How to Know if you are Stuck in a Toxic Marriage?

1,599 Views Updated: 14 Apr 2018
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How to Know if you are Stuck in a Toxic Marriage?

Is your marriage toxic? Are you stuck in a toxic marriage? What is a toxic marriage? The word toxic means something that is venomous, something injurious and harmful. If your marriage has led to injuries or has caused harm to you then your marriage is toxic. A good marriage brings bliss in a person’s life but if the opposite has happened in your life then you need to get out of the marriage. The longer a person stays in such a marriage, the harder it becomes to leave. How to leave a toxic marriage?

Do fights and arguments make a relationship toxic? Fights and arguments are normal in a relationship. It is often said that arguments are necessary for a relationship because it allows you to address issues in the relationship. So, how do you know that you are stuck in a toxic marriage? A study conducted in 2005 showed that an unsatisfying marriage may lead to increase in stress. A toxic relationship may make the person less healthy. Another study has shown that people in negative relationships are more likely to get heart disease. When a person does not stay happy in a relationship they are not able to focus on anything else in their life. The stress affects their work and other relationships as well.

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 A toxic relationship is marked by insecurity, abuse of power and control, demands, selfishness, self-centeredness, criticism, negativity, dishonest, distrust, demeaning comments and attitudes, and jealousy. Partners who are possessive get jealous easily and they start dominating their partners. Some lovers turn obsessive and they start controlling the lives of their partner. They cannot see their partners talking to the other person and they would captivate their partners inside their homes so that nobody else can take them away. The obsession becomes a disorder. Obsessive love is a condition where a person desires to possess the other person and they cannot handle the rejection. The person who is being controlled loses their life and freedom. The relationship that was supposed to give them wings becomes the birdcage. All these feelings and behaviors characterize a toxic marriage. Sometimes, marriages become abusive. One partner or both of them abuse each other physically and mentally. Physical abuse is domestic violence and it is a punishable offense. A person who suffers from domestic violence must contact professionals or the National Domestic Violence Hotline to seek help. Staying in such a marriage can be a threat to the person’s life. Leave the marriage or the relationship if it has turned ugly and you have lost control of the situation. Before you the situation runs out of your hands, it is important to know if you are stuck in a toxic marriage. Here a few signs that will tell you if you are stuck in a toxic marriage.

#1. Efforts Are One-Sided

Do you often find yourself thinking that the marriage has become one-sided? Do you always think and complain that you are the only one making all the efforts? If this is the situation then know that you are stuck in a toxic relationship. If you are the only one adapting and adjusting to the marriage then it means that your partner does not care about you. Your spouse is the least concerned because they may not be in love with your anymore or they may never have been. A person wouldn’t care to change their self unless they care about the other person. Staying in such a relationship would be the wrongest decision one would make. When there is no love in a relationship then no matter how much a person tries the relationship will never change. You cannot clap with one hand. Marriage also needs two hands, the efforts of two people to make it work and improve. Without the will of the other person, the marriage will not work the way one expects.

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#2. You Do Not Trust Your Partner Anymore

Your partner told you that they were late because they were stuck in traffic but you cannot trust them. You do not believe them even if they were honest in their explanation. A person loses trust in a relationship when there has been an incidence of cheating. Extra-marital affairs are one reason why a marriage does not work or why it becomes toxic. After a partner has cheated it becomes impossible to forgive the person. The relationship does not stay the way it was initially and the feeling of hatred, guilt, and anger takes the place of love, respect, and politeness. The person who got cheated on will never forgive and trust their partner again.

#3. The Atmosphere Is Not Comforting

A lot of times when the relationship has turned bitter the environment at home does not comfort anymore. Both the partners would try to leave home as soon as possible. They would not like to be in each other’s company. The presence of the other person starts to irritate the other and therefore the environment is uncomfortable. The fights and arguments which do not get resolved lead to a miscommunication and sometimes couples stop talking. The relationship ends for them and they lead their lives differently with a mutual understanding that they do not have anything to do with each other.

#4. Lack Of Support

When there is no communication at all it leads to the decline in the relationship. You do not feel like talking to them because they do understand whatever you do. They do not support you in your decisions and they want you to do what they like. You do not have the freedom to choose and whatever you choose for yourself is not backed by your partner. When your partner does not support you the relationship loses its essence. The vows they read while marrying you go in vain. The marriage does not make sense when you have to meet all the ups and downs on your own.

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#5. There Is No Intimacy

The marriage lacks intimacy. It has been a long time since you both made a physical contact. The problems in your relationship have taken so long and they have still not been resolved. When there is no connect there will be no contact as well. You do not touch each other and you live in different rooms. This is a sign that your relationship is turning toxic. If you wish to save your marriage then you should try to resolve the issues and try to make physical contact. Embracing each other can make the relationship much better and it builds trust in a relationship.

#6. Control Issues Are Ruining Your Relationship

Your partner wants to dominate you. They want you to go where they want to take you and do whatever they like. Their control over your life is increasing day by day. It is normal when a partner becomes jealous. But when the jealousy starts taking a different shape and they expect you to disconnect from all the friends and family then it becomes a problem. It may harm you soon so it would be wise to leave the toxic marriage.

#7. Constant Emotional Abuse

They try to make you feel bad about yourself. They abuse you and they ignore you all the time. You try to talk to them but they avoid the conversations. They argue with you and come to you when they need something from you. It hurts you and it gives you a lot of mental pain. Crying alone at home is not the solution. If you are stuck in a toxic marriage then you should leave instead of going through the emotional or the physical abuse.

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Are you stuck in a toxic marriage? How did you leave a toxic relationship? Share your experiences with us through the comments section below.

(Image Courtesy: 1. Motormouth Uganda, 2. Hey Sigmund, 3. Psychology Today, 4. Health Magazine: Counseling center(Featured Image Courtesy)
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