advice works pretty well. Whenever you are dealing with your parents, and it is all about a difficult situation, laughter becomes a real life savior. It helps all of you to manage the stress levels and also helps you to break that circle of resentment and frustration, Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. And when you are not smiling, you are doing something wrong. But if you are, then you can easily get out of any situation in a jiffy.
#10. Change Your Own Self
Expecting the other person to change is kind of selfish. But, you can definitely bring about changes in your own behavior and manage the situation with ease. Hence, take the initiative if you see nothing coming from the side of your parents. Start with self-improvement, right away! Be appreciative of what your parents have done for you. Do not ever tell them that your upbringing was their duty. By saying this, you not only hurt their feelings but also question the relationship of a child with his/ her parents.
Be willing to define and create your personal identity in their eyes. Once you know how to go about, change the (family) relationship dynamics. Figure out the problematic area, do not let those uncertainties stay untouched and make sure to not ask for advice unless you really need them. Set your boundaries and stick to those. And at the end, just make sure that you are simply avoiding unnecessary conflict to keep the conversation mature.
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