How to deal with Regret?

What is regret? It is an emotional state where we tend to put the blame on ourselves for a bad result. It involves a sense of sadness where we wish we could undo a previous event or wish we hadn’t done it that way. But, apart from being a hurtful emotion, for people who are young, it could act as a beneficial emotion. This painful emotion can impel us to take corrective measures in order to rectify our mistakes which were committed in the past or could create a mindset of taking up a new path. However, we must also understand, the lesser the chances a person gets to rectify a mistake, the more pain it suffers from which has a drastic impact on his mental and physical well being. But, the main question we need an answer to is ‘How to deal with regret?’

According to various research studies, the feeling of regret is way different between two cultures persisting in the United States, namely, individualistic and collectivist culture.  It has been observed by them that people are allowed to make their own choices in the United States and regret emotion is very commonly felt in people. But in collectivist cultures in the United States, positive effects have been observed in people suffering from this emotion because they are not allowed to make choices themselves.  They can’t be blamed solely for negative consequences. They don’t hold any other option and make the best out of it.

Regret can have negative consequences on the mind and the body when we think about it incessantly. The design of thinking about one thing repeatedly which is negative in nature has terrible effects on our body. It may lead a person to depression. A recurrent regret can also cause stress in a person which affects their hormones and immune system working. Also, apart from that, the negative term also obstructs the potential to recuperate from life events which are stressful by making their place within a person’s mind for months or years sometimes.

Now, let us understand ways to deal with stress to lead a healthy life thereafter.

Understanding Your Regret

#1. Comprehension Of The Term Regret

It is a way of critically analyzing things that took place in the past for which you can put the blame on yourself. But if you try to regret positively, then it can become productive for you in the end because it helps you to change your habits and demeanor in the future. And, the regret which seems to be unproductive in the end leads to incessant stress which impacts the entire well-being of a person. Also, you must know that regret can take place over things whether they were done or not. Example, we can regret behaving in a certain way during a brawl or regret taking up a job offer.

#2. Identification Of Your Feelings Related To Regret

This may vary from an individual to individual and sadness, anger and shame are some of the common feelings of the term regret. You need to identify these feelings of regret in yourself. Example: You have initiated a misdeed, and you tend to think about it for numerous days. This can lead you to a feeling of hopelessness. You have thoughts such as ‘Wish I had done it differently and I wouldn’t have ended up feeling like this’. Such constant over thinking leads to anxiety which has an inevitable effect on future decisions a person decides to take.

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#3. Understand The Origin Of The Regret

Give a thought to the origin of this feeling of regret. Individuals may experience this feeling for innumerable reasons. Some of the reasons include:

Lifestyle: Numerous people have a sense of deep regret in themselves for moving to an entirely new country or for rejecting a beautiful house offer. Example: A person shifting to India from Canada may be shifting for a simple reason that they wish to have a warmer living. But a few months later, they find it impossible to fetch work there and live on the streets and that miss  nakes them miss their real home. That's when they regret their decision of moving to a different country.

Work: Individuals also get a feeling of regret when they do not follow their dream job and get bored of doing a job which just had money and no self-satisfaction.

Finish Off Regret With The Use Of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

#1. Usage of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: This therapy helps us in changing habits and patterns of our thought process. You will be able to change the feelings of regret, shame and anger along with being able to lay your focus on healing dangerous thoughts emotionally. So, it is also considered an effective way since it helps you in reducing and replacing those sinful feelings rather than just simply telling you to stop giving thoughts to your past.

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#2. Regrets Should Be Written Down

In the process of regret, people wonder why they initiated a particular act or why didn’t they do a specific act, and this is where they find themselves in a trap. So keep jotting down your regrets and numerous questions which you keep asking yourself on a constant basis. Example:  You may think why you did a particular act? You should change that ‘Why’ into ‘What’s next?’ This will indeed help you to come out of the feeling of being stuck.

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#3. Learn from Your Mistakes

You should know that regret can be vital to learn something for the future. Look for lessons learned from your mistakes and understand that lessons of life make you smart. Example: If are regretting for mistreating your parents, you might have understood that it is important to give respect your parents. And, trust me; imbibing such kind of knowledge just makes you a witty person.

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#4. Hold Control Over How Regrets Affect Your Future

You cannot make changes to your past, but you can decide how your past impacts your present and future. Example: You can’t make a change to a situation where you drank in sophomore days, but you can decide not to let this feeling of guilt affect your future and present decisions.

Thinking Beyond The Feeling Of Regret

#1. Building Compassion For Other Individuals

You must understand that you are not the only person suffering from this feeling. Just think what other persons might be going through. To understand the feelings of others, you need to understand what empathy means. This involves provocations to your prejudices and lending a hearing ear to others. Example: If you are a parent, you might regret drinking heavily during your sophomore years in college, you will have a good comprehension of how your daughter feels about a day she is not proud of.

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#2. Experience Gratitude From Regret

Instead of thinking of negative statements like ‘I shouldn’t have done this’, change the statement into a positive one by imbibing terms which are motivational and full of gratitude. When you do this, it will help you to reminisce about your past in a positive way. Example: I am lucky that it is way not too late to go to college or it’s never too late to bring a change in our habits.

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#3. Self-Forgiveness

We all know how badly regret can lead to resentment towards ourselves and others. Avoid it and learn to forgive yourself. It helps you to improve your self-esteem and lessen the sad feelings related to the term regret.  Also, you must know that self-esteem which is deemed healthy is vital to innumerable areas of your life such as relationships. Instead of getting a feeling of regret within yourself, learn from the mistakes you had committed in the past and permit yourself to move on.

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#4. Make Daily Affirmations A Ritual

What is an affirmation? It is considered a supportive and a positive statement to make you strong and uplift you. Holding a feeling of compassion for yourself permits you to empathize and give yourself in the past another chance to work on the mistake committed in the past. So, keep telling yourself or write about affirmations on an everyday basis. Example:
I make mistakes as I am human, so, it is fine sometimes
I will build up a worthy future as I’ve learned from my past

#5. Practice Writing A Letter To Yourself On Daily Basis

Did you know that practicing to write a letter to yourself every day can help you in forgiving yourself? It really does. This emotive weapon helps in healing your regret feelings in a fast manner. So start writing a letter to your past self and start the talk as you would to a child. It will make sure that you hold compassion for yourself. Keep prompting your past self that you should get the best things in life despite you making mistakes. Humans only make mistakes.

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