How to Have a Good Argument?

1,757 Views Updated: 22 Nov 2017
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A ‘good argument’ seems a contradictory term, however, it is not. Some people take the argument to dominate or insult someone and others think it should be avoided at any cost. But regardless of the reasons, there can be good arguments as well. The good arguments are just usually more productive than the hot and cold arguments. They are done in order to find a solution and some people do get the balance right in many situations.

If people listen to each other and try to get a clear and better view of each other’s perspective, unproductive and shouting matches can be easily converted into productive conversation. You can actually get the most out of arguments as well if you want to learn from them too. Let us now dive in a couple of things you can do to have a good argument.

#1. The Matter Of Argument Should Be Relevant

The very first thing to know about an argument is that is the argument really worth it or not. Life is seriously very short to argue about every stupid thing. Therefore, consider first that is this argument really worth investing time on. Many arguments leave a very strong mark on your life which can damage a lot of things in your personal life. Thus, make sure that you are not arguing out of misunderstanding.

#2. Respect Is Important In Argument As Well

Mutual respect is a part of human manners which should be kept intact even when you are having an argument with someone. You don’t have the right to insult while arguing as well. Mocking remarks, devastating sarcasm and crudely insulting can never be a part of a good argument. The sentences which sound witty to others can be hurtful to the one you are arguing with. Therefore, while having an argument with anyone, try and be careful about how you mock and how you are using your humor. People who don’t believe in themselves usually tend to use pathetic tricks to let the other person down. You should rather treat a person with honesty and respect.

#3. Argue While Keeping The Purpose Of Argument In Mind

Before arguing with someone, you need to know whom you are arguing with. The most important thing you need to know is what you exactly want out of this argument. It is important critically as far as an argument is concerned. What is the result that you want from this argument? Ask yourself that the result you want is obtainable or not. Moreover, is it realistic or not. Your verbal battle is capable of creating a lot of damage to the other person, therefore, make sure you are well prepared and know what to do and what not to do. Think carefully before going for an argument.

#4. Craft Your Argument Before Actually Having It

It is better to craft what you are going to argue about so that you don’t get into the irrelevant part which can actually waste your time. If you know you are right in the argument, the other person will definitely try to divert your mind from talking irrelevant shit in front of you to waste your energy and time. You need to think about the argument in advance in order to save your time in thinking about what to say. Keep your choice of words direct and crisp so that they can hit the bull’s eye in only a few sentences. Spend time in clearing out your choice of words, body language, and manner of speaking so that it can affect the argument in the right way.

The world would have been such an easier place to live if people learn to stick to facts and information. However, this is not always the case. A rational decision will be to plan your counterpoints initially. You know the person you are going to argue with. Therefore, you can judge what that person can get into and at what level they can stoop down. We all have some emotionally vulnerable areas, preconceived notions and blind spots that we believe in. Therefore, in order to take care of those things you need to plan your counterparts to play safe with the person you are arguing with. Keep in mind the essential facts that can be used.

#5. Don't Get Personal

Beware of the personal comments that are coming through. Arguments can be dirty and messy. They just seem to be solving sometimes but end up being the most pathetic situation of your life. Therefore, look out for the person commenting and try to prevent yourself and others from it. Stick to the facts and relevant information to support your side rather than going personal on someone. Try to avoid commenting on the other person and also stop others if they are doing it.

#6. Keep Your Calm

Wasting energy on illogical things will never help you to have a good argument. There is no harm in calming yourself down in order to have a clean and relaxed mind. Even if you get a little sensitive and emotional, don’t show that on your face. If people will know your vulnerability and emotional triggers, they can use it to your disadvantage. Try to not lash out suddenly and keep your dignity intact in an argument. Keep your voice tone low, steady and non-fluctuating. Be as relaxed as possible. Even if you are not relaxed from inside, try to show it that way. Also, strictly avoid the high pitched voice. Your body language should look and sound powerful, relaxed and confident, but not aggressive or scared.

#7. Let The Other Person Express As Well

The smallest comment on someone can be taken as an insult. Therefore, try to know the whole story first before you jump to the conclusion and start blaming someone else. Realize that it is your responsibility to listen to the other side as well and try to understand it. Understand the perspective of the other person and try to respect it if possible. The chances are that you won’t agree with those points. However, have the dignity to listen to it and respect. If you will listen to the arguments and opinions of the other person, the possibility is that they will also try and understand your point of view. They might also feel equally strong about your point of views as well.

#8. Try To Be Civil Rather Than Being Too Loud

Regardless of the behavior of the other person, try to follow a code of conduct. There are some manners that need to be kept in mind in order to have a good argument. Try to be as civil as possible. More importantly, the people who shout the most are usually the people under blame and are guilty. Trying to be hard and screaming is not the right way to handle an argument. It generally comes off as immature and wrong to shout and behave in an aggressive way. Being civil will anyway keep the argument in a mannered way and it will be calm and good. Train your mind to be sensible and not lose control even in the worst situation.

#9. Look For Solutions

The people who have been into an argument will know how difficult is it to get into the solution finally. The motive of an argument should be to find a solution at the end as without finding the solution there will be no use of having an argument. Most likely people keep on repeating the same things all over again. Instead, try and be creative to look for the solutions so that the person you are arguing with can also settle for the same solution. Extending and stretching one argument isn’t going to solve it anyway. Therefore, find the solution in one argument and be done with it. Instead of increasing your level of frustration and anger, try and finish it for good with no grudges.

This is the ultimate guide to have a good argument without losing your control or ending up fighting. Please share your thoughts as well in the comments section below. We look forward to your replies.

(Image Courtesy: 1. Thought Catalog, 2. Mental Floss, 3. Critically Rated, 4. Mobius Executive Leadership, 5. The Cheat Sheet; YouTube (Featured Image Courtesy)