How to stop Being a Tomboy?

1,481 Views Updated: 09 Jun 2018
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How to stop Being a Tomboy?

Are you the kind of woman who prefers sneakers over heels and is always seen around wearing a ball cap? Are you the type who cringes at girly clothing and prefer sweatpants over leggings and palazzos? It is easy to be stereotyped against when you cannot be clubbed under the conventional code and are seen as an irregularity to what is normal and standard.  You need to worry a lot if you have been a tomboy till now.

It is okay for you to not feel the same enthusiasm and passion towards activities that others around you like and pursue the ones which give you great joy. However, when you are the only girl to play competitive sports and go toe to toe with guys, feelings of isolation can creep up. You may feel the need to break the image which has started to make you feel uneasy.  Here are some tips to stop being a tomboy:

How To Stop Being A Tomboy?

#1. Make Only The Necessary Changes  

You don’t need to completely overhaul your tastes and interests so that you can fit the stereotypical image people have of girls. You need to reason with yourself and foresee the implications of the changes you are thinking of making.

If you feel sad about making changes to your current interests, you can just reduce the number of hours invested in those activities. You can bide that time to create room for new activities which will, in turn, bring a change in your personality. You can make a list of the changes that you are planning to make and then weigh them according to your capabilities to inculcate them in your behavior.

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#2. Be Soft-Spoken  

You need to drop the word 'dude' that you have been overusing and limit the noise you make while talking. It is not always bad to shout or raise your voice, but you should only do this when you feel a sense of urgency or need to impart some seriousness in the environment. Other than that shouting or speaking aggressively will just draw flak from people and push them out of your life. The key to becoming polite is to act in a courteous manner which adds grace and charm to your personality, the traits more suited to women than men conventionally. When you start speaking softly, you will realize that it doesn’t affect you the way you thought it would and makes you more comfortable than uncomfortable.  

#3. Proceed With Patience 

Make one change a day and look in the mirror to see both the change and your reaction to that change. Don’t go live with that change out of your house showing it to people immediately but give it some time to settle. You can then repeat the same thing next week, and it will not make you feel as weird as it did when you first made the change. Patience is all about getting used to the change you have initiated and learning not to see it as the only thing that defines you.  

#4. Do The 'Before' And 'After' Mock Activity

You have made a few changes and it is still taking long enough for you to come to terms with them. Click a photo of yourself as a tomboy and then click a picture of yourself in a completely different attire. Share it with close friends and relatives. It will help you to need to get an idea of what other people think of the change so that you don’t become hysterical under suspicion. It will also save you from the speculation of other people hating you for the changes that you have made. 

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#5. Change The Way You Dress 

It’s time to boycott and abandon the solid prints and straight cuts you have been wearing to look tougher. The neutral colors need to go away for a while so that you can embrace the girlier life. Dresses, skirts, bright t-shirts, etc. are on display in the women's section of every store; you just have to muster the courage of going inside and grabbing clothes which you have been avoiding for so long. This will help you to transform your personality into an appealing one and remove the ‘ I shun people off’ vibe that your previous dressing style gave.  

#6. Attend Night Events and Sleep Overs  

Say no to ball-games and video game sessions with boys when you used to binge on hot-dogs and Doritos. Get yourself a little dress that reveals your beautiful legs and let your hair down.

The woman inside you never got the opportunity to come out in the open as until now you did not get a chance to celebrate your beauty. Formal events are a sure thing for you to feel feminine and ladylike. Apart from this, you need to spend a night with other girls to know more about them and the way they react to situations. This will help you to break out of the tomboy mold that you created by spending long hours with boys. 

#7. Apply Make-Up

Eyeliner, blush, eye-shadow, foundation, and lipstick, etc. are some of the products that you can put on yourself and witness the change they bring on your face. Just a little touch of makeup can make you feel better about yourself as you will appear more beautiful. Once you have started applying make-up you would want to do that every day to look better.  

#8. Get Rid Of Excess Hair  

Women are generally aversive to their own body hair although they do fancy men who have facial and body hair. Removing armpit hair and the excess growth on your legs is one of the things that most women do to feel tender and refined. Tweezing unwanted facial hair will be the next step in becoming fabulous and a source of admiration for other women.  

#9. Sit Cross Legged  

Plunging into the couch with your legs wide open is not ladylike and can invite criticism from anyone be it your relatives or parents. Keeping your legs close together or sitting cross-legged will give the impression that you display poise and control in the manner you carry yourself.

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#10. Accessorize  

A feminine appearance becomes complete when you do something extra other than dressing impeccably. It’s time that you lose the gloves and cap and paint your nails bright. Another thing you can do is replace your backpack with a clutch or a purse. Wearing jewelry or other accessories that glitter will compliment your outfit and spice up your appearance. Fashionable belts and sunglasses are also good options to have a sense of style that people remember and adore.  

#11. Wear Perfume  

Perfume is the most intense form of memory. This is absolutely true as you can draw people towards you by wearing a fragrance. It lingers in the room long after you have gone and the power that it infuses makes people speculate that you have a secretive nature.  

#12. Be Flirtatious  

It can be tough to be flirtatious especially when you like dirt and sweat more than dressing yourself up and are used to winking at boys with a mischievous grin on your face. You always have been the kind of person for whom sexual attraction is a byproduct of high-fives and poking fun together instead of blushing and covertly looking at the one you find attractive. You don’t need to change much to be flirtatious. Just keep a smile on your face at all times and find humor in situations so that you can even manipulate seriousness if the outcome is not favorable.  

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#13. Walk Elegantly  

No more jumping around and rolling your sleeves up while walking. You need to bring dignity and elegance to the way you walk. Walking straight with controlled hip movement is the best way to tell others about your beauty and style.  

#14. Read Women's Magazines  

A lot of women turn to women magazines for style tips, the latest fashion trends and which dress sizzled the most on a particular night. Apart from this they also offer relationship advice and educate you about unfeminine things like burping, swearing and picking fights. Magazine that covers topics of home decor and self-care can teach you more about proper hygiene.  

#15. Stop Being Timid  

Stop being timid when people praise you and break out of the small nods you have been dishing out till now. Instead, say thank you more often and accept the compliments when they come your way. This will build your self-confidence and tell you that it is okay to act like a woman. You will feel that you no longer need to hide and suppress your real self under your tomboy act. A lot of women behave like tomboys when they assume that they are less of a woman by comparing them to a prettier one.  

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Tell us how you stopped being a tomboy. Drop your comments in the comments section below.  

(Image Courtesy: 1. Beach Combing, 2. Medical Daily, 3. Tomboy Tarts, 4, iStock, 5. Magazine, 6. Sarcasm; Buzzfeed(Featured Image Courtesy)
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Answer
My own mother told me that she does not recognize me when I first dressed in a ball cap and hunkered
in on a skateboard inside the house. I was always more interested in hanging out with boys at ball games
and playing video games with them all night after our exams got over. I was always uncomfortable
around people who were victims of false dilemma and had to put things down as black and white, they
saw girls as the ones who did make up and managed household affairs and boys as the breadwinners and
the ones who took part in physical activities. I never cared about how I was being and always felt
chemistry between me and my friend as both of were really jubilant when we won a game hugging very
tightly when either one of us scored and then separating so that we don’t do something out of the
sexual tension that consumed us. One day when we were coming back from our practice a group of girls
 
 
commented that I will grow a beard soon if I keep up with my tomboy image and attitude and I was really
displeased with what she said. My friend told me that she is just jealous because she cannot spend time
with boys herself and in order to really belong to the group of girls she has to take part in their practice
of bitching and saying mean things about people who are not in their group, girls are easier to attack as
they think they have all the information needed about girls being one themselves and attacking only one
or two boys they know something about. He really warmed the cockles of my heart that day and I
thought we would begin a relationship soon so I invited him over to study together and he came on time.
My mom was out so it was the perfect opportunity to turn our friendship into a relationship so I waited
and waited and he never made a move. I grew disinterested and sensing my frustration he decided to
take leave when I open confronted him and said that do you like me or not? He said he did but does not
fancy me as a girlfriend but just a friend and is already thinking of proposing to a girl. I asked her name
and when I learned what it was I wanted him to get out of my sight right away as it was one of the girls
who belonged to the group who were insulting me. I had a difficult time in understanding how can he
defend me and not want me, why defend me and then not want me. It was difficult to dismiss my
attraction towards him when I was thinking about this and at the same time accept that all we can have
is a friendship. I tried out other guys since everyone was going around with someone these days but they
were wary of dating a tomboy themselves. I felt heartbroken and depressed and curled up to my mom
who helped me by changing my hairstyle and buying me skirts and dresses so that I also look more like a
girl than a boy. When I went to the dance dressed like this a guy complimented me on my necklace
although I turned down advances from the boys on the football team who turned me down as I was still
bitter about it and when we were by ourselves we shared a passionate kiss that brought us closer. He
even enjoyed playing games with me and admired this more about me when I gave him the outward
appearance of a ‘conventional’ girl never changing the tomboy inside. 


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