What to do if your Friend Likes the Girl you Like?

1,414 Views Updated: 23 Sep 2017
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What to do if your Friend Likes the Girl you Like?

Quite recently, I fell for a girl who means everything to me. She is my dearest friend, confidante and most importantly my feelings towards her are definitely more than a friend. I'm in love with her for quite some time, however, I cannot garner the courage to express what I feel for her. I'm in a dilemma as my close buddy is also attracted to the same girl, and I'm in a fix whether to chose my friend or the love of my life.

I really need some clarity on this. Please suggest me what to do and how to proceed. 

(Feature Image Courtesy: The Two Angels)

Answers (6)

Dear Reader,

Thank you for sharing your query with us. It is indeed one of the most dreadful situations where you have to make a choice between the friend who you value and the girl who you like. However, there are a number of ways through which you can handle the situation maturely and not mess it up with either one of them. Although this may sound utopic to it and the chances that you will not offend anyone is really low, but if you try and succeed, the results are going to be really satisfying for you.

However, here’s an advice for you; when you decide to have ‘the conversation’ with your friend, please remember the following points:

#1. Talk In Private


Even if you consider the girl to be a part of you or the gang, avoid raising the issue before her. This will not only hurt the emotions of your friend but will leave a dent on his ego. And that, my friend, may not be a good thing for your friendship! Thus, you should always talk in private when it comes to issues as sensitive as this.

#2. Be Absolutely Clear Before Talking


Falling in love with someone is an involuntary act that happens when the cupid strikes you. However, not all people are lucky in love and you, my friend, are one of those unfortunate ones who is stuck in an ugly soup, struggling to ensure all is well. Please do not assume anything and then initiate a conversation. If the girl you like also has feelings for you, then there is nothing to worry. All you would have to do is sit down with your friend and tell him that there are sparks of love from both sides in your case and if the friend continues to pursue his feelings, it will only be a one-sided affair, which will eventually hurt him. Be absolutely clear about the other person’s views and thoughts. It’s important to gain clarity before conversing; else you may be communicating something that may not be true, leading to confusions and misconceptions.

#3. Do Not Disregard Or Dismiss Your Friend’s Feelings


If your feelings for the girl are genuine, so is your friend’s emotions for the lady! Thus, do not disregard or dismiss your friend’s feelings, just because you like the same girl. Give your friend an equal opportunity to know whether he does stand a chance with her or no. But it’s a humble request, please avoid considering his feelings as trash and consider yourself to be the true one to love that girl.

#4. Assess Your Emotions


 This is the most important. You need to assess your emotions in terms of the people concerned. If things don’t go as planned, who will you choose between the two? Will you value your friendship over your love? Or the vice versa? Whatever it may be, you need to be prepared for that choice as well because when the calamity will strike you, it will give no time to prepare.

#5. Be Prepared For A Heartbreak


Till now, all we have discussed lies in your favor. However, it could be a possibility that the girl is actually interested in your friend and not you. Thus, you need to gear up for a heartbreak as well. Since there is no clue from the girl’s side, it could be both ways; wither she likes your, friend or she likes none of you. So, remember that you may be at the receiving end as well and prepare yourself to cope with the stress of the same.

In the end, it all depends on the girl and the friendship you share with your friend. Well, the situation is not that rare, but yes, in terms of a challenge, it is indeed scary and difficult. However, with a peaceful mind, we are sure you can manage to look for a solution to the problem.

Was the information we shared useful? You can post more queries if you found the answer to be satisfying. We would love to hear from you.

If you wish to read more on ‘How to Deal with Friends Flirting with your Girlfriend?’, click on the link here

Thanking you,

Team AskOpinion


(Image Courtesy: 1. Heads Up Guys, 2. Shutterstock, 3. New Love Times, 4. Student and Money Management, 5. Elite Daily)

Here are the simplest choices, courtesy all the films and shows, when you and your friend like the same girl:

  1. Forget her; or
  2. Forget your friend

Think which is more important for you!

Now here's a choice that's more logical yet complex.... talk to your friend about your feelings for the girl in question. Explain to your friend how you feel about this girl, and see how deep his feelings are for her. Maybe he just has an attraction and nothing more, and once he knows how you truly feel about her, he might understand your stance. Or maybe you can see how deeply your friend feels for this girl.

However if you both feel equally deeply about the girl, then.... well, go back to the first two options suggest- Forget her or Forget friend! 

And, if you are choosing the girl over your friend, I would say act fast, at least before he does!! All the best!

I think one should talk to his friend about this and ask the girl about her opinion. This is the best way to deal with this situation.

Talk to the girl and get to know what she feels about you. 

I'll let my friend date the girl.

Propose the girl before your friend does. 

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