Micromanaging your kids on every step of their and not providing them enough freedom can actually choke your child. Before your child finishes their puzzles, you do that for them is not going to really develop them to become the independent individual you want them to. It is really the time that you stop micromanaging your kids and let them fly in the direction they want to. Of course, a guiding hand is important. A guiding hand, however, should never turn into a rope that binds them into a bubble. Being the chopper blade for your kids is not going to work for them in the long run. The worried-driven cycle between parents and children screw up the relationship entirely. If you will nervously just overlook for the signs of insecurity in your child, it will restrict them to grow. The fears of helicopter parents are never stable. They try to fix the things that are not even needed.
What is it? A bird, a plane or oh! It is you, the helicopter parents. Before you become the shadow of your kids, you need to realize the consequences of the situation. You will be busy wiping your kid’s butt and will forget that how he is growing in the process. Sounds familiar? If you are becoming one of these parents, you should stop that habit right now. Managing our kids' life to jaw-dropping extremes or waiting on their foot and hand will land your kid to a comforting shell which will eventually make never break.
Whether you are training your kids for next Olympic or you are preparing their next reality show debut, helicopter parenting is the last method you should be opting. There are plenty of things that your kids need to learn by themselves. Creating a comforting shell for them will restrict them to get out of that shell for the lifetime. Therefore, you have got to stop. Think back about your time. You were probably playing unattended by your folks in your yard or even tried to make your own snack sometimes. Many of the parents nowadays have become a lot different because of the technological, social and economic factors. The parents of this generation have become protecting, or probably overprotective would be a better term. These powerful factors have transformed the parents to experts, or at least they claim. That is obvious that as a parent you are trying to provide them everything you can. However, too much of everything is not good as they say. Kids with overbearing parents end up having depression and anxiety.
A book named ‘Between Parents and Teenager’, published in 1969 written by psychologist Haim G. Ginott talked about overprotective parents for the first time. He said that the mothers keep hovering around like helicopters with their noise and hot air. After this, the term became the part of vernacular when it was deployed in a book that got published in 1990 named as ‘Parenting With Love and Logic’ written by a psychiatrist Foster W. Cline and a former school principal Jim Fay. Therefore, google search opted it in 2010 as ‘Helicopter Parenting.'
More than how did it came into books, it is important to acknowledge that it has come literally in the recent times that is affecting the parenting method a lot. Hovering by parents creates more obstacles in the path of the children rather than preventing them. Being parents, learning from such stances should be an ideal scenario. Stop looking for pieces of evidence to realize you are a helicopter parent and work upon it to provide your kids a better future and a companion as a parent. Let us talk about some ‘DON’Ts’ that should be considered for a better parenting experience.
#1. Do Not Try And Hover Over Your Child
First of all, you should stop hovering over your child. You should stop tying down your kid’s shoes or her dress. Let your kid take the challenges they can take according to their age level. It is not a good idea to just take control of your child’s life. Do not answer all the questions that your kids ought to answer. They will initially hesitate to take their own decisions, but gradually they will learn only when they will start doing it by themselves. Let them figure out the way sometimes to prepare them for the coming tasks.
#2. Do Not Put Your Dreams And Worries On Their Back
There are so many times that parents wanted to achieve something, but because of some reason they couldn’t. Therefore, they try and impose their dreams on their kids. In these kinds of situations, kids usually lack to explore their own interests and creativity. It is not necessary that your kids will have the same passions as you had a time. Let go of all those negative thoughts about their futures and let them live their present to the fullest. Let them opt for whatever they wish to have interest for. Restricting them in the present because of their future is the worse you can do to your kid.
#3. Stop Labeling Your Child
Negatively or even positively, stop labeling your child. If it is a positive labeling all the time it will create unnecessary overconfidence, that can harm a child in the future. Also, if you label them negatively, it will push them into a box with low self-esteem. Never introduce your kids as “the funny one” or “the pretty one.” If you initially label them as someone, they will never be able to get out of it. Also, it will be very difficult for them to create an individuality by themselves. Allow yourself and your child to imagine all possibilities.
#4. Do Not Make Your Child The Centre Of The Universe
Do not try to satisfy all your emotional needs for your child. Let them have their own life and have you too. If you make your child your universe, they won’t be able to have their own life. Trying to control your child is like treating them inhuman. You will restrict and limit the opportunities for them yourself. As a parent, you obviously want to see them grow, not lag behind. Therefore try and have control of their own life, at least some control that they need. Do not allow your concerns affect their life unnecessarily.
#5. Try To Accept If Your Child Is Different From You
If your child does not agree with what you are saying or doing, respect it or at least accept it. This is not a holy fact that your child will automatically only think like you. If you will always try to get into your child’s head, they won’t be able to have their own thoughts and opinions. In order to let them develop their own individuality, it is very important to let them be different. Do not shut their ideas and opinions just because you do not have the same beliefs. It will just limit them to think and make perspective.
#6. Let Your Child Deal With Their Struggle Where Needed
You do not have to solve all their problems. It will make them lethargic and irresponsible. With time you should let them face their own struggles. This can be the most difficult thing for a parent to do, of course. However, following this process will make your kid strong-headed and responsible. You want your kid to be independent, don’t you? Therefore, it is very important for you to let them handle their tasks themselves sometimes. Just guide them as a confidante but let them get out of that alone. Allow them to make their own mistakes and let them face the consequences of learning.
#7. Give Them Space To Share Everything With You
Instead of controlling them all the time, you should give them enough space so that they themselves share everything with you. The confidence that a child needs to share everything with their parents come from a space that is provided by the parents to them. This will let go you're hovering nature automatically as you won’t have always intended to look into their life. You will know everything about their life by them only. There can not be a better and healthy relationship between a child and his/her parents.
#8. Freedom Is Necessary To Grow Them Independent
Freedom for children is very important as they would not grow independent individual if they do not have enough freedom. Controlling your kids will only turn them shy, submissive and dependent on other or you for that matter. Freedom should be given to children according to their age to turn them into responsible and independent human beings.
‘Helicopter parenting’ will in most cases end up making your kids even worse than you imagined. Let them open their wings and fly. This was our guide to stop being the helicopter parents. Let us know your thoughts as well in the comment section below.
26 Opinions
3 Opinions
