Do you know the story of the man with the hammer? No? Do not you know the story of the man who wanted to hang a picture and probably had a nail but no hammer? Who wanted to borrow this hammer from his neighbor? Until he had any doubt while walking? "What if he does not want to lend me the hammer? - Yesterday, yesterday he greeted me only fleetingly and handled it pretty briefly. - Extremely rude, that kind of thing. - Raw ruffians. - What does it actually form? - This cannot go on like this."
And before the neighbor can say hello, he already suggests, "Keep your hammer, you lout, you ..."
Or do we start the other way around: Do you believe in objectivity and neutrality? Do you believe that one can judge and act impartially? Really?
Then I want to ask you: raise your hand ... Who of you has never caught it, as he drove on a sudden change of direction in traffic despite driving on? Which one of you does not drive to the office (or wherever you work) in a totally different mood on a Monday morning than on a Friday?
Who of you is not upset regularly about the missing peanut bag on the plane or the carelessly thrown "good morning" of the hotel staff?
Which of you has never happened to think about your next vacation and suddenly, out of the blue, came across offers from tour operators?
So, and again: do you believe in objectivity and neutrality? Really? Still?
Then I am sorry to disappoint you. We humans are not objective, we are not neutral, we are emotional. We all have emotions. We all have values. And those values and emotions determine the way we absorb information and thus the way we think. For example, it is always easier to buy thesis but let’s think about it. You cannot be sure that you will get good thesis or that you will understand everything (thesis is written by professional writer and you simply cannot understand a lot of things).
Imagine it all: you have sensory organs (with which you are taking information), you have a brain (with which you process the information) and you have small filters in the brain (which are supposed to prevent you from being overwhelmed Suffocate information that storms you day after day).
The catch is that not only in your brain is everything connected with everything, so that every piece of information is passed on simultaneously with a multitude of memories and feelings. No, worse. Even the small filters are determined by our emotions and values.
In other words, the personal filters of each individual decide which information is to be evaluated and how. Everything is literally in the eye of the beholder.
So forget the so-called neutrality and objectivity. That is a joke. We humans are emotional beings.
• We are habit animals. (Road)
• We are victims of our moods. (Drive to the office)
• We are influenced by the first and last impression. (Peanut bag)
And we have a selective look. (Of course, there have been offers from tour operators before, they just never struck you.) It was not until you wanted to go on vacation yourself.)
But comfort yourself. It is not as bad as it sounds. We have a chance: the whole thing is not a one-way street, it works both ways. So our moods and feelings shape our perception and our thinking. But at the same time, our feelings and values can change as we change our perception and thinking.
We ourselves determine what we see and how we see it. Nobody else.
But we do not just decide what we see. To a high percentage, we also determine what will become of it. Someone who expects that only bad things will happen to him will also (bad) happen to him. Be it that he cannot see the good that he will also encounter. Be it that he will cheerfully participate in the fulfillment of his fears. (This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy, a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you still remember the story of the man with the hammer in this context?)
If you want to actively influence your view of things, then...
Tip 1: Avoid the habit trap. If you realize that you are starting to argue, "That has always been that way", you might already be on the wrong track. Yes, it may be that we can get away with it if we keep everything going the same way. But it may also be that the circumstances have long since changed, and then?
Tip 2: Work on your selective perception. Be careful with just seeing what you want to see. Go through life with your eyes open. Make your environment a reality. Look at everything as if you have never seen it - or as if you would never see it again. Celebrate goodbye to the world and enjoy it to the fullest. By the way, this is also a prerequisite for your creativity.
Tip 3: Be careful with the prejudice. Yes, often the first impression is correct. If only because our subconscious mind was faster than us and already counted one and one. But just as often this impression is influenced by our moods, a bad start to the day, our fatal willingness to settle for the first solution. With the first image, we have of someone, with the first interpretation, the self-satisfied, comfortable ticking off.
Do not make it so easy, but question everything and everyone. Try walking in someone else's shoes, seeing someone else's eyes. Find out if the first solution was the best. Keep your brain going and your little filters moving.
Again, the world is what we believe it to be. But that also means that we can make them what we want. And that should be incentive enough for us.