'Feeling butterflies for your friend' is seen as a very common emotion in people. We have grown up seeing shows like 'F.R.I.E.N.DS' where Monica and Chandler became the best of couples because they were such good friends before they fell in love. We often tend to think in the same way. In psychology, this is known as the mere-exposure effect. We become attached to something which we are familiar and comfortable with. will agree is the reason why people become more attracted to someone they are friends with. They can be more of themselves around them, and that is what looks like a better option for them.
Having a best friend who understands you is the best thing that can happen to you. But opposite sex friendships can be really challenging. One of those times is when you start feeling attracted to your friends of the opposite sex. You feel so heavenly in their presence, but you just cannot tell it to them for fear of losing them. At times you will feel as if they like you too and at other times you can see that you are just friends. The dilemma of it all pinches you 24x7, but you stay silent. But do not rush into a romantic relationship with them as it might just be the friendly-love you are feeling and not the relationship kind of love. Lookout out for these signs to know if you like your friend romantically.
When you try to put more effort into your appearance when you are going out to hang out with them, it hints that you are interested in them. It speaks volume of your interest in them to notice you. Although we do not realize it at first, we start hugging them more often. Hugs from them feel better than they used to and they often last longer than a normal friendly hug. They are suddenly a part of you and you can do anything for them. You will be agreeing to wake up the whole night to talk to them when they are sad, even though you are in such a sleepy mood. There is nothing you won't do to see them smile.
Time automatically becomes longer when they are not around. You cannot imagine a day without them as they are the main attraction of your day now. You will feel comparatively very low, especially when they are hanging out with some other people without you. You start becoming jealous of people who take away your BFF from you. It is like your world is in flames and only that one person can cool it down. Even the people around you start asking if you guys are dating, looking at the chemistry between you two. Not only that, if you like your friend, you will be seeing them in your dreams at nights. Not only at night, but daydreaming about kissing them is a tell-tale sign that they have taken your heart. If all this is happening with you, you can be sure that your attraction to your best friend is not just a friendly love. It is something bigger. Now that you know it, you need not worry. We will help you with some tips on what to do if you are attracted to your best friend.
#1. Be Sure What You Feel
It is very important to be sure about how you feel about them before you go forward and let your heart out. So, self-analyze first and confront yourself about the feelings. Ask yourself whether you want to be just the centre of their attraction. It happens at times that you do not want to feel lonely anymore and therefore you want the closest person to you to console you. So be sure that you see yourself as a couple together.
#2. Assess The Risk
Break up is the most painful part of a relationship gone bad. You need to think about this before you take a step forward. Breakups become extremely complicated when it is a friend you were involved with. You have to judge whether you will be able to survive the relationship when you two start going out. You can never predict the future and what turn the emotions might take. So ask yourself whether you are ready to lose a friendship if things take the wrong turn. Decide how precious that friend is to you and if you are ready to risk it all.
#3. Confide In Someone
You should share your emotions about the scenario with someone you trust. It could be anyone from your other friends to your siblings. Anyone who knows you two would be a good option. If you are telling it to your friend, make sure they do not like the same person you like.
You will want a person, who has your best interests at heart, to guide you to the correct path. Ask their opinion about love and relationships and see if it helps you in some way. They might be able to help you judge your feelings in a better way as well.
#4. Consider The Possibilities
What kind of bond do you share with your friend? Analyze whether you two are emotionally attached to each other with an electrifying chemistry, or is it that you two are adventure buddies. This is important to know to judge where you can take this relationship with them. Not just that, you can also consider the outcomes of how they would react when you let them know that your heart has fallen for them. They might be ready for a long-term commitment, or they might just not be willing to get in a relationship yet. But if you have enough spark, you might just have the friends-with-benefits kind of fling with them.
Be prepared for the various consequences and keep yourself open to probabilities!
#5. See How They Feel
The best way to know if there is a spark between the two of you is to check how your friend feels about this. You can drop some hints for them to react to your options. You can jokingly ask how would it be if the two of you become a couple and see how they react to the proposition. This way, you are just dipping your feet in the water before going all in. You will come to know how good of an idea this is.
#6. Have The Courage
If you have started having romantic thoughts for your friend, just know that there is nothing wrong with it. You need to accept your feelings and let your heart out in front of them now. Do not beat around the bush because you are too scared to confess. Just remember that they won't just leave you for being honest about this. So just gather all the strength and be out with your feelings.
#7. Move Slowly
Now that you are sure about your love for your friend, you will naturally want things to go at a fast pace with them. But unless you want things to get ruined between you two, it is better not rush into anything. Remember the fact that you know your feelings, but they might still need time to assess theirs. So give them some time to come back to you after you have confessed your love to them. Take things at a slow pace and provide them with some control over the decisions.
#8. Be Okay With Rejection Too
You should be prepared for the worst to happen while hoping of for the best. You should know that the attraction you feel might not be reciprocated from the other end as well. Be ready to deal with the consequences if they end up saying no to you. Do not be shattered if your friend rejects your idea of taking things ahead. Just know that it is for the best. Being in a one-sided relationship would be much worse.
#9. Know What You Want
If your friend has the same feelings as you do, you might just be the happiest person on earth that day. But make sure that this happiness is not short lived. Talk to your now-partner where you see this relationship going and what you expect from it. You should know how far are you willing to take things. Whether it is a short-term commitment or you want to stay together until the end of days, being clear about what you want will not create misunderstanding at any given time. Hence, you will be happier together as a couple.
We hope that our advice is able to help you to get your friend say "yes" to you. Let us know in the comment section down below if any of this can help you in any form. Also if you have any other suggestion, we would love to hear them from you.
I cannot fall in love with someone unless I am emotionally attached to someone. I realized this fact when I fell in love with my best friend. But what could I have done as she was already committed to another guy? The worst part was when she would share the details of her relationship with me. I was the one she confided in whenever she had an argument with her boyfriend. That made so upset as she was someone I loved more than my life. I could not bear the thought of someone making her sad. I used to be so jealous that I wanted to ask her to break up with her boyfriend. It is all sounding so silly now but it made very much sense. I knew that I could keep her happier if I was in the place of that other guy. That is when I realized that I was attracted to my best friend. I wanted her to be with me.
She soon broke up with her boyfriend with her own will. I still could not resist the feeling of wanting her. But it was too soon for her to accept another relationship. That kept me quite for some time. Also, I was scared how she is going to react to my feelings. I dreaded losing such a wonderful girl from my life. I spent so much time with her every day as we were collegemates as well. In a college full of people, I would still be missing her when she was not around. People kept making fun of me saying that she was my soul. I was a lifeless human without her. All those signs which told me that she was the one for me.
A day came when I could not resist myself and wanted to just go up to her and express my feelings. I dropped a subtle hint the last night about what I was going to tell her. I told her how we had great chemistry and she agreed to it. I took that as a sign to go ahead with my plan. We went out to hang out with other friends like we usually did. I dropped her at her place after that as it was already dark. I was going to tell her everything and I was prepared for the worst. But my intuition told me that things are in my favor today. It was such a beautiful night with the moon shining above, I went on my knees and told her how much she means to me. I told her that I was attracted to her. She went numb for some time and that scared me. But then she smiled and said she loved me too. My best friend was now my soulmate too. That night will always be a memorable moment for us. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I knew I could not have survived without her by my side.