Are You being your Own Worst Enemy? Here's how to Stop!

We all go through the moments of despair and self-loathing; they’re a part of life. But these feelings can make you feel miserable and unworthy in the long run. Self-doubt, indecision, lack of motivation and confidence are, in fact, byproducts of the villain that resides inside all of us. Each of us has those non-stop voices in our head, the never-ending commentary which keeps on reminding us how big of a failure we are. Well, that is our worst enemy.

You being your own worst enemy may sound a little absurd but it’s true nevertheless. The more harm to our psyche comes not from the outside world or what others do to us, but rather from our own thoughts. Here are some signs that will tell you how you are the biggest problem in your life.

#1. You are your worst enemy in a way that you are waiting for someone else to save you when you have all the power you need to help yourself. This manifests through constant complaining with absolute no desire or effort to turn your life around.

#2. Another way you are harming yourself is by waiting for inspiration and motivation from the outside world when already have all you need to succeed in your life. Losers wait for motivation while winners get on with their tasks regardless.

#3. Do you value the comfort of not trying more than being vulnerable? Well, then you are the reason you aren’t where you aspired to be at this point. Who has ever achieved something great without stepping out of their comfort zone?

#4. Expecting too much from yourself, beyond what’s realistic is another way you are putting yourself on a destructive path. It is good for have high ambitions in life but it is important for these ambitions to be realistic, rational and achievable. Otherwise, you will only end up disappointing yourself and pushing yourself in a dark pit of low self-esteem and de-motivation.

#5. Valuing other people’s comfort over your own is another way you are killing yourself. Well, it is certainly nice to be considerate of others, but it is a problem if thinking about others before yourself has become your way of life.

Now that you know how you are sabotaging your life, it is time to learn how you can stop being your own worst enemy.

#1. Create Realistic Goals and Expectations

The majority of the time we are miserable is because we strive for perfection and fail to achieve it. Perfection is not necessary, getting better is. When you will set more realistic goals for yourself, you will find yourself more motivated as your target will be in your reach.

(Image Courtesy: Growth Freaks)

#2. Prioritize Yourself

It’s good to help others in need but before you set out helping everyone who needs you, help yourself. Nobody understands you better than you, and no one can help you better than you can help yourself. You cannot postpone handling your problems because you are busy helping your friend something that he or she is going through. This will only get you in a bigger pickle.

#3. Say ‘No’ More Often

One problem with perfectionists is that they cannot say no to any opportunity that comes their way and end up having more on their plate than they can handle. Setting healthy boundaries is important for sustainable energy and growth. Doing too much in a short period of time is only going to leave you exhausted, without successfully achieving your goals. Stop taking extra tasks and focus on investing in your well being and what truly matters.

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#4. Dispute Negative Inner Thoughts

Rather than letting your inner self sabotage your emotional well-being, use positive feedback and healthy rewards to achieve your goals. All of us have moments when we do not have the highest motivations but the important thing is to not let the feeling affect your efforts. The way to loving yourself starts with developing a positive attitude.

#5. Take Time To Recharge Your Batteries

Instead of drowning yourself in negative thoughts, take a break from the hustles and bustles of life and indulge in something that makes you happy. All of us need a break every once in a while and what better time to take it than when you are clad in thoughts of self-doubts and lack of motivation. Schedule regular breaks so your tasks never get too heavy on you.

(Image Courtesy: University Of Pennsylvania)

#6. Trust Yourself To Get Everything Done In Time

Admit it, you may or may not be a perfectionist but you are pretty good at what you do. All you need at this point is to have faith in your abilities and skills. Doubt in our own abilities cripples us, making us fail even at something that we are capable of excelling at. If you are unable to do something, then perhaps this is just not the time to do it. Back off, take a break and come back at it with your full strength.

#7. Stop Multitasking

Well, the human brain have not evolved to multitask, as simple as that. As much as you may think that you have superhuman capabilities, that’s just not true. Just stop pushing yourself to performing several tasks altogether, it’s a waste of time, energy and effort. It decreases your efficiency, disrupts memory and results in excessive stress, you have loads of which already. Meditation and yoga are something that can help you concentrate better.

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#8. Stop Holding Others To Your Standards

Well, you may be a perfectionist but not everyone is, so stop expecting from everyone what you expect from yourself. Not everyone is at the same level. The sooner you understand this fact, the better it would be for your psyche.

#9. Talk To Yourself

No one can motivate you like you. You know your strengths and you are also aware of your weaknesses. You know why you do what you do and why not what you don’t. So, who better to pull you out of the slump that you currently find yourself in. We suggest you to write your self-talk down. When your motivational speech in worded down, it appears to be more than just an intrinsic part of you. Instead of your worst enemy, be your best friend.

(Image Courtesy: Mind Hacks)

#10. Take A Weekend Vacation

There’s nothing more refreshing than breaking the monotony of life and going away from the town for a day or two. Travelling to new places energizes you, cleansing your mind of negative thoughts, charging you emotionally as well as mentally. So whenever you feel the dark cloud of negative thoughts shadowing you, plan a vacation with the people that you love.

So, this is how you stop being your worst enemy and become your best friend. How do your help yourself when you are down? Tell us through your comments below. We would love to hear from you.

(Featured Image Courtesy: Practivist's Journey To Life)