It is not hidden that dating or being with someone who has kids is going to be drastically different from the normal dating. It can be pretty difficult, or it might become smooth if you want it to work out.
Dating someone with kids is an altogether a different thing as it will change you as a person completely. Let us see some of the tips which can help you in order to date someone with kids.
#1. Realize That Their Child Will Always Be Their First Priority
Know this for the fact that their children will always be their priority. Realize this that whatever romantic plans or weekends you both are planning can be canceled immediately if their child is sick or needs them the most. The people who start dating normally is different and the people who already have a bigger responsibility in their life than having you can be a very different experience.
#2. Since They Have A Child With Their Ex, They Will Be Always Be A Part Of Their Life
Remember this very fact as well that their ex with whom they have had a child will always be a part of their life no matter where they reach in their life. Your partner is having a baby who also is theirs. Therefore, you can’t just have your partner all by just taking charge of their kid also. You will have to make a pact with their ex-partner because the kid they have belongs to them equally as it to you.
#3. Try To Maintain A Good Relationship With The Ex Of Your Partner
This is major step though. You can’t just have a hot and cold relationship with their ex as it will directly or indirectly affect the child as well. In order to maintain a healthy relationship between you and your partner, you need to have a good relationship with their ex as well. For whatever reasons they got separated, deal with it and accept it as a part of your life. Show your partner that you are invested in them completely.
#4. Make A Great Impression On The Parents Of Your Partner
If you are in a relationship with a person who already has a child, that link will be considered as a serious one only. The parents of your partner will see you as a spouse to the grandchild of theirs. Your relationship will never be considered as a fling. Therefore, be ready to take as many responsibilities as you can. They will accept as a family member once they are sure that you are a good match for their child and will be able to take care of their grandchild.
#5. Observe The Behaviour Of Your Partner With Other Kids
The most important decision about the future of your relationship depends on how your partner is with other kids. You need to know what will they have more kids with you or will be able to give them all the love to your kid as they did it for their own kid. They can probably have a decision that they won't be having any more kids after the one they are currently having. Keep all of these things in mind as you go on in the relationship.
#6. Know That They Are Looking For A Serious Relationship Rather Than A Fling
This is serious for them, know this for sure. If they have one responsibility on their shoulder already and still are getting into a relationship with you, that means they are looking for a potential futuristic relationship. You need to ready for a serious relationship with your partner as they will not want to invest themselves into someone who would not accept them as they are for the rest of their life.
#7. Realize The Fact The You Are Not In a Relationship With One Person, But Two
Until the time you are dating that person and haven’t met their child, you won’t realize that you will have to fall in love with two people instead of one. You will obviously and naturally will feel a little anxious and new. However, if you are planning a future with your partner who is having kids or a kid, know this for sure that you will have to love their child as your own. Make yourself ready to love both of them equally.
#8. Know And Have Realistic Expectations From Your Partner
Know this from the very first day that just because you love that person so much, you will be able to have the same repo with their child as well. If you are not able to do this, make sure you don’t expect anything unrealistic from them. Before making any commitment to them, make sure you are analyzing their situations completely and then deciding whether you want to continue with them or you are not ready to have such a big responsibility.
#9. You Need To Know That It’s Okay If They Are Not Reachable To You All The Time
Know this in back of your mind that you will have to compromise on a lot of things. Kids require a lot of time and attention. Therefore, if they are not able to reach out to you as they are occupied with their kid or some other family matter, try to understand this and let them know that you respect their decision of making their kid as their priority most of the time. The least you can do for your partner is to understand their point of view and their situation.
#10. If Things Are Moving Slow, Know That It’s For The Good
If you had been in a relationship with a person who was single and was not in a situation as your partner is, the things would have been a lot different. However, in this particular situation, you must know that the pace of the relationship can be a little slow as you both need time to make such a big decision about your lives. They will also take time to understand you completely whether you would be able to love their kid as they did. Also, you will also need time to make a decision for your life which is good for you as well.
#11. Watch Out Your Words When You Are Talking In Front Of Their Kids
There can be a situation where you will burst out in front of their kids. But, keep this strictly in your mind that anything happening between you and your partner should not affect their kids in a negative way especially. Therefore, watch your words whenever the kids are around. If there are questions or discussion that you both need to do, make sure you do that when the kids are not around or gone to school. If the kids make a bad perception of you, the relationship will not go well.
#12. Never Push Yourself Or Them To Make You Meet The Kids
It seems super tempting when you know that your partner has kids who will be yours someday. However, don’t force yourself on your partner to make you meet the kids. If they are taking time for you and kids to meet, that must be because they know their kids better. They probably want to work on the relationship before making you meet the kids.
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