How to Talk to your Partner about your Sexual Fantasies?

1,408 Views Updated: 15 Feb 2019
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How to Talk to your Partner about your Sexual Fantasies?
Most of the people have some sexual fantasies which have the capability to make you think about it and get turned on the whole night. However, people usually want to play those fantasies with their partner because they are the ones they imagine their fantasies with.

Sometimes sharing or talking about fantasies becomes so difficult that it is hard to even initiate talking about it to your partner. However, if you have a couple of things in your mind, it becomes comparatively easy. Let’s first talk about what should you take care before actually start talking about your sexual fantasies to your partner.

It is usually very different for everyone to experience their own fantasies and then accept it in front of your partner. Before you ask someone else to be comfortable with your fantasies, you need to get comfortable with them too. Watching something on porn and wanting to do something like this is not a fantasy. When you feel orgasm after feeling something and you know that your body is going to enjoy it is what your own fantasy is. Therefore, before you get it to your partner, make sure you are comfortable with it not just doing it but also talking about it.

Don’t make a fantasy a very big deal. Most of the people get very nervous with this word and have different assumptions which can make you feel that fantasies are something too big which they are not. It is something which has the capacity to turn your mind on. Therefore, don’t overthink about it. It is very normal to think or feel unsure about your fantasies. So don’t make it a taboo. Desires are different from fantasy. They do not always overlap your desires. There is no need to judge yourself on the basis of your fantasies.

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The most important thing when we talk about fantasies is that you should keep an attitude which is nonjudgemental. You will be able to explore yourself more if you and your partner are non-judgemental. If you are aware that your partner is judgemental, it becomes way too difficult for you to share your fantasies with them. Have an open mind and if your partner is alike, there should be no problem in sharing your sexual fantasies with them. Even if they disapprove of something sexually wild or the fantasies you have, they shouldn't judge you as a person after you express it.

if you are in a very new and fresh relationship, you should probably give you and your partner enough time in order to build that comfort and connection which you need to share everything with your partner. Everyone has a different relationship. If you have gained so much of comfort in a short relationship as well, you can go ahead and talk to them about your fantasies. However, think about the stage your relationship with your partner so that you can find the perfect stage of the relationship to share your sexual fantasies with them.

How To Talk To Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies?


#1. Use A Checklist First Of All

Checklists are very common as far as fantasies are concerned. You need to know what kind of fantasies you need to start with and what should you leave for the time you feel more comfortable with them. If you have some sexual fantasies that you want to try with your partner, go with the gentle ones first to talk.

#2. Look For A Perfect Place And Time

Remember, you can make your partner feel a little awkward when you are talking about your sexual fantasies to your partner. Therefore, find a perfect time and place where you have enough time, space and privacy to talk about anything. You can talk to them about your fantasies when you both are close and all cuddled up.

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#3. Use Porns To Let Them Know Your Fantasies

Porns can be a very easy way to let your partner talk about their fantasies and you can show them what you love. You can either watch a porn together or else you can start talking about porns and then move to the topic of sexual fantasies from there.

#4. Use The Technique Of Erotica

A technique in which people usually find a way stimulate their imagination and they talk about their fantasies is a technique called erotica. Let erotica take over on your behalf if you are unable to communicate your fantasies with your partner. Search for erotica in web and let your partner know what turned you on.

#5. Efficiently Use The Art Of Dirty Talk

The art of talking dirty is the most classic version of letting your partner know what you like the most. During having sex or being in between your foreplay you can guide your partner towards your fantasies. The power of words can never be underestimated as we all know this.

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#6. Ask Them What They Like and What They Don’t

In order to start a conversation regarding your sexual fantasies, you can just start it by asking the preferences in a general way. You can start off by asking them their likes and dislikes. Once this conversation is up, just give the sexual fantasies a try and talk about them too.

#7. Talk About Your Fantasies When They Are Stressed

You can also talk about something erotic and romantic when you are out of bed. It is not necessarily important to talk about these topics when you are in bed or in between your foreplay. You can rather talk about it when your partner is stressed and you can freshen up their mind by talking about your sexual fantasies.

#8. Talk About It In The Bedroom With The Help Of Sexy Outfits

This is a very potentially sexy way to start talking about your sexual fantasies. By doing this you can actually make one of your fantasy alive. Buy a sexy lingerie or something that your partner will love and show them instead of talking about your fantasies. If you will show them your fantasies, the chances are your partner will do that as well.

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#9. But, Remember That Great Sex Can’t Come Overnight

You can talk about sexual fantasies, however, don’t expect to see the changes very soon. When you feel that your partner likes something in bed, it takes time for you to get a hang of it. Therefore, similarly, your partner will also take a little time to adapt to your fantasies. However, don’t stop discussing your sexual desires with your partner.

#10. Expose The Desires Behind Your Fantasies

You need to understand that your fantasy is not to do the roleplay you saw in some porn. All you or your body craves for is the feeling that your fantasy gave you when you first saw it. Therefore, exposing the deep desires from your fantasies to your partner to keep it romantic and realistic.

#11. Broaden Your Horizons In Order To Uncover More Fantasies

In order to uncover the fantasy that you both have, you need to find the ways out where you can get the same feelings as the fantasy gave you. By now, your partner also must have shared a few of their fantasies as well. Therefore, now try talking about uncovering those fantasies.

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#12. Try It In Real Life In Order To Put It All Together

In order to strengthen the bond of communication and comfort, you can make one of your fantasies real. It will make you even more comfortable with each other for talking about the coming fantasies and other sexual desires that you have with your partner. This way you will able to reinforce your partner as well.

This was a little guide to become more comfortable with your partner as far as communication is a concern. If you are willing to follow these steps, talking to your partner about your sexual fantasies will become easier. Let us know what you feel about this article and add some suggestions in the comments section below.

(Image Courtesy: 1. Joya Life, 2. Blog, 3. Pinterest, 4. Coemi, 5. Wishesh: Bustle(Featured Image Courtesy)
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