When a friend cuts you off their life, it can be hard apart from being unexpected. If it’s a good friend or a best friend, getting over it can be way harder. But it is okay to undergo the after effects and grieve when such a situation happens for the good, or for the worse. Friends are an inseparable part of everyone’s life. Almost ninety percent of the things that we hesitate to share with our family, we tend to share with our friends. Life without friends is not only boring but also somehow meaningless. Some people tend to make a lot of friends, and some choose to remain low key. They do not mix and mingle with every friend of a friend and will only confide their thoughts and feelings to their close crew! But what happens when a dear friend cuts you off? How to handle their absence, accept the situation and deal with the after effects?
We tend to fight a lot more with the people we love and are close to as compared to the others. When we engage in a fight with our best friend or a really close friend, we usually do not take the first move to resolve the problem as at that moment; we are hostage to our ego. We tend to undergo feelings of disappointment and anger. This reaction is normal and nothing to be ashamed of, for one. Secondly, we tend to overthink the situation and turn on to other friends to present our side of the story, without paying a heed to the friend’s side. At that moment, we confine our disappointments in anger and feel hurt. In situations like these, dropping your egos and making the first move to talk and discuss the matter seems like the mature option. If a friend has cut you off, take your time to think over the matter. Think hard as to what could’ve gone wrong or if you did anything to hurt your friend that made him take this serious decision. But don’t give into over thinking as this will only hamper your productivity and make you feel sad. Take your time to think about the situation but not so much that it affects your other work!
#1. Rethink Your Mistakes
When such a situation occurs, the first thing that you must do is think and rethink as to what you could’ve done voluntarily or involuntarily to hurt your friend’s feelings. If your friend has cut you off, the chances are he or she got upset over some matter or your behavior in a particular situation. But also remember, that it is not always your fault. Blaming yourself and grieving over the fact that it was you who caused this makes no sense. Unless you know what made your friend take such an extreme action, attempts on blaming others or yourself are futile. Who knows, that your friend might have some deeper reason for it all? In this situation, try to think from your friend’s point of view rather than calculating his reaction from your own!
#2. Get Busy
Keeping yourself busy on a bad day, after a breakup or a fight is the perfect way to distract your focus from that particular situation. If you decide to focus all your time and energy thinking about the matter, grieving over what went wrong, who exactly was at fault or whom to blame, you will only lose your sanity at the end of the day. Get busy as keeping your body moving and mind occupied at all times will help you from falling into a pit of despair. Go to the gym, exercise, focus on your work at the office or go out for a movie! Just don’t take the day off and sit back only to think over the matter and drive yourself out of sanity. Until you hear the reason from your friend’s mouth, making assumptions or blaming yourself is worthless. If your friend needs a little time to get over the matter, then he deserves all the time that he wants. Maybe he is ghosting you for your own good, as he doesn’t want to fight over the matter when the wound is fresh.
#3. Shift Your Focus Elsewhere
Whenever in the coming time if your friend changes his/her mind and try to be friends with you again, it's great but if they don't, let it be. Don’t over think and focus your energies elsewhere. Hangout with your other friends or binge watch a new series on Netflix. Obsessing over the matter will only create problems in your head that were never even there in the first place. Maybe there was a deeper reason that made your friend take this decision, and maybe this reason does not even concern you at all! Things happen, and sometimes there is nothing that you can do about it. Such is life, with all its ups and downs. So take it as it comes.
#4. It’s Okay To Grieve
To grieve over something or someone meaningful lost is absolutely human and not to mention, absolutely okay. There is nothing to be embarrassed about shedding a tear or two for a dear one who has chosen to leave your company unexpectedly. In fact, getting it all out of your system will make you get over it and accept the situation.
#5. Don’t Give Into Over Thinking
Giving yourself into over thinking on the matter will leave you with no answers and instead make you more confused. It’ll raise a lot of questions in your mind pointing out the things that he or she has done wrong to you in the past. This game of blaming and counting the wrongdoings will lead you nowhere and only make things more complicated over time. Over thinking kills your precious time that you could engage in doing something productive, makes you tired and is a complete waste of time. As an after effect, you will be left with a lot of questions such as ‘why me?’ or ‘How was I to blame?’. It’ll only make matters worse and you will grow impatient.
#6. Clear Your Mind
Take a walk, play with your pet, go shopping or undergo that activity that you always wanted to pursue but never did. This will clear your mind from the game of blaming and allegations to and fro and allow you a fresh mind to rethink the matters over. Since you are not left with the option of discussing the matter with the friend that cut you off, try talking to another friend or a family member to get a perspective on the matter other than yours. When we are angry at someone, we forget to pay heed to other’s feelings, especially the one over which we are upset and only focus on the wrongs that we had to go through. By discussing the matter with a third person, you will not only attain some clarity but also get a clear insight on the matter that you’ve been perceiving from your point all this while!
#7. Handle The Situation Maturely
When a friend cuts you off, realize what has happened and try not to cling over your friend or the matter too much. If your friend has blocked you on one of the social media websites, try to understand the situation and avoid contacting them on other social media apps. Just by making them talk to you will not necessarily mean that they are ready to talk over the matter. Give them time for their anger to settle down. Maybe they have blocked you because they don’t want things to get uglier and by limiting communication, they are trying to introduce some space.
#8. Don’t Blame Yourself!
Unless you're sure that it is something that you have done that made them cut you off, blaming yourself makes no sense. Maybe they did not realize their own mistake and just didn't want to face you for something that they already know they are at fault for. Some people cannot handle being at fault and tend to cover their mistakes by putting the blame on others. If you are going through a similar situation, avoid getting drowned in anger and try to remain calm. When you know that you are not to blame for, then obsessing over the matter or thinking as to why he or she did this to you will only make you more upset and that too, for something that you are not even to blame for.
#9. Don’t Let The World Know About The Squabble
If you have undergone this splash of disagreement with a friend, try to keep the matter to yourself. Letting the world know about the squabble either directly or indirectly will only give them a chance to laugh and babble at you guys. By sharing your private information on social media, you are not helping anyone. Unless you want to become a laughing stock and the topic of hot new gossip, keep the matter between you and your friend. Expressing anger this way will only exhibit your immaturity and lack of basic sense to the world.
#10. Get Over It!
When all things fail to work, the last option that you are left with includes getting over the matter. Getting flashbacks of the good times that you spent with your friend is something that you will probably not be able to avoid, as it is a memory that never disappears. Take your time to accept and grieve over what has already happened and stop thinking about it, ever again!
Here are some tips on how to handle the situation when your friend cuts you off. Hope you gained some knowledge and the article helped you in some way. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment if you agree or disagree with any point!
26 Opinions
3 Opinions
