How to Handle your Toddler's Tantrums?

Does your toddler throw tantrums? Is it already running thin on patience? Well, for those who don't know who toddlers are, they are children from 12 to 36 months old. 

It's amazing to see how the young kids, who are barely learning how to walk, already have temper issues. This is the age when a child develops cognitive, emotional and social skills and when the child learns to interact with things around and starts interpreting what the child hears. But did you know this is also the time when the toddlers start having temper tantrums commonly referred to as “the terrible twos.” 

The child has temper tantrums because they do not know how to express their strong emotions. This phase for a toddler is the exploratory phase, and they discover that they are separate entities from their parents. Their curious minds seek answers to things around them, and when they are unable to get the answers, they throw tantrums. Though the tantrums last from about 30 seconds to 2 minutes, these two minutes can be very challenging for a parent. So, let us discover the reasons why could your toddler be throwing tantrums.  

#1. When a toddler is hungry, tired or uncomfortable, they may throw tantrums. When your child cannot get what they want is when they become irritable, and they throw tantrums.

#2. During this age, the toddler starts learning a language, and when they cannot express their feelings clearly it may cause exasperation leading to tantrums.

#3. This one is a little like an adult throwing tantrum. The child wants to have control over their environment, and when they cannot access that control, they throw tantrums.

#4. Your child may even throw a tantrum if they are scared or overtired.

#5. Your child may be throwing a tantrum because s/he needs your attention. Kids often seek their parent’s attention, and when they think they are not getting it, they become frustrated.

#6. Your child may be suffering from disease because of which s/he may be behaving oddly like diarrhea is very common among toddlers.

During a tantrum, your child may cry, scream or shout. They may arch their back or flail their hands. The toddler may even lose their breath during the crying which can be a very critical condition. Your one remark can set off your toddler’s tantrum. It becomes very important in that case for the parents to tackle the tantrums of their toddlers in the right manner. The question is then how to deal with toddler temper tantrums?

#1. Ignore

It may be painful as well as irritating to leave your child crying or shouting, but this is the best thing to handle their tantrum. When the child throws a tantrum their logical part of the brain becomes inactive, so if you will go and try to cool them off with your logic then it won’t work. “The reasoning part of the child’s brain isn't working," says Alan Kazdin, Ph.D., author of The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child.  

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#2. Give Them Space

Your toddler is throwing a tantrum because of some reason. So let your child express their feelings in whatever manner they can. If they are angry about something or they want to express something then let them. After they have expressed their feelings to you and you have listened to them, the child will regain the control. Your child has no other outlet for their emotions other than to speak about it. Give the toddler some space and the tantrum will be over soon.

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#3. Distract Them

Distract your child to stop them from crying or hurting themselves. Give them a toy  with which they can play. Sing a song or show them a cute video on your phone and your child will forget about their tantrum. The toys or the singing will create a diversion for the child as it is very easy to distract a child’s attention. At this age, the attention of a toddler is not like an adult’s, and therefore you can make use of it in your favor.

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#4. Solve Their Problem

Your child could be irritated because of various reasons. In order to tackle their tantrum, you must listen to why they are crying. Find out what made them tick off so much that they have taken up the whole house on their head. Ask your child to sign towards what they want as it is hard for them to speak about it. They do not have a big vocabulary to tell you what they need. Give them food if they are hungry, make them sleep if they are tired or snuggle with your child if s/he feels scared.

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#5. Stay Calm

In order to deal with your toddler’s tantrum, you must keep calm yourself. There may be chances that your child’s cries and shouts are disturbing you to the extent that you have become frustrated yourself. You may even spank your child in anger, but that is not how you stop temper tantrums. If you rebuke your child, then their tantrums may increase, so it is better that you stay calm and handle their temper tantrums effectively. You need to assure your child that you will listen to them.

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#6. Love Them

A child always needs attention and care so when your child is throwing a tantrum, instead of getting angry give them your love and affection. Hold them and hug them. Make your child feel loved and paid attention to. The child only needs to feel secure and that you care for them is the most important thing for them because their life still revolves around you. A big, firm and a long hug will calm down your toddler, and then you can talk to them easily. They will express their emotions after they feel secure.

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#7. Teach Discipline

Teach your child about discipline. Show them that such action like shouting is unacceptable. Teach them to express themselves better through sign language and pointing at things. Tell them that if they want something they can ask for it patiently and by request. If your toddler learns requesting and patience, then it will benefit them ahead in their life. Do not stop them from expressing their feelings. You just have to avert them from demanding things. You can give them choices instead of saying no to everything.

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#8. Praise Them For Good Behavior

Appreciate your child for every good action they make. You can reward them for doing it. Like if your child does not make noise at a restaurant you were having dinner at, then appreciate your child for being patience. You can give your toddler a toffee or allow something they like. You should encourage your child towards some specific behaviors like telling them that they can be polite or they can be nice to other people because they are the good kid. You can promise to give them what they want, and they will definitely follow your words.

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#9. Avoid Certain Situations

Avoid certain situations where your child can get angry. You should avoid working during the times they may be hungry, or you could simply prepare the meal for your child beforehand. You can work errands when your child is asleep or playing around. Try to avoid taking them to places where they may be a crowd or which will take a whole day without getting rest because toddlers cannot stay whole active day like us. When you plan to eat out make sure you get a seat reserved before you reach the place or choose a restaurant where the service is quick.

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