Marriage is an institution which transcends the boundaries of religion, creed, race, caste and even sex. Since time immemorial, marriage has been recorded in the pages of history. An official bond of a relationship for two people who wish to join hands and hearts for their life is precisely what is termed as a marriage, which entails rites, rituals and certain formalities. All the rights for future with your Mr. or Mrs. Right are sealed, the rites and hymns all the more highlight the bandwagon the two ride upon.
Well, we see people walking down the aisle with their beloveds, and it has almost become a quintessential part of the furniture of marriage these days. In the 21st century, everyone likes to choose their own partner who they feel is appropriate. People are, by degrees, are accepting the importance of one’s own druthers. Coercing someone into an institution this sacred and important is preposterous. We cannot so much as think to whisk away ourselves toward this thought, let alone materialize it. Gone are the days when people used to marry within their own communities. Not that marrying people from other race is easy, it is a mammoth task to work things out when you go for an interracial marriage. You are solely responsible for your decisions and have to give your best in your interracial relationship. Once you realize this, your relationship will flourish and linger for keeps.
There are lots of people who would offer you interracial relationship advice. Some people are liberal and open-minded who would give their nod to your interracial relationship, but then there are parochial and shallow ones in the bargain who have a bag of suggestions and advice ready for you. You sit pretty if your family is not conservative, but if it is otherwise, you will have to brace yourself for all the hostility, contempt, disgust, all kinds of remarks, intimidation, barbs and negativity around you. Chances are you might be sidelined; an interracial must support each other through thick and thin.
Segregation is what you get when people ostracize you. They fail to understand you. Marriages are made in heaven, right? But people on Earth conspire to turn these down with all their efforts. An interracial marriage can be the apotheosis in breaking the construct we are chained into by the conventions. The couple has to make it successful to set examples for others to follow.
With marriage comes great responsibilities, be it any kind of marriage. It becomes a tad difficult when you tie the knot with the person from a different race. It is not only you who have a number of duties and expectations, your partner is on the same page too. Tough it is, to acclimatize yourself according to each others’ environment and mindset, however, it is attainable. Everyone has to see to the rudiments and figure ways out to carry out the relationship smoothly. Here are some of the pointers that can help you in making an interracial relationship work:
#1. Act As A Shield For Your Partner
Relationships are based on mutual understanding and love. One must stand with one’s partner at all occasions no matter what. Society does not accept interracial marriages and tends to demean you. It is on to you to protect your partner from allegations and affronts. If your other half is ridiculed, try to comfort him or her. Do let him or her know what you feel for them. It is important to ask your significant other not to be affected by any harsh or hurtful remarks.
#2. Respect Each Other
Respect is essential in all kinds of relationship. People should be open regarding their culture, language, customs, heritage, family values, and the social and economic background. If you do not accept each other completely, problems will creep in. In order to make your interracial marriage work, you must discuss various subjects and express your opinions.
You have to accept your partner, through and through. In case of any familial issue, one must communicate with his or her partner frankly. Once you learn to enjoy each other’s culture, you will begin enjoying it. Have respect towards all religion and cultures. Do not ever try to be prejudiced in any manner whatsoever.
#3. Involve Families
Families are the fundamental building blocks in our lives. They have a huge role to play in our life. You cannot cut them dead when you decide to get hitched. Give a shout to your family members about your partner and their culture. All families are different, yet they are alike. Families are accountable for our overall growth, it is, therefore, important to involve families.
Plan outings with family so that your partner does not land up in any clumsy situation. They must feel at home whenever they meet. Avoid awkward moments. Moreover, both the families must keep up with one another to get a taste of cultures which are not familiar to them. Once people get closer, they develop deep bonds.
#4. Do Not Have High Expectations
Keep your expectations realistic. Do not set the bar too high. Expecting something from your partner is absurd. No one is perfect and cannot meet all our demands. We must throttle our list to stay logical and pertinent. If we deviate from one specific thing, we would wind up in a snag. Everybody wants his or her partner to be loyal, honest, affectionate and amiable.
Do not let the opinions of others impact your marriage. Please interact with your friends and family members before you enter the book of an interracial marriage. Suggestions, at times, are the key to problems lying before us. There is no harm in expecting something but going the extra mile to pressurize your partner to satisfy your own mind is absolutely wrong. Imagine what would you do, were you in your partner’s shoes? This would keep you level-headed.
Once you start nitpicking about your partner’s behavior, habits, and their background, you emerge as a bigoted person. Stating your notions subjectively is not acceptable. If you want to remain in the good books of your better half, you have to be objective in your outlook. Jaundiced thoughts paralyze us and our mindset.
#6. Keep Your Cool
You cannot stop anyone from expressing their opinion. Everyone has their prerogatives to put forward their views which might or might not be in line with your thoughts. Criticism is inevitable, you cannot give it a wide berth. Try to learn patience and practice it, do not caterwaul or shout at someone just because someone criticizes you. Deal with the matters in a pragmatic way. Keep your shirt on and let go of all bitter arguments.
Your partner might not like the way people react around you but tell them that is normal and enjoy your life.
#7. Set Borderlines
An interracial relationship is not a walk in the park. You ought to have some invisible lines marked for your interest and convenience. What if your friends invite you to the get-togethers sans your partner? Is this fair? No. Stick to your words and show people that you are only complete with your partner.
Sometimes, family members too, owing to societal pressure that ostracize your spouse for the fear of being insulted or attacked. Therefore, one must set some lines which people should not cross at any cost. Setting boundaries for your own self is also extremely significant. Wear your heart on your sleeve and do not shy away from letting people know that you are a sensible adult who can make decisions on his own. That your partner is not respected by your pals is really unreasonable and objectionable.
#8. Do Not Limit It To Sex
Black girls are supposed to be more sensually charge and sexually active. Do not form or go by the stereotypes created by people. People can have good sex in any marriage irrespective of one’s race or culture. Sex should not be the fundamental and primary rationale for marrying anyone. Sex is indeed one of the most important things in a relationship, but it cannot take your relationship to the next level. It can only malign things.
#9. Know Yourself
Before beginning an interracial relationship, you must introspect and know about your views. If you have grave doubts about your partner, their lifestyle and language, and culture, reconsider your decisions. And, if you are certain of yourself, go on and try to study the differences to know all and sundry ranging from one’ style and preferences to views on family planning.
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15 Opinions
Interracial marriages are no big deal in the twenty-first century. Marriages are made in heaven, they say. A person need not be from the same background in order to be compatible with you. One can gel up with someone instantly if one connects to the person on some level. It is beyond these factors. Chemistry and compatibility has got nothing to do with one’s culture or race. Mine was an interracial marriage and it’s going strong. There are certain myths which revolve around marriages but these needs to be bunked as marriage is a very sacred institution and we have no right to judge someone. Everyone has the prerogative to live life on his or her terms. One can decide to marry in any culture and it is absolutely normal. There is a lot brouhaha regarding marriages but then the criticism comes from the conservative section of the society. The ones who are orthodox tend to oppose such marriages and cannot accept these things. I believe such marriages should be promoted and encourages so that we can get ideas from other cultures as well. It is really boring to lead a life that is monotonous. Being with someone from a different culture brings you close to the heritage, culture, language and history of your partner. You get to know a lot about things that are uncommon to you. Although my parents were pretty okay with our marriage, my husband’s parents were a little skeptical. They had their doubts whether the marriage would last or not. However, my husband and I persuaded them and tied the knot at the end. Things are quite smooth today and I pray they remain the same so that we can lead a happy, blessed and joyous life. Well, in the beginning we faced quite a lot of problems but we sailed through those times bravely by being together. We learned each other’s culture and showed interest. We planned to learn each other’s language – the basic so that we could enjoy life and talk to each other in our mother tongue. It was a roller coaster ride and it was great fun doing all that stuff with my husband. Initially, I took time to grasp my husband’s culture and rituals but slowly and gradually I got a hang of it. It was not a walk in the park, no doubt but it sure was interesting and unique. I really enjoyed and learnt things from my husband’s family. Also, we planned family vacations prior to our marriage so that both the families could know each other well. We still go for outings for establishing a better connection among our families. One should not just think about oneself, you must consider your parents’ approval as well. Try hard to convince them and tell them how much love each other. They will definitely understand you. Sometimes, the families do not approve of interracial marriages due to their parochial outlook in life. Make sure you do not sacrifice your love, you can definitely ask them to support you.